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heaven

  1. The Artful Shrimper

    How to spot a jap

    no doubt this is doing the rounds in e-mail cyber heaven. A manual produced from the yanks on the difference between a jap and a chink. And we though the nazis blanket judged hook-noses? How to spot a jap.
  2. DoDTS

    Season Ticket Fiasco  lessons to be learnt

    The problems that everybody seems to have this year, seem to be getting through to the club to buy your season ticket, and then confirmation from the club that it has all gone through OK. General opinion seems to be that the ticket office do their best but without sufficient staff. Presumably...

  3. NO LDV......

    Ahhh.....It's a sweet place to be! No LDV tinpot sh1te, 3rd round of the FA Cup......away matches to West Brom/Birmingham/Derby/Leicester (all close to MK!).....it is fcuking heaven!

  4. 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die

    Just heard about this book that was published late last year - some strange choices and (IMHO) some glaring ommisions. That said, I own 293 of these and have heard a further 108 giving me a respectable total of 401. To be honest, dying would be a favourable option to hearing most of the others...
    • hexagon_sun
    • Thread
    • 1955 abdullah adverts airplane alice amos ancient anto apollo arcade artists assorted barrett beastie beatles beefheart beggars bends billie birth blades blues blur bolt bowie breakers brubeck buildings cherry cohen connor coral costello cowboy crowded culture cure curtis dagmar damned daw depeche differences disposable divine dolls donald duck dury dylan elton eva evans explosion fields fighters flash fur gabriel gods greetings harlem harrison headed heaven heron hms hollywood hypocrisy inch incredible invention iron isaac jane janet jansch jimi jorge joshua jungle jurassic killers kiss lang laura league lenny linkin liquid lonely louis madman mania maria marquee mask mccartney mcqueen meat mercury metal michel milton mister mondays morrissey nails nico nile nirvana norah notorious oasis outta para parliament parsons peppers pharcyde physical pills portishead presley prima primal prodigy published radiohead raiders rees releases rises rock rolling roses roxy rubber rubén runners san sarah screaming seeds shankar sings smashing smokers solomon spiders stereo stones straits sunshine tank tapes taught teardrop teenage tito tortoise toys tracy travels travis turbo twelve unknown urban vale vauxhall venus verve vines wax wes wings wish womack youth zombies
    • Replies: 45
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  5. Matt the Shrimp

    2005 Christmas Number 1...?

    I trust that we are all bracing ourselves for the torrent of musical ordure which is set to be released upon our airwaves over the next couple of weeks... * Westlife Feat Diana Ross - When You Tell Me That You Love Me (has-beens covering an awful song) * The X Factor Winner (song title to be...
  6. KrustyTheKray

    Best Mate

    R.I.P. Best Mate I couldn't believe it when i heard the news, i shed a tear or two He was simply one of the best horses to grace the sport. He will be sadly missed. His three Cheltenham Gold Cups wins were superb. What happened at Exeter was tragic. Least he can now graze in heaven...
  7. Xàbia Shrimper

    One Hundred Albums ...

    Interesting nominations at www.jaguaro.org A few "eyebrow raisers": Nirvana - Nevermind "Yeah, yeah - I realize that this is the one that broke grunge's doors wide open and made Seattle a place to be reckoned with. Are we sure that's good? At best, Nevermind is an...
    • Xàbia Shrimper
    • Thread
    • archives ard birth california ead hasn heaven joshua music nirvana peppers politically religious remove rock second coming socks substance tattoos triumph
    • Replies: 51
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  8. Kenny

    Best Terrace Chants

    Man City (to Mourinho to the tune of La Donna E Mobile) "That coat's from Matalan" Birmingham (To the tune of Winter Wonderland) "There's only one Emile Heskey One Emile Heskey He used to be sh*te But now he's alright Walking in a Heskey wonderland&quot...
    • Kenny
    • Thread
    • bon cup diet donna heaven heres liverpool san wes
    • Replies: 3
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  9. * ORM *

    Which part of your body goes first ?

    The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?" Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands." "Why do you think it's your...
  10. Davros

    Releases over next few weeks

    February 14th Aberfeldy - Love Is An Arrow Angel City - Sunrise (Data) Atomic Kitten - Cradle Biffy Clyro - Only One Word Comes To Mind Death From Above 1979 - Blood On Our Hands DJ George J ft. Sevynn - Never Gonna Let You Go (Champion) Ed Harcourt - Loneliness Elvis Presley - Surrender...
    • Davros
    • Thread
    • bolt california cherry coloured dogg engineers flame frames heartbeat heaven joker jorge knife marking maso mason mercury models norton presley rock rubbish seeds ski skint tin tone triumph uns viva walls
    • Replies: 44
    • Forum: Homer's Bar

  11. Joke

    The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven." Arthur...
    • LITTLEMAN
    • Thread
    • cos davidson flawed fro heaven introduced invention motorcycles uns unstable
    • Replies: 0
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  12. canada shrimper

    old joke

    Zidane, Luis Figo and David Beckham are standing in Heaven before the throne of God. God looks at them and says; "And so here you are here to face your Lord and maker. I shall ask each of you a question." Addressing Zidane first he asks, "Zinedine, the world's greatest...
  13. Kent Shrimper

    Roooooooooney

    Ronaldo, Luis Figo and Wayne Rooney are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says; "before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in." Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, "what do you believe?" Ronaldo looks God in the eye and...
  14. Kent Shrimper

    Roooooooooney

    Ronaldo, Luis Figo and Wayne Rooney are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says; "before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in." Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, "what do you believe?" Ronaldo looks God in the eye and...
  15. Kent Shrimper

    Phil Parkinson

    Col Ewe boss Phil Parkinson dies and goes up to heaven. He's greeted at the gates by St Peter who allows him in but tells him that he has to go and speak to God. God watches Phil approach and says that he has some good news for him.  "You see that house over there" pointing to a rather...
  16. palexander

    Ron Atkinson = Tourrettes!

    Atko must have tourettes - I think I'm border-line tourettes as apart from being a tad strange, I swear willy-nilly (he, he - I said willy)... But fair play to big Ron... I dont normally like ripping text off of websites, but this is too good to miss. The transcript of what big Ron said...
    • palexander
    • Thread
    • awareness ead heaven identified ripping schools script voice websites
    • Replies: 7
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  17. Napster

    A feel-good news story for Xmas

    Lottery winner to get his glasses fixed A Chicago man says the first thing he does after a £3.2m lottery win will be to get his glasses mended. James Gatzke said before the win his wish was "to have Christmas dinner in Heaven" with his parents because he was so poor and depressed. Mr Gatzke...
    • Napster
    • Thread
    • begging filed fixed heaven money neighbours taxi wish
    • Replies: 8
    • Forum: Homer's Bar

  18. Fat Bastid's

    Yes folks! Christmas is almost here again so get ready for my first festive funny! Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes...
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