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heaven

  1. ldnfatso

    Clocks

    A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will...

  2. Time to splash some cash ?

    With tonight's match getting closer I think that it is time that SUFC dug deep into the "war chest" (or even the income from the Chelsea games) and purchased a new LB as a matter of urgency - the LB I am refering to is a light bulb ! For the last two home games the mens toilet in the West Stand...
  3. Thorpe Groyney

    Hamstel Road - "The Greatest Road Ever Built"

    My laddo and I were wandering out of the Kingfisher chip shop near the White Horse the other night and took a stroll down Hamstel Road to get home. He became quite animated when he noted that included by the roadside was a couple of Chinese take-aways, a kebab shop, a corner shop, an...
  4. Lavender Blue

    Question TrueBlue Question for you

    I have read a number of your posts recently, and I know you are a regular poster on here, and forgive me I do not know you and only post occasionally on here but read posts everyday. I would like to ask you what your interpretation of a True fan is. IS IT, Standing up at an away game...
  5. Rusty Shackleford

    72 Virgins

    I can understand why Muslims are so highly motivated to carry out terrorist attacks, they are promised 72 virgins when they go to heaven. A fine reward, I'm sure we'll all agree. But for those virgins... heaven isn't exactly what they expected is it? "You be a good little girl, you must always...
  6. ldnfatso

    2008's First Christmas Joke

    Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honour of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it...

  7. The Zone Christmas Raffle & Donations thread!

    This is it ............I know it is a bit early, but if you can't beat em,join em. The Owners have spent over £800 rebuilding the website these past few months ( we hope you appreciate it :) ) We are having a Mega Raffle this year at Xmas and the draw will take place on Boxing Day after the...
    • Cricko
    • Thread
    • bbq chocolate cos heaven icke ickets kay shirt sparkling spread substance tinks wish
    • Replies: 82
    • Forum: Shrimpers Chit-Chat
  8. stevie_G_G_G

    What do you lot look like?

    Do you ever read peoples posts and have visions of what they look like without actually having a clue? Pick a member you have never met, and post a piccie of how you imagine them to be. Could be interesting......... Old Blue Lady Dashman graysblue I wonder how right/wrong i...
  9. Ricey

    What is the greatest song of all time?

    I was just listening to iTunes and some golden oldies and some real classics and it made me think in your opinon what is the greatest song of all time. Obviously people have different views on music so their song will be different to others. So what is the greatest song of all time in your...
  10. Uncle Leo

    More than you could shake a stick at

    Harrow's ground only being a very short drive from home and Canvey being my home town, I popped along to Earlsmead to see Harrow Borough take on Canvey Island last night. It was manna from heaven for Ex-Shrimpers spotters: David Howell - Harrow manager Ken Charlery - Harrow assistant manager...
  11. Harold Bishop Killer

    Chat Up Lines

    All guys have been there. You are in a bar and you notice a young hotty over in the corner. You catch given you a quick glance. You look back again to make sure it wasnt the alcohol playing tricks on you. no definitely she was checking you out. Your heart races that little bit more, you begin to...
    • Harold Bishop Killer
    • Thread
    • alcohol anytime army bedroom heaven hes hotty ickle itself lover money outta package puppy screaming shirt stiffy tickle wasn wipe wish
    • Replies: 7
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  12. shrimper loz

    Hell

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus...
    • shrimper loz
    • Thread
    • assume belong birth boyle expanding faster following heaven professor proving rate shared souls washing
    • Replies: 4
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  13. Harold Bishop Killer

    Clocks of Heaven (Very Bad)

    A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will...
  14. Scottish_Shrimpers

    New Songs .... for next season!

    Not connected to friday but more general for next season to sing about: Tune: (Coming round the mountain) if you want to go to heaven when you die, you must keep the blue and white flags flying high, wear a blue scarf and a bonnet, and write f**k Col Ewe on it, if you want to go to heaven...
  15. TrueBlue

    I am in heaven

    http://www.clean-image.co.uk/steak_offer.htm
  16. Winkle

    Season Tickets?

    Am I right in saying that for those of us who have seaso's in the family enclosure with the ankle biters ,we have up to the end of this month to reniew or we lose the discount? Whats everyone doing? Talking to quite a few around me, there does not seem alot of money about at the moment and alot...
  17. Slipperduke

    The Grand Slam

    The tension that has been slowly building all week is now approaching critical mass. The clock is ticking down to Grand Slam Sunday and the mind games have begun in earnest. This is what football is all about and I love it. Mind you, I don’t support one of the big four, so I can settle back and...
    • Slipperduke
    • Thread
    • appalling brough champions cleverly devils failing fireworks folds foo hatred heaven hms league liverpool lose mis neutral occasions pace premier repeating san sports suppor support trophy vulnerable
    • Replies: 0
    • Forum: The Big Dady's General Football Forum
  18. The General

    EPT Live

    www.eptlive.com Poker heaven! :angel:
  19. Jonny_Stokes

    Apology

    Guess what for? I can assure you all that I was on a wind up with yesterday's post, and had heard it from a extremely spurious authority that it was a done deal. I understand that MTS and Cricko were interested, Uxbridge was interested, but Einstein wasn't. I am sorry for getting everyone's...
  20. Napster

    Oscars Nominations

    Performance by an actor in a leading role George Clooney in “Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.) Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) Johnny Depp in “Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by...
    • Napster
    • Thread
    • affleck alberto anderson assassination brad christopher cinema clooney disney explosions features fleet hansard heaven kerry laura maria mario maso mason mozart music nomination oscars petrov philip pigeons ronan rudi sarah screenplay searchlight sidney substitute suppor valley vince warner
    • Replies: 6
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
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