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Classic Comedy Catch Phrases and one liner's

Forums New posts
More Blackadder

Blackadder Impossible sir. I know from long experience that my men have all the artistic talent of a cluster of colourblind hedgehogs... in a bag.
Melchett Hm, well that's a bit of a blow. We needed a man to leave the trenches immediately.
Blackadder Leave the trenches?
Melchett Yes.
Blackadder Yes, I wonder if you've enjoyed, as I have sir, that marvellous painting in the National Portrait Gallery, "Bag Interior", by the colourblind hedgehog workshop of Sienna.


Blackadder: I remember Massingbird's most famous case - the Case of the Bloody Knife. A man was found next to the murdered body. He had the knife in his hand, thirteen witnesses had seen him stab the victim, and when the police arrived, he said, "I'm glad I killed the *******." Massingbird not only got him off, he got him knighted in the New Years Honours list, and the relatives of the deceased had to pay to have the blood washed out of his jacket.


Baldrick: BOOM BOOM BOOM
BOOM BOOM BOOM
Blackadder: Boom boom boom
Baldrick: how did you know, sir?
 
One for Glasgow.

Of course I've been on package tours many times before.....

Fawlty Towers
Manuel "I know nothing"

Basil "What do you expect from Torquay, herds of wildebeest wandering across the plain, the hanging gardens of Babylon?"

:D
 
Family Guy

Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks!!!
 
The Simpsons

Here in my car
I am washing out blood
Some of it's mine
But most of it's not
Here's Marge.
 
That reminds me.... to the theme of the Flinstones....

Simpson! Homer Simpson!
He's the greatest guy in history!
From the town of Springfield!
He's about to hit a chestnut tree!"
 
More Blackadder

Blackadder: The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Perce?

Blackadder: Needs must when the devil vomits into your kettle.

Queenie: I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.

Baldrick: I found it particularly ironic, my lord, because I've got a thingy that's shaped like a turnip... I'm a big hit at parties… I hide in the vegetable rack and frighten the children.

Blackadder: 'We've been sitting here since Christmas 1914, during which time millions of men have died, and we've moved no further than an asthmatic ant with some very heavy shopping.'
 
Police Squad

FRANK DREBIN - I love being single! I havent had this much sex since I
was a boyscout leader!


FRANK - Are you sure you'll be able to beat the champ tomorrow?
BOXER - I can take him blindfolded!
FRANK - Well, what if he's not blindfolded?
BOXER - I can still take him!

FRANK - After being retired for sixth months I was finally
back into action. Faster than you can say spread 'em - I was
inside the cold grey walls of Statesville Prison. I was
surrounded by pimps, racists and murderers. It was like being in
the stand at an L A Raiders game.
 
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