Things that annoy you

[loz]

another vote for people who block doors on public transport, and people who don't understand the Tube in general (especially the English ones!)

Car drivers who think it's ok to overtake a cyclist just before turning left at a junction, generally without bothering even to indicate.

London's high quantity of maniac bus drivers.

Jeremy Clarkson.

Ridiculously middle-class people who expect everything to be handed to them on a plate.

'mmmm, Danone'

the 'anything without guitars is sh!t' brigade

ignorant racist/homophobic losers who are afraid of anybody a bit different.

5p pieces.

Microsoft.

Basildon/Pitsea etc, mainly due to my experiences of the absolutely charming and not at all scummy teenagers who board the trains at such points, ****ed out of their heads on a shared can of Stella.

Stella.

The Blue Belles always facing the East Stand. it's a question of principle.

people who think FIFA is better than Pro Evo.

wasps.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (OneDreweBroughton @ Sep. 21 2006,00:24)]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Sep. 20 2006,18:05)]There are even gay animals...

There are?

I thought that was South Park taking the ****.  

There are!

Seattle Times: Animals exhibit 'gay' behavior

Newsweek: An Unusual Love Story

 

[southendstrett]

Here we go,

My noisy, reggae loving neighbours.

Reggae,

Miserable old gits at the Hall that criticise anything and everyone. This pies cold, that stewards a tw&t blah blah..... If they don't like it then why waste £20.

The women with clipboards outside the Royals, 'have you got a minute Sir?'.. yes I have actually but I'd rather spend it w%&king off with Edward
Scissorhands old gloves than answer your surveys.

Reality T.V. (popular one this, isn't it?)

Tailgaters.

Button fly jeans, I've got a bladder the size of a walnut, just not practical when out on the ****.

Me, when I'm ****ed.

The moronic anti-sales people in Sports and Soccerworld stores up and down the country. Do they recruit from Scope or something?

Over zealous charity collectors.

Howard from the Halifax.

Missing games because I got in from work late, then we score a hatfull in the second half.

My Mother in law, who talks r e a l l y s l o w , about crap in a monotonal drone and starts every sentence with 'that's like', and invariably it's nothing like what anyone was discussing.

The swampies at Camp Bling.

Spending 10 minutes replying to a post only to find out I forgot to log in.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (loz @ Sep. 21 2006,10:10)]another vote for people who block doors on public transport, and people who don't understand the Tube in general (especially the English ones!)

Car drivers who think it's ok to overtake a cyclist just before turning left at a junction, generally without bothering even to indicate.

London's high quantity of maniac bus drivers.

ignorant racist/homophobic losers who are afraid of anybody a bit different.

5p pieces.

Stella.

wasps

Good calls with all of these.

Can I add:

*People who walk slowly at rush hour. It's called rush hour for a reason, dammit!

*Oxford Street, W1. It is horrid, truly horrid.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (southendstrett @ Sep. 21 2006,10:43)]Howard from the Halifax

Best call of the lot, that one. My God, he needs a dry slap and then some.

 

[canveyshrimper]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Sep. 21 2006,10:45)]

Quote[/b] (southendstrett @ Sep. 21 2006,10:43)]Howard from the Halifax

 

 

Best call of the lot, that one.  My God, he needs a dry slap and then some.

Agreed that is the best one of the lot.

I also forgot the Australian Interrogative.

 

[South Bank Hank]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Sep. 21 2006,10:45)]

Quote[/b] (southendstrett @ Sep. 21 2006,10:43)]Howard from the Halifax

 

 

Best call of the lot, that one.  My God, he needs a dry slap and then some.

Bizarre I tell you! Truly bizarre!!!

Not less than 30 minutes ago, I was sitting in an outside cafe in Windsor eating lunch with a client when "the other guy" from the Halifax adverts bounced by bedecked in his fine Halifax uniform. Big, brown fella... "we'll give you extra..."

I always thought he looked a tw&t butching it up and striking his oh-so-tough-guy pose in the advert, but the advert sums him up perfectly. You know the type arms not moving as he walks, with elbows out 'cos his muscles are just SOOOO big!!

I've added him to my list.

 

[gbshrimper]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Sep. 21 2006,10:43)]*People who walk slowly at rush hour.  It's called rush hour for a reason, dammit!

*Oxford Street, W1.  It is horrid, truly horrid.

Quite agree - annoyed me so much I moved to Norfolk!

 

[loz]

Quote[/b] (gbshrimper @ Sep. 21 2006,13:53)]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Sep. 21 2006,10:43)]*People who walk slowly at rush hour. It's called rush hour for a reason, dammit!

