Sheep Jokes

[The Eternal Optimist]

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer.
'So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?' 'Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.'
'That's very interesting,' replies the researcher and he leaves the Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer.
'So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your sheep?'
'Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.'
'That's very interesting,' replies the researcher. 'That's how they do it in Cornwall too.' And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets a farmer from Wales.
'So, North Essex farmer, how do you shag your sheep?'
'Well, I do it lying up aginst a wall.'
'Against a wall?' replies the researcher. 'Don't you put their legs down your wellies like everyone else?'
'What?' says the farmer. 'And miss out on all the kissing?!'

 

[Guest]

Build a bonfire Build a bonfire
Put the shrimpers on the top
Put the chairboys in the middle
And we'll burn the f****** lot

 

[BluePartridge]

Quote[/b] (Guest @ Aug. 30 2004,10:24)]Build a bonfire Build a bonfire
Put the shrimpers on the top
Put the chairboys in the middle
And we'll burn the f****** lot

Oh how original, and yet how scary.

 

[Guest]

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer.
'So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?' 'Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.'
'That's very interesting,' replies the researcher and he leaves the Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer.
'So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your sheep?'
'Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.'
'That's very interesting,' replies the researcher. 'That's how they do it in Cornwall too.' And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets a farmer from Wales.
'So, West Essex farmer, how do you shag your sheep?'
'Well, I do it lying up aginst a wall.'
'Against a wall?' replies the researcher. 'Don't you put their legs down your wellies like everyone else?'
'What?' says the farmer. 'And miss out on all the kissing?!'
oh how original and so funny.

 

[Sandbach Shrimper]

Quote[/b] (Guest @ Aug. 30 2004,10:24)]Build a bonfire Build a bonfire
Put the shrimpers on the top
Put the chairboys in the middle
And we'll burn the f****** lot

Very clever, well done.

 

[Guest]

COME ON MACCLESFIELD!!!!

 

[Guest]

Nice joke Pikey... but if its to be a Colchester joke it would have been better to ask a farmer from north east Essex..

NEMISIS : A rightous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent , or in this case 11 men in ble & white stripes.

a 6 - 0 victory for the mighty U`s against you lot and Tilson out by Christmas (You heard it here first folks)

 

[Guest]

yeah we are not west essex, we are north essex.

 

[Shrimper JK]

Quote[/b] (Guest @ Aug. 30 2004,15:31)]COME ON MACCLESFIELD!!!!  

2-1!!!  

How did you pr*cks get on today? Oh lost 2-1 hahahahahahahha

 

[Guest]

where are we in the table?? 2nd
where are you in YOUR league? 20 th

first win of the season well done!!

 

[Shrimper JK]

Quote[/b] (Guest @ Aug. 30 2004,18:58)]where are we in the table?? 2nd
where are you in YOUR league?  20 th

first win of the season well done!!  

Thank you! Are you pr*cks going to be on here all the way to the game or will you all just clear off and leave when you realise you are making yourself look a total f**kin tw*t? You stick to your board (if you've got one

) and we'll stick to ours. Now f**k off

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Guest @ Aug. 30 2004,18:14)]NEMISIS : A rightous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent , or in this case 11 men in ble & white stripes.

Bloody hell... they really do speak a different language in Scumland, replete with bizarrely spelt words.

Nemisis? Rightous? Get a fcuking dictionary, you sheep-bothering, sister-shagging in-bred!

When I was a little boy, my grandmother gave me a brand new toy:
A Col Ewe fan on a piece of string, and she told me to...

 

[Shagster69]

If you all went to Cardiff clap your hands!

 

[overseas shrimper]

Quote[/b] (Guest @ Aug. 30 2004,19:14)]NEMISIS : A rightous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent , or in this case 11 men in ble & white stripes.

As already pointed out, your spelling is very poor, but the biggest error is the way you spell the word 'infection' incorrectly.

What do men (if banjo playing inbreds can be described as such) look like in ble and white stripes? What are ble and white stripes for Christ sake?

Still, I suppose the art of the written word is hardly of any use up there in Col Ewe land... sheep can't read love letters, eh!

 

[tr0ublegum]

Quote[/b] ]As already pointed out, your spelling is very poor, but the biggest error is the way you spell the word 'infection' incorrectly.

What do men (if banjo playing inbreds can be described as such) look like in ble and white stripes? What are ble and white stripes for Christ sake?

Still, I suppose the art of

I hate to be pedantic (well no I don't really) but surely a man of your apparent literary prowess knows that 'infliction' is a better word in that context?

I think it is you who needs the dictionary.

 

[overseas shrimper]

Quote[/b] (tr0ublegum @ Aug. 31 2004,14:59)]

Quote[/b] ]As already pointed out, your spelling is very poor, but the biggest error is the way you spell the word 'infection' incorrectly.

What do men (if banjo playing inbreds can be described as such) look like in ble and white stripes? What are ble and white stripes for Christ sake?

Still, I suppose the art of

I hate to be pedantic (well no I don't really) but surely a man of your apparent literary prowess knows that 'infliction' is a better word in that context?

I think it is you who needs the dictionary.

How dare you accuse me of literary prowess. If I was in the possession of such a thing, I'd turn my hand to penning novels. It is common knowledge that if one wishes to write, but cannot, one should become a screenwriter!

For what it's worth, I view Colchester as a rather puss-filled, pestilential, gangrenous growth on the Essex landscape.

I thus defend my stance and warn you, dear boy, to mind your pedantry.

Or to put it another way: your infliction is my infection. or is it the other way round?

Hhhhhmmmm...

 

[Technician]

Blimey OS... take a chill-pill! can't you see a wind-up at twenty paces?

You ought to watch you don't "blow a gasket!", you know it takes a fortnight to get a replacement to where you are!!!

 

[overseas shrimper]

Quote[/b] (Technician @ Aug. 31 2004,15:26)]Blimey OS... take a chill-pill! can't you see a wind-up at twenty paces?

You ought to watch you don't "blow a gasket!", you know it takes a fortnight to get a replacement to where you are!!!

I know it was a wind up... and I was 'aving a larf back!

I point to YOU, Mr. Technical, as the one who doesn't know light hearted banter when he reads it!

 

[overseas shrimper]

Quote[/b] (Technician @ Aug. 31 2004,15:26)]You ought to watch you don't "blow a gasket!", you know it takes a fortnight to get a replacement to where you are!!!

I wish it were that quick!

Having said that, certain football shirts in Blighty take forever... so there!

Disclaimer: This email is intended to be light hearted in nature, and those silly enough to read it as a serious retort are, indeed, silly by nature!

 

[Technician]

Quote[/b] (overseas shrimper @ Aug. 31 2004,13:28)]

Quote[/b] (Technician @ Aug. 31 2004,15:26)]Blimey OS... take a chill-pill! can't you see a wind-up at twenty paces?

You ought to watch you don't "blow a gasket!", you know it takes a fortnight to get a replacement to where you are!!!  

I know it was a wind up... and I was 'aving a larf back!

I point to YOU, Mr. Technical, as the one who doesn't know light hearted banter when he reads it!

Good show "old bean!"

Just worried that the veins were bulging a bit there for a minute!

toodle-pip!