• Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.

    Existing Users:.
    Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.

    New Users:
    Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.

    Fans from other clubs
    We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.

    Assistance Required
    For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.

duck

  1. chadded

    Going on the lash in gay bars..

    Now apparantly, it's all the rage at the moment, and probably has been for a while, for women to go on the **** in gay bars, as they won't get hassled by the usual ******** men who freqent the dog and duck and always stumble home alone with a kebab on a Friday and Staurday night. In which...
  2. Ron Manager

    The Duckworth Lewis Method

    A new 'band' featuring the genius of Neil Hannon from The Divine Comedy, check out the lyrics on Jiggery Pokery, pure genius - 'Twas the first test of the Ashes series 1993. Australia had only managed 289 and we.... felt all was going to plan that first innings at Old Trafford, then Merv Hughes...
  3. Forever A Shrimper

    School Pranks

    Okay, so I leave school next week and my whole year is going to go mental. I, however, would like some really good pranks to deploy on the school and wondering whether some of the sick, twisted minds on here would lend a hand. Currently we are: - Ultragluing all the locks on the doors - Taking...
  4. Exiled Shrimper

    Vying for the number three spot

    Forget the X-Factor, Britain’s Got Talent or Strictly Come Dancing, there was only one audition to attend this weekend as three prospective England batsmen took to the crease to try and force their way back into the international reckoning. England must now long for the days when a succession...
  5. Matt the Shrimp

    Ron's Blog - 17 March 2009

    Chairman's Blog As highlighted last week, my blogs were initially for a trial period. The first was toward the end of January and this is week 7. Whilst I have spoken openly and freely about a number of topics I do not, as I have already mentioned, know whether I have answered the majority of...
  6. sufc_tom

    Rons Blog 12/3/09

    No-one seems to have put it up! So here it is... Last week I touched on the backroom staff at the Club. That is not of course the backroom staff that support the football management but what I would describe as the “engine room” of the Club. I say that because I know whilst all fans will...
  7. Ron's Blog 10-3-09

    Chairman's Blog Last week I touched on the backroom staff at the Club. That is not of course the backroom staff that support the football management but what I would describe as the “engine room” of the Club. I say that because I know whilst all fans will understand there has...
  8. Exiled Shrimper

    England tour of the West Indies

    Amidst Andy Murray's exit from the Australian Open and the continuing contest between Australia and South Africa 'Down Under', England's tour of the Windies seems to have slipped somewhat under the radar. New skipper Andrew Strauss made a second-ball duck in the first inninings of the tour...
  9. Thorpe Groyney

    That New Bird On Countdown

    She's a bit of a sort isn't she. Nice, slim, blonde, knows her stuff, and isn't full of herself. Jugs a little bit disappointing but, as Alan Partridge commented on his girlfriend's cooked full English breakfast "Overall, a very good effort, 7 on 10. Let's make love." Jeff Stelling has taken...
  10. Aberdeen Shrimper

    If the Internet did not exist???

    I was watching some crap music channel on sky tonight with the wife and stumbled across a tune…….it did not really strike a cord with me until my ears perked up to one of the lines in the song, which was something like … “What if there was no internet” Got me thinking just how much I...
  11. Ron Manager

    My Roar blog - part 2

    At the start of the A-League season I posted a blog about my experiences as a newly emigrated ‘Pom’ supporting the Queensland Roar. General commitments relating to settling into the country (getting a new job, buying a car, finding somewhere to live) has meant I haven’t made it a regular thing...
  12. bowie live at the dog and duck !!

    david bowie is playing a gig at the dog and duck next sunday afternoon. ticket sales have been very slow with only 3 sold to date. the venue which has a capacity of 40 are trying their hardest to fit DB in between the meat raffle and the bingo. bowie will be singing his forgetable hits...
  13. Sean 2

    Slighty techy stuff..

    Haven't seen this pointed out so far about the game yesterday so will try and keep it simple... Our problem yesterday in keeping that 2-0 scoreline intact came from possibly many areas that have been discussed thus far,a local derby,weather conditions,tough midweek game but it's time to turn to...
  14. Napster

    OD Week 3

    Should be an easy win today. A debut for my 17yo new wk/bat trainee. And he's already made his mark! End of Over 2: 5-2, runrate=2.50 Mirza 1-0-4-0 Baxter* 1 (3 balls) Levy 4 (7 balls) Last Wicket: Duck st. Perry b. Allan 0 (FOW: 0/2)
  15. MrB

    Similies/Metaphors

    Seen this before but still makes me chuckle. May have to try to use a few of these in every day life, especially No. 30. 1. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer 3...
  16. Breaking News Revelling in it

    Revelling In It It’s strange, scoring goals can be both the easiest and hardest things in football, ask anyone, be it Alan Shearer or my mate Dave from the Dog and Duck FC! In theory, all you are doing is passing the ball in to a 24ft space but sometimes it feels like you are threading it...
  17. Harold Bishop Killer

    Bring Back TV

    I remember the Saturdays of old (and when I mean old I mean the 90’s). Long gone are the days of Krypton Factor, You Bet, Gladiators (not these current versions!!), Noel’s House Party, Blind Date, Surprise Surprise, Beadles About and Big Break. These made Saturday nights for me as a kid. But...
  18. DTS

    Have you ever own/worn a "comedy" cartoon tie?

    Sat on the train today I had some right nobber opposite me. Bloke clearly thinking he is the mutts nuts sitting there in a waistcoat (1970s) and had a pocket watch - What a ****. It was hot on the train as the heating was on the Chernyobl setting so even I was hot. Anyway the bloke opposite...
  19. Bluetonic

    Vegetarians

    My college are running a £50 competition for the best article for the college magazine. Whilst bored, I emailed them asking for a subject to write about - they replied with an article about 'Veggie Vision', and vegetarianism in general. Here's my effort I've just sent off, safe in the knowledge...
  20. Slipperduke

    Arsenal rue missed chances

    How can two goalless draws be so different? Chelsea’s blank with Olympiakos on Wednesday morning was so desperately dull that it could have come straight from Dante’s sixth circle. This, though, was so different. Still no goals to write about, but it was never anything less than pulsating. Only...
Back
Top