Southends weirdest fans

[Barry the dog]

Well that settles it the winner of the Southend fans weirdest fan 2004 goes to CS COCKLES.

Congratulations CS.

 

[nnatt76]

A blast from the past....

That security guard that had long hair and used to walk past the north Bank...think he was nicknamed Teen wolf ?

 

[W4 Shrimper]

Quote[/b] (Smudger @ May 06 2004,12:31)]I was also wondering the other day whether the catering girls look back with misty eyes to the days when the entire north bank would sing "get your tits out for the lads" as they walked back from the West with the takings. Regular as clockwork, week in and week out. They never did though.

I remember one of the first times we had a WPC at Roots Hall. Poor girl was standing right in front of the North Bank when my old man shouted:

SHOW US YOUR BEAVER

cue laughter from everyone except me, who was nine years old and wondered why a policewoman would own a big toothed river creature.

 

[CSWICKFORDSHRIMPER]

Quote[/b] (Barry the dog @ May 06 2004,10:23)]Theres also two brothers from Wickford that use to go quite a bit. They both have massive fringes and are always drunk when i see them at games.  

 

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Very Funny Ben

Dont give up the day Job !!

I voted for CS Cockles ! nice bloke but must stop wearing them snide clothes

One Team In Essex
SOUTHEND UNITED FC

 

[CS Cockles]

Quote[/b] (CSWICKFORDSHRIMPER @ May 06 2004,14:08)]

Quote[/b] (Barry the dog @ May 06 2004,10:23)]Theres also two brothers from Wickford that use to go quite a bit. They both have massive fringes and are always drunk when i see them at games.  

 

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Very Funny Ben  

 

Dont give up the day Job !!

I voted for CS Cockles ! nice bloke but must stop wearing them snide clothes

One Team In Essex
SOUTHEND UNITED FC

How dare you

 

[Barry the dog]

Quote[/b] (CS Cockles @ May 06 2004,16:02)]

Quote[/b] (CSWICKFORDSHRIMPER @ May 06 2004,14:08)]

Quote[/b] (Barry the dog @ May 06 2004,10:23)]Theres also two brothers from Wickford that use to go quite a bit. They both have massive fringes and are always drunk when i see them at games.  

 

.

Very Funny Ben  

 

Dont give up the day Job !!

I voted for CS Cockles ! nice bloke but must stop wearing them snide clothes

One Team In Essex
SOUTHEND UNITED FC

How dare you

You only have yourself to blame Cockroach for your years of stupidity.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (W4 Shrimper @ May 06 2004,13:39)]SHOW US YOUR BEAVER

cue laughter from everyone except me, who was nine years old and wondered why a policewoman would own a big toothed river creature.

...when, of course, your Dad was referring to the fact that "Beaver" were the Southend United kit manufacturers at that time...

 

[sufcintheprem]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ May 06 2004,16:08)]...when, of course, your Dad was referring to the fact that "Beaver" were the Southend United kit manufacturers at that time...

...the irony being, she wouldn't be able to show such impartiality.

Surprised a joke like that would have got such a good reception.

 

[Sniffer]

My vote would go to this bloke who sits in the East Stand (sometimes blue seats, sometimes black). Most of the time he is with his girlfriend (although a mate of mine knows of him and apparantly he is a closet chutney), i think they have recently had a baby. He is overweight and is losing his hair (in fact he looks like the lead singer of 'Right Said Fred'). He is often seen eating a family sized Lasagne. He is quite good mates with Dagenham Kev. He also thinks he is a bit of a 'hoolie' in his River island coat and Le Shark T-Shirt.
Does anyone know him ??

 

[Barry the dog]

Quote[/b] (Sniffer @ May 06 2004,16:56)]My vote would go to this bloke who sits in the East Stand (sometimes blue seats, sometimes black). Most of the time he is with his girlfriend (although a mate of mine knows of him and apparantly he is a closet chutney), i think they have recently had a baby. He is overweight and is losing his hair (in fact he looks like the lead singer of 'Right Said Fred'). He is often seen eating a family sized Lasagne. He is quite good mates with Dagenham Kev.  He also thinks he is a bit of a 'hoolie' in his River island coat and Le Shark T-Shirt.
Does anyone know him ??

its got the be the one and only Jonny Campbell.

I will have that money for you saturday Si, lost me pin number last week!

 

[Sniffer]

Ok Barry, will see you at some point on Saturday.

p.s. Did you get down to Brown's last Friday ??

 

[Barry the dog]

Quote[/b] (Sniffer @ May 06 2004,17:14)]Ok Barry, will see you at some point on Saturday.

p.s. Did you get down to Brown's last Friday ??

No mate ended up getting on it i Upper St thursday so coudn't be arsed.

 

[* ORM *]

There's some dodgy geezer that keeps turning up in the West and insists on close to me every match.

He does this wierd twiching movement with his leg and arm as if attempting to stop a football that was travelling towards him at 2 mph.

The silly sod even ran all the way down to the front after Gower had got the winner at home to Darlo to dance with joy amongst the five year olds.

 

[Benfleet boy]

Does anyone know that man who used to be a steward in the West stand, and know sits by the centre stairs in the South lower. He always shouts things as loud as he can that make no sense, and what none of the players can hear. All the little kids that sit down the front always take the p*ss out of him, and as he knows all the stewards they always get warned. He looks funny, wears dodgy clothes, hes got a funny voice and always smokes cigarettes that i swear are a bit dodgy

 

[* ORM *]

Quote[/b] (Benfleet boy @ May 06 2004,19:02)]Does anyone know that man who used to be a steward in the West stand, and know sits by the centre stairs in the South lower. He always shouts things as loud as he can that make no sense, and what none of the players can hear. All the little kids that sit down the front always take the p*ss out of him, and as he knows all the stewards they always get warned. He looks funny, wears dodgy clothes, hes got a funny voice and always smokes cigarettes that i swear are a bit dodgy  

Are you sure he used to be a steward? Sounds exactly like the one I've just described

 

[Uncle_Rons_Teapot]

Has anyone seen the bald guy who sits in the west stand family enclosure with his family and his mate and allways shouts as loud as he can to the players and the ref everytime the ref blows the whistle. allways makes me and others around laugh

 

[Javea Shrimper]

What about the fat bloke in the East Greens who used to think the dividing wall was a drum and ba .....

Oh, that was me ...

WS

 

[BluePartridge]

Quote[/b] (Got any Spall shorts @ May 06 2004,11:05)]just realised he could be kevin, ive never spent enough time with him to know his name, i think he has a drink problem.

Kevin I have many INTERESTING conversations with. I wasn't there, but once he was talking about Robot managers or something.

I think he's a bit clinically mental since he was up in a hospital near Manchester and used to watch all the football up there. I believe he follows Daggers closely also he likes to visit Thurrock occasionally.

 

[new bloke]

Quote[/b] (Javea Shrimper @ May 06 2004,21:05)]What about the fat bloke in the East Greens who used to think the dividing wall was a drum and ba .....

Oh, that was me ...

WS

I think you will find Mike that the new fat bloke in the East Greens also likes to bang things....

 

[Guest]

What about Mark Wallis, Steve Connolly and the Slug - what a set of beauties, fit for anybody's mantlepiece!