What is hacking you off today?

[londonblue]

Agreed.

Fifties are for wiping your arse.

Everything else goes on my account and I have accounts in establishments as diverse as Porters, Clouseau's, The Sutton Arms and The Woodgrange.

Edited for accuracy.

 

[MK Shrimper]

The wiring in my house is absolutely ***** :sad:

 

[Uncle Leo]

Some berk driving in to the back of my car en route to work this morning. Damage to his pretty bad and only a few scratches on mine but still, not an ideal start to the working week.

 

[Pubey]

Up all night with sickness and diarroea. Made the decision to go in to work cos was on an interview panel this morning.

Managed to **** myself without noticing until a rush to toilet between a presentation and interview.

Heading home now

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

Up all night with sickness and diarroea. Made the decision to go in to work cos was on an interview panel this morning.

Managed to **** myself without noticing until a rush to toilet between a presentation and interview.

Heading home now

Sorry to hear that.

Were you wearing red tracksuit trousers?

 

[MK Shrimper]

Sorry to hear that.

Yer, echo that.

However - can we change your user name to Poopy? :smile:

 

[southend4ever]

it was always going to be a bad day when the alarm went off and i thought it was still the weekend! :nope:

 

[Shrimper2thecore]

Someone in the office stole the last of my cereal.

Imagine my horror when I went to get my breakfast this morning and it was gone :omg:

 

[southend4ever]

Someone in the office stole the last of my cereal.

Imagine my horror when I went to get my breakfast this morning and it was gone :omg:

This reminds me of a time that I went home for the weekend at Uni and left beers in the fridge. I come back late on a Sunday and my housemates have cained the beers. Seriously fuming. I learnt that was my mistake though!

 

[EastStandBlue]

This reminds me of a time that I went home for the weekend at Uni and left beers in the fridge. I come back late on a Sunday and my housemates have cained the beers. Seriously fuming. I learnt that was my mistake though!

You bought beers at Uni and didn't share the wealth? Scumbag.

 

[Pubey]

Someone in the office stole the last of my cereal.

Imagine my horror when I went to get my breakfast this morning and it was gone :omg:

The last of a box of cereal is horrible though so the joke is on them really.

 

[MK Shrimper]

Johnny newnuts who's nicked my usual seat in the office - he must get in stupidly early to claim it too. :angry:

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

Another MP lining his own pocket. Mr Dorrell, who clocked up £129,673.32 in expenses for 2013/14 as well as a fee of £10,000 for his role as director of management services firm Faithful. Those massive expenses should be looked at for a start. But worst of all is this. Makes me mad.

A leading doctor has demanded Stephen Dorrell quit as either an MP or an adviser to a private firm targeting a lucrative NHS contract.

The Tory is in a conflict of interest row after taking up a post with KPMG which is considering bidding for a £1billion deal to manage the medical records of all patients.

Mr Dorrell quit as chairman of the powerful House of Commons Health Select Committee in June.

He told his local party he would step down at May’s general election because his new job was “incompatible” with his role as a £67,060-a-year MP.

But the Mirror can reveal he starts his new job on Monday and will be in both posts for six months.

The move sparked fury, with National Health Action party co-leader Dr Clive Peedell insisting Mr Dorrell can only do one role.

The cancer specialist said: “Stephen Dorrell admits his new job is *incompatible with being an MP. If that’s the case, he should resign immediately or give up the new role.

“This also makes it clear why Mr Dorrell suddenly resigned as chair of the Health Select Committee. Clearly a better offer came his way.

“This case demonstrates everything that is rotten about our *political system.

“One moment Mr Dorrell is the *influential chairman of the Health Select Committee making *important decisions about our NHS.

"The next he’s helping a private company in the frame for a multi-billion pound contract to run support services for our NHS.”

Christina McAnea, Unison health union boss, added: “There is a huge conflict of interest in this *appointment.

"How can someone so close to government NHS policy work as an MP and with a firm trying to make profits out of patients?”

Mr Dorrell, who clocked up £129,673.32 in expenses for 2013/14 as well as a fee of £10,000 for his role as director of management services firm Faithful, will work three days a week for KPMG at its Healthcare and Public Sector practice.

The firm announced the former Health Secretary’s arrival last week.

It said on its website: “His knowledge and expertise will be a huge help.”

KPMG declined to reveal his salary – but it is expected to be a six-figure, pro rata sum.

It is one of 21 global companies which attended a secret NHS England meeting in London to “express interest” in the £1billion NHS contract – the largest ever in the history of the health service.

As well as managing records, the business that wins the deal will supply administrative support to the NHS and handle letters to patients about breast and cervical cancer *screenings, along with other tasks.

KPMG’s healthcare practice earned more than £2billion in revenue last year.

Mr Dorrell voted for the Health and Social Care Act in 2012, which opened the NHS to private firms.

He confirmed his new job will be for “21 hours a week”.

But he said of the letter to his local party: “It says it was incompatible with seeking re-election.

 

[LCBB72]

Last week I took my grandson for a walk in his pram , only to find when I got home that I had dog s**t on the wheel , when I went out today I made sure that I did not do the same , only to find when I got home I had dog s**t on my boot , f*****g dogs and f*****g dog owners . :angry:

 

[Uncle Leo]

Johnny newnuts who's nicked my usual seat in the office - he must get in stupidly early to claim it too. :angry:

What a great name though. Is he from New Jersey? Do his family all work in 'waste management'?

 

[MK Shrimper]

What a great name though. Is he from New Jersey? Do his family all work in 'waste management'?

I think I overdosed on Boardwalk Empire. :unsure:

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

My friends daughter has just started school this year. There are a few Muslim children in the school, but not many. They had their first rehearsal of the nativity play. She was picked to play Mary, and was so pleased and excited.
Because of complaints from the Muslim parents, they have now changed the nativity play to a winter celebration, along with hundreds of other schools across Britain.
WTF.

 

[Mad Cyril]

My friends daughter has just started school this year. There are a few Muslim children in the school, but not many. They had their first rehearsal of the nativity play. She was picked to play Mary, and was so pleased and excited.
Because of complaints from the Muslim parents, they have now changed the nativity play to a winter celebration, along with hundreds of other schools across Britain.
WTF.

We should be building bridges, not walls.

 

[OldBlueLady]

My friends daughter has just started school this year. There are a few Muslim children in the school, but not many. They had their first rehearsal of the nativity play. She was picked to play Mary, and was so pleased and excited.
Because of complaints from the Muslim parents, they have now changed the nativity play to a winter celebration, along with hundreds of other schools across Britain.
WTF.

This has been the way in infant schools for years. In most cases, the story of the Nativity forms part of the celebration but the whole thing is not advertised as "the Nativity".

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

My friends daughter has just started school this year. There are a few Muslim children in the school, but not many. They had their first rehearsal of the nativity play. She was picked to play Mary, and was so pleased and excited.
Because of complaints from the Muslim parents, they have now changed the nativity play to a winter celebration, along with hundreds of other schools across Britain.
WTF.

What are they going to do instead - one mass decapitation of infidels? That should send the ****ers home with a smile on their faces.