*Oxford Street, W1. It is horrid, truly horrid.

Quite agree - annoyed me so much I moved to Norfolk!

I tend to walk in the side of the road now and take my chances with the buses and taxis. it's markedly less stressful.

also...

endless streams of TV shows about people buying second homes abroad.

Pete Doherty.

ex's.

The Stone Roses (most over-rated band in the history of everything).

celery- just the smell of it makes me feel ill.

rubbish vegetarian options in restaurants.

Shoreditch.

train stations that shut some of their entrances before the last train has left (i'm looking at you, London Bridge).

people at my old school who thought they were the bollox because they lived in Thorpe Bay?

tall people at gigs.

loud people at quiet gigs.

basically, anyone at gigs other than me and the band.

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

Tim Westwood

Chuggers

Cheggers

Politicians that aren't Boris Johnson

Football hooligans

text Spk

People writing "here, here" when they actually mean "hear, hear".

Religion in principle

Religion in practice

Racism

Thatcher

Basketball

People that are walking and then just stop for no apparent reason

People that have bonfires on hot sunny afternoons

Tourists that don't learn some basic words in the language of the country they're visiting

Roy Keane

John Motson

Armchair Pr£mi£r$hit£ fans asking whether I saw their game at 12:15 on a Saturday whilst I was on my way to Carlisle/Oldham/Torquay

Large hoop earrings

My work colleagues

Loose hairs on the back of people's clothes (actually, that's more of an OCD

)

John Mackie

Dreary MOR music

Rain

Dogs (canis canis)

Dogs (fattus wearingshortskirtus)

Happy-clappy football fans

Daddy longlegs

People on public transport that clearly haven't showered that morning

Cider

Reality TV 'stars'

Little Englanders

My fantasy league players getting injured (Berbatov, Given, Bullard...)

Paris Hilton

Lost making less and less sense as the writers try and string out another series

WAGs

Fat Steve Evans

 

[Hong Kong Blue]

Quote[/b] (Jonny_Stokes @ Sep. 21 2006,14:12)]People writing "here, here" when they actually mean "hear, hear".

I'm glad you mentioned that. I've always refrained from using that expression as I've never known which was the correct spelling and its not the type of thing you can look up in the dictionary.

 

[Bluesmanager]

Hard luck JS, they've got "material" to make nine series.

 

[Desert Shrimper]

Traffic Wardens (I'd rather sweep up sh!t)
Ignorant racists
Burberry clad knuckle dragging chavs making us ashamed to be British
Hoxton/Shoreditch
Pretentious scarf wearing coked up advertising types in Soho
The entire recruitment industry
Armchair supporters of bigger clubs that patronise genuine SUFC fans
Geri Halliwell (somebody take this bitch out)
Grimsby
The British Nazi Party and it's membership. We fought WWII for a reason and it wasn't for more facism
Airhead reality TV dickheads thinking they're "A" List
Relgious people looking down on people who don't hold their views. It's like believing in Humpty Dumpty....and then worshipping him.
Thameslink/Silverlink trains that feel like the roof would be more comfortable.
Loud bullsh!t phonecalls on trains. You can tell your mum all about your day in the office when you get home love....

 

[Napster]

Quote[/b] (The Bloke In The Pram Shop @ Sep. 21 2006,14:40)]Traffic Wardens (I'd rather sweep up sh!t)
Ignorant racists
Burberry clad knuckle dragging chavs making us ashamed to be British
Hoxton/Shoreditch
Pretentious scarf wearing coked up advertising types in Soho
The entire recruitment industry
Armchair supporters of bigger clubs that patronise genuine SUFC fans
Geri Halliwell (somebody take this bitch out)
Grimsby
The British Nazi Party and it's membership. We fought WWII for a reason and it wasn't for more facism
Airhead reality TV dickheads thinking they're "A" List
Relgious people looking down on people who don't hold their views. It's like believing in Humpty Dumpty....and then worshipping him.
Thameslink/Silverlink trains that feel like the roof would be more comfortable.
Loud bullsh!t phonecalls on trains. You can tell your mum all about your day in the office when you get home love....

