Your Jokes, Strictly for the Pub only.

[MK Shrimper]

The Russian acrobat troupe cancelled their show when one of them went sick. They hadn't got Oleg to stand on.

 

[SARF]

I was doing a crossword and was having some trouble A friend tried to help. What are you stuck on he asked ..

12 across .. postman’s sack.

how many letters

hundreds of em !

 

[Gt Yarmouth Shrimper]

Now that The Who have postponed their tour due to Our friend Corona, it should give Pete Townshend time to write his book!!!

 

[Firestorm]

What composer caught Coronavirus

Drycoughski

(c) a 10 year old whose mum is on Twitter......

 

[Goldinm]

 

[The Big Dady]

The New Italian Job, Bog Rolls are more valuable than gold.

 

[MK Shrimper]

The New Italian Job, Bog Rolls are more valuable than gold.

View attachment 11711

Alright lads, I need a poo.....

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

So a very drunk guy goes into a small Bar in America. He goes up to the barman and says ''DRINKS FOR EVERYONE'', ''And one for you barman.'' After ''CHEERS, CHEERS'' and more ''CHEERS'' glug, glug, glug. The barman says ''Thanks buddy, that'll be 73 Dollars. The drunk says ''Oh, I haven't got any money, it's the thought that counts.'' The barman takes him outside, and gives him a right pasting. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back into the bar, goes up to the barman and says ''DRINKS FOR EVERYONE'' ''But not for you, you get violent after a drink.''

 

[MK Shrimper]

I went to Debenhams before the coronavirus crisis to buy a maternity bra for my girlfriend. The assistant asked, "What bust?" "

The condom." I replied...

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

 

[LCBB72]

I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

You are a cad Ronnie .

 

[RobM]

The inventor of the stroboscopic light sadly died yesterday.
His funeral will be n x Th r da t 2. .m.

 

[MK Shrimper]

The inventor of the stroboscopic light sadly died yesterday.
His funeral will be n x Th r da t 2. .m.

Or Norman Collier.

 

[RobM]

My wife told her mate I had a 2" willy. Then I showed her the correct way to hold the ruler.

 

[LCBB72]

My wife told her mate I had a 2" willy. Then I showed her the correct way to hold the ruler.

Have you thought of teaming up with Seventies North Bank and forming a comedy duo .

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

A Pirate at the doctor: "I'm concerned about the moles on me back, aharr!" Doctor: "Well, it looks like they're benign." Pirate: "Count again - I'm sure there be ten!"

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

In a cemetery, I saw 4 men carrying a coffin round and round. 3hours later, I saw the same men with the same coffin. I thought, these guys have lost the plot.

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

Someone has pinched my trainers and fluorescent jacket. They can run, but they can’t hide.

 

[RobM]

I wanted to take my sheepdog to the beach on Jan 1. It wasn't permitted.

It was a ban collie day!

 

[fbm]

The Dalai Lama has been spotted in a Casino. Well, he does love Tibet...