my second question to those against smacking,
your child has refused to tidy up their mess ie toys/crumbs/paints ect you have asked them several times and zilch,whats your next move?
Ok, that's quite an easy one and isn't one of those cases where I would consider a smack appropriate. Depends on the age but the principle is the same, Super Nanny does deal with this for younger children and you just move it on a stage for the older ones, as my daughter is about to find out.
If young, confiscate toys - simple - they don't get them back until they have earned them, a piece at a time if necessary. Limit toy usage to a smaller number of choices which will help this not to be a problem. Make clearing up part of the whole activity, do it with them so that they learn from your example that clearing up is necessary before moving onto a new activity. Not sure I'd expect them to clear up "crumbs". Role model always, and praise when they do things - yes positive parenting does have its place.
If older, tell teens clearly that if things are not removed/cleared up they will be put in a large box in the garage/shed or somewhere equally inconvenient. Give them clear "final" warning that this will happpen.
Big box of daughter's "stuff" that has graced the lounge floor for last fortnight has spent a cold night in garage - let's see what she needs for school this morning!
Remove the one child, take him to a room where there is no stimulation apart from his school books and isolate him. Rooms that have been painted in dark, neutral colours have been found to pacify troublemakers.
Instead of punishing, why not a system of reward where when the child behaves they are allowed a treat at the end of the week? They play up, reward is removed.
This one child still needs to be supervised, so you are then expecting a member of staff to make themselves vulnerable - and don't forget in senior school, the types of students who do this kind of thing are fully au fait with all those things like allegations of abuse and just what their "rights" are. This will also usually be someone like me, a TA, paid relatively low money to those whose job it is to instil discipline in schools. Theory is fine, but practice is not easy.
Rewards are fine at younger age, we have "Golden Time" for about an hour every Friday afternoon, which can be a choice of one of 3 activities, which they earn the right to. If they have dropped down the sanctions board they can miss anything from 2 to 15 minutes of this. Don't agree with it at senior school though, although don't have a problem with a "merit" or house point system. Why should a child who is persistently badly behaved be rewarded for a day/week of good behaviour when there are probably loads of students in their form who are well behaved all the time, yet receive no recognition of this?
well you haven't! I think I've raised a number of serious questions so why not reply? I'm not baiting you or winding you up, this is a serious debate where we both have strong opposing views
:)
I am trying desperately hard to refrain from responding to you as you well know, I am supposed to be ignoring you. However, you consistently are pressing me for a response in this thread yet I fail to see what I have not covered in one of my numerous posts on this subject. I am strongly in favour of corporal punishment being used in schools as a major deterrent, not for every day use. Let me add here, that when I was at Westcliff, no-one I ever knew personally was "slippered" (cane in the Boys' school only) but there were cases of girls who were from other year groups. It was the knowledge that it
could be done that was sufficient to keep us in line, that and the fact that we were disciplined far more severely at home if we did get in trouble at school.
Now if there is anything you want answering more specifically then please let me know.