That's more like mine

 

[C C Csiders]

Ventriloquists and their dummies

Old people at cashpoint machines

Last Night of the Proms

Basketball

Tea and all tea related paraphernalia

Bingo

Astrology

Esizeffem (I think that's what it is called, its a radio station on 96.3 and 102.6 FM)

Christmas Carols

Religion

Chavs walking their bulldogs (pitbull or Staffordshire) without a lead

People who do not flush the khazi after they have dumped

Diarrhoea

Baked Beans and their juice (although this is more a phobia than hatred)

Spaghetti Hoops

The word 'super'

Dictionary corner on "Countdown"

Slack marking at corners

Flying, and the fact that the place you arrive in order to fly is called a "TERMINAL"

Genesis

Meat

Last of the Summer Wine

Hello magazine and its off-shoots

Anything other than purple-sprouting broccoli in bubble and squeak

Country Music

Teletubbies

Scrappy-Doo

 

[Napster]

Quote[/b] (C C Csiders @ Sep. 21 2006,14:54)]Last Night of the Proms
Tea and all tea related paraphernalia
Dictionary corner on "Countdown"
Meat

Sacrilege!

Last week, while watching the Last Night, I had a cuppa, thinking of what meat to eat and thinking rude things about Suzy Dent*

*Half of which was true

 

[Slipperduke]

Men called 'Jez' who wear scarfs indoors and have mobile phones that look like old style Gameboys.

Premiership fans who believe that nothing else in football matters apart from their own club's gradual accumulation of wealth and resources.

Leeds United. I sincerely hope that their misery continues and their sub-human fans are locked into perpetually spending half their salaries on awful football.

Over-grieving. Being upset about the death of a celebrity is fine. I was very sad when John Peel died and we had a little bit of a wake for him in the pub after work. Fine, not a problem. Sleeping out on the streets to 'pay your respects' to some recently snuffed out Royal is just stupid. You didn't know them, they didn't know you. Leave their family in peace.

Invoices. Hate writing them, hate sending them, hate chasing them, hate vainly trying to match up remittence advice with them six months later.

Mittens. Rubbish.

Crap marketing decisions. I liked running my fingernail down the silverfoil of a Kitkat. Why change it? Lunacy.

Discovering that the milk is off, after you've poured it over your breakfast or in your coffee.

sh!t football results that screw up a perfectly good accumulator. Tottenham Hotspur, you were supposed to beat Fulham comfortably. Lillywhite rubbish.

People who get into ethnic things just to show-off. Middle-class trustafarians spending all their money on Kapo-wherera, the Brazilian art of dancing like Morph.

Girls who wear tiny tops and then complain if your eyes are drawn to their cleavage. Don't want me to look at your waps? Don't go out in your underwear then, sweetheart.

Really fat girls who wear really small clothes. You look like Jan Molby in drag, stop it.

Men who don't like football. How did they....when do they... I just don't get it. What's not to like?

Hangovers that hang around. Alright, I drank too much wine last night. I'm sorry. Stop punishing me.

Phantom poos. I've been needing to go for ages, I've smuggled a copy of Zoo into the office toilet. I'm ready. Where are you,, Mr Brown?

Tottenham fans who insist that their latest signing will make them title contenders. For Berbatov, see Rebrov, see Iversen, see Armstrong, see Falco, see infinitum. You're average. Accept it.

Everybody wanting to be famous. I blame celebrities who say, "I'm proof that anyone can make it, they just have to want it enough," when they mean, "I'm proof that giving a good blow job is still enough to propel you through this industry." Stop entering singing competitions, Leanne the hairdresser from Bromsgrove. You're as untalented as you are ugly. Accept your mediocrity with grace.

Politicians. Why lie? Why? I used to care, I used to want things to change. Your lies have blunted my desire. My cynicism is because of you.

Noisy cats at 3am. Stop bloody singing, you sound like Leanne the hairdresser from Bromsgrove.

Phil Stamp. Ginger plonker.

People who forget to put sugar in my tea.

 

[Napster]

Quote[/b] (Slipperduke @ Sep. 21 2006,15:58)]Men called 'Jez' who wear scarfs indoors and have mobile phones that look like old style Gameboys.

That sounds very specific!

 

[Lucas D]

Quote[/b] (Hong Kong Blue @ Sep. 19 2006,14:43)]On the commuting front, death is too good for the following:

- idiots who stand on the wrong side of the escalators
- idiots with those annoying suitcases on wheels
- idiots who in their eagerness to get on the tube won't let anyone off

The sooner a punitive congestion charge is introduced to stop these fools the better. I would suggest £1,000 a day should be a minimum and they should count theirselves lucky that there isn't capital punishment in this country, as if there was they would be first ones to get a seat for sure.

Vote for me and I'll guarantee that these culprits will be in front of the firing squad the very next day.

 

[Slipperduke]

Quote[/b] (Napster @ Sep. 21 2006,16:01)]

Quote[/b] (Slipperduke @ Sep. 21 2006,15:58)]Men called 'Jez' who wear scarfs indoors and have mobile phones that look like old style Gameboys.

That sounds very specific!

You know the type!