Ask Jonny

[Jonny_Stokes]

Just think what you missed out on

Herpes?

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

Dear Jonny

Serious part first: would you be able to put me in touch with anyone in the Orient fan base who was instrumental in getting your club back?

Urgent more important part: what kinda guy are you..... fish supper - cous cous brunch - kipper breakfast - steak meal

much love
Scott aka your arch nemesis for over 15 years

Hi Scott!

I most certainly can put you in touch with them, though I would caution that they might prefer to deal with the official Supporters Trust. Having said that, I’m sympathetic to the aims and militancy on SOS and I’m sure LOFT would be happy to advise (even though I suspect they’d council your first move to be getting the Trust onside).

The current Chair of LOFT is unwell and the secretary (who posts on here very occasionally) has recently been bereaved, so I would contact the general LOFT email which is: lofanstrust@gmail.com

Most important guy to end up in touch with is Adam Michaelson, the legal counsel, and he can be contacted at: legal@leytonorientfanstrust.com.

As for your more important question, I am very much a pie, mash and liquor kind of gal. You can take the south Londoner out of the East End, but you can’t take the East End out of the country bumpkin.

Love,

Uncle Jonny

ps. DTS was always my nemesis, but only because he used to try and buy my well-worn short shorts for his own perverted predilections.

 

[Floval Flyer]

Hi FF!

I’m glad I’m answering this question on a sunny morning in a cheerful mood otherwise this might make depressing reading!

I’ll skirt the trips to our fallen League brothers - everyone knows that Torquay and Notts County are two of the best away days in the country, and not to wear colours when visiting the Neanderthals up at Wrexham, right? - and instead concentrate on some of the more, er, ‘charming’ grounds you may visit.

Can thoroughly recommend Maidenhead. Lovely ground, setting, pubs and the opportunity to sing unpleasant songs about Theresa May. As for the best of the rest, well there’s Woking and... errr. Well, we’re penetrating deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness aren’t we? Um. Where was I...?

Ah yes, the National League. Important to accept that you’re going to take a proper ‘welcome to non-league’ shellacking somewhere you’ve never played in your entire history. 4-1 at Eastleigh. 5-0 at Kings Lynn. 6-1 at Bromley... You’re going to have a dream about being a large fish in a small pond, waltzing to the title. Unfortunately, we live as we dream - alone. While the dream disappears, the life continues painfully. When you look at the table in November and yourselves 10 places below Solihull Moors, it’ll feel like the club you’ve followed for decades has died. You’ll stop caring as much, but know that you’re not alone...

...I have wrestled with the National League. It is the most unexciting contest you can imagine. It takes place in an impalpable greyness, with nothing underfoot, with nothing around, without spectators, without clamour, without glory, without the great desire of victory, without the great fear of defeat, in a sickly atmostphere of tepid scepticism, without much belief in your own right, and still less in that of your adversary.

When we got murdered at Fylde, I remember the change that came over my friend’s features. I had never seen it before, and hope never to see again. He cried in a whisper at some image, at some vision—he cried out twice, a cry that was no more than a breath: “‘The horror! The horror!”

I think I need a lie down.

Love,

Uncle Jonny

After tonight I’m re-reading your post and thinking maybe it’s about to become reality.

Maidenhead, Bromley, Dagenham & Redbridge, Wealdstone, Borehamwood, Eastleigh, Aldershot... Oh dear! I need a drink

 

[Massimo Giovanni]

Jonny,
In the Bananarama will I be able to take my dog to watch games or is that lower down the pyramid still?
Can beer be drunk in the grounds?
What round will we be knocked out of fa cup?
MG

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

Jonny,
In the Bananarama will I be able to take my dog to watch games or is that lower down the pyramid still?
Can beer be drunk in the grounds?
What round will we be knocked out of fa cup?
MG

Buongiorno Massimo!

Normally I have a uncontrollable festering hatred for all things involving Italians and League Two, but I’ll make an exception just for you.

I’m afraid that dogs and the consumption of alcohol in view of the pitch are not allowed in the Bananarama - those things become legal in the pub leagues below NLN/NLS. This is also true of FA Trophy games, so in the event of getting drawn away at Dog & Duck you still won’t be able to enjoy either.

You’ll enter the FA Cup at the final preliminary stage, so just one win will do it to have the chance at being the plucky tinpot underdogs that get to host the draw. Ron Martin’s grinning face on TV, extolling the achievement of overcoming Blyth Spartans on penalties. Confident of avoiding relegation, but hoping for a blockbuster tie at Football League giants Sutton United to pay for the next court date with HMRC. The true Magic Of The Cup.

Love,

Consigliere Jonny

 

[Massimo Giovanni]

@Jonny_Stokes I am sorry for your dislike of the Mediterranean elite, anger is an emotion triggered by many things. That is not so unusual.

It is a bleak picture painted of our crumbling demise into the Bananarama .

I will have to make do with a grappa hip flask when at the football wastelands of Eastliegh and Wrexham.
Ciao

MG