Battle of the Sitcoms - Round One (Heat 5)

[OldBlueLady]

Err... I can't access YouTube at all here...

:thump:

No, but that's why I said "visual" - you ought to be able to picture the hip and happenin' Cat's reaction to becoming Dwayne Dibley!

 

[SUFC_Al]

Rimmer having an argument with himself in Me2 in series 1 is quality.

Rimmer (duplicate speaking to Scutters): yeah, go on hit the wall, hit the wall. (Shouts down the corridor) Will you be quiet, some of us are trying to sleep.
Rimmer (original to Lister): obviously we have our disagreements.
Rimmer (duplicate, shouting): Shut up you dead git.
Rimmer (original to Lister): excuse me Lister a second will you? (Bellows down the corridor): Stop your foul whining you filthy piece of distended rectum! (To Lister) Lister, there's no point in concealing it anymore, Rimmer and me we've had a little tiff, nothing major but it goes without saying it was his fault.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

No, but that's why I said "visual" - you ought to be able to picture the hip and happenin' Cat's reaction to becoming Dwayne Dibley!

I can sort of picture The Cat / Dwayne Dibley... it's been a while, though!

 

[Irish_Shrimper]

Father Ted most certainly. The episode where Dougal becomes a milkman and there is the bomb on the milkfloat is absolutely priceless!

 

[Jedi Shrimper]

8 Votes Behind! I've flamingoed up!


Rimmer: The thought occurs that we haven't actually reached earth. The further thought occurs that we haven't budged a smegging inch.
Holly: No, we have. I just don't know where we are. There's no two ways about it, I flamingoed up!
Lister: What do you mean?
Holly: It's like a ****-up only much much bigger.

 

[Napster]

Nirvana: It was... different.
Rimmer: Different?
Nirvana: You make love like a Japanese meal. Small portions but SO many courses.

(Small talk after making love with Nirvana)
I'm sorry. I must seem very ignorant. I hardly said anything, apart from `Geronimo'.

CAT: What? Am I the only sane one here? Why don't we drop the defensive shields?
KRYTEN: A superlative suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws. One, we don't have any defensive shields, and two, we don't have any defensive shields. Now I realise that, technically speaking, that's only one flaw but I thought it was such a big one it was worth mentioning twice.

 

[SUFC_Al]

I fear our Red Dwarf quote-fest is going to be in vain, although anything could still happen.

Lister: You're saying it's Psirens?
Rimmer: Of course it is, it's as plain as a Bulgarian pin-up.

 

[SUFC_Al]

BLAIZE:Hello, and welcome to Lifestyles of the Disgustingly Rich and Famous. Tonight we'll be looking at the world's youngest billionaire, Mr Dave "Tension Sheet" Lister. Behind me, Mr Lister's English mansion. He had the whole building transported brick by brick fromhalf a mile down the road, just to get away from the neighbours. Nowthat's the kind of cash that opens anybody's legs! (Snorts.) The gravel in his drive came from Buckingham Palace. Dave bought Buck Palace and had it ground down just to line his drive. This man has a wad so thick you could use it to beat whales to death. He calls his home "Xanadu", not in reference to the movie "Citizen Kane", but in tribute to the hit single by Dave, Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich. But Dave has musical aspirations of his own. Only last year his first single, "Om", shot to number one when he personally purchased three million copies. You'll never be short of an ashtray in his house. Like many people who appear to have everything, Dave's life has been tinged with tragedy. Well actually it hasn't, but we can only hope. Now onto Dr Bob Porkmann, father of the condom that calls you back.

 

[Jedi Shrimper]

Kryten: I ask the court one key question: would the Space Corps have allowed this man (Points at Rimmer) ever to be in a position where he might endanger the ship? A man so petty and small-minded he would while away his evenings sewing name labels on to his ship-issue condoms? A man of such awesome stupidity...
Rimmer: Objection. Justice: Objection overruled.
Kryten: A man of such awsome stupidity, he even objects to his own defence counsel.

Kryten: Who would let this man, this joke of a man, a man who could not even outwit a used teabag, be in a position to endanger the entire crew? Who? Only a yoghurt! This man is not guilty of the crime of second degree manslaughter; he is guilty only of being Arnold J. Rimmer. THAT is his crime; that is also his punishment. Defence rests. Rimmer: Objection! Your honour, I want an apology.

 

[Jedi Shrimper]

I fear our Red Dwarf quote-fest is going to be in vain, although anything could still happen.

So do I, but it's fun, so let's continue.

Kryten: The Space Corps Directive #195 clearly states that in an emergency power situation, a hologramatic crew member must lay down his life in order that the living crew members might survive.
Rimmer: Ah yes, but Rimmer directive #271 states just as clearly: No chance you metal *******.

 

[Firestorm]

And Clare Grogan was the original Kochinsky (sic).

Went down hill towards then end but it was a classic series

the acid test for me is the re runs on cable, I will watch Red Dwarf if it comes up whilst Channel hoping (and the Young Ones) Father ted illicits the response "if theres nothing else, and I should really be doing the washing up"

 

[DTS]

Father Ted is **** and had it not been Pubey who put it up I may well have used my neg rep button for daring to mention it.....

 

[Beefy]

Well that largely depends on if you think that making stuff up is the same as merely having a different opinion to you.

Not at all Sean, my point was more that you were talking the show down extensively and then admitted that you actually like it and were just bored at work.

 

[MK Shrimper]

Father Ted is **** and had it not been Pubey who put it up I may well have used my neg rep button for daring to mention it.....

I'm sorry Dave, some of you scathing attacks on some of these absolutely classic shows makes me question your sanity!

 

[Alexis_SUFC]

Really tough choice as I love them both, had to flip a coin and Father Ted won.

 

[HUTTON]

Really tough choice as I love them both, had to flip a coin and Father Ted won.

Have you been watching Batman

 

[seany t]

Not at all Sean, my point was more that you were talking the show down extensively and then admitted that you actually like it and were just bored at work.

Oh I see what you were getting at now. But what I meant by the 'being bored at work' comment is that normally I wouldn't bother debating it on a forum for 2 hours if I was busy, not that I was creating an argument for the sake of it. I genuinely do think that the earlier series of RD were weaker, and that it was a lesser comedy than Ted overall.

RD is a classic show, but for me it just hasn't dated as well. It's a shame one of these two has to go out at this stage when you see some of the tripe that's got a chance of making it to Round 2, but what can you do eh?

 

[Beefy]

The first two seasons look very dated because they are very dated. But Fawlty Towers looks very dated. The comedy itself still stands up though.

 

[BrettieAngell]

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed dwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf!!!

 

[BrettieAngell]

The first two seasons look very dated because they are very dated. But Fawlty Towers looks very dated. The comedy itself still stands up though.

Agreed I still love the first two series', the dialogue between Rimmer and Lister in the first series is brilliant.