Wembley. A day out it will be and a bloody great one at that.
But that is all it is, a day.
As someone who has hardly been this season, I was hoping for promotion to help me get the buzz back fresh for next season. We have blown that.
I want to look forward to going every week. But I am afraid another season in League 2 will dampen the little enthusiasm I have left. I am sure I am not alone in that sense.
Do I want to feel this way?...Christ no. This is my club that I have followed all over the country for 25+ years. Time and commitments have not allowed me to attend as many away games in the last few years, as I would of liked, up until this season. But, this season I am ashamed to say I have not attended as much, more out of choice than anything else.
I am not happy with anything at my club. From top to bottom. I want change, a fresh start and a new lease of life. We are going nowhere fast. I feel like my club is dying a slow death. You try and put on a brave face, but you know its all academic in the end. My energy has been sapped, my love is still there, but I cannot bring it to the surface at the moment.
Yes I know as a "Supporter" I should be there whatever and I have been up until this season. I know that. But I cannot get that buzz back. I have tried believe me and Wembley will help. But I know that this is just a fairytale sideshow to what has been another horror story of a season.
As a Southend fan, perhaps we have no right to expect football on a regular basis, at a higher level. But christ, that does not mean we should just sit back and accept it. Does it?
I want to see us run out against better sides, in better stadiums on a weekly basis. Something to keep the interest up. And I was hoping we would achieve that this year. Is that me being selfish?
The bread and butter is the league. We needed to get out of the basement this season. We haven't. That for me means this season is a complete failure. I am sure Ronald would agree. My fear now is how the hell are we going to survive through the summer?....Season card take ups will no doubt be at their lowest level for many years. Will the better players leave?...Will we have another manager?
Everything points to another summer of complete and utter turmoil. No money, court appearances, embargo's, high player turnover and a new manager coming in having to work a miracle under even more abysmal conditions. It is like ****ing groundhog day and I am sick of it. Things need to change and quickly. But who the bloody hell is going to wave the magic wand?...nobody. That is the most depressing thing about it. We are stuck in a massive rut of complete crapness, with no way out, or no hope for the forseeable. And that is why I feel completely and utterly helpless.
The town has United for a cup final, no surprises there. But it clearly does not give a flying **** about it on a weekly basis. That is the problem and that is why a complete change is needed. Failure to do so and we will rot in the basement for many years to come.
What is the answer?...god knows. But I know this club needs change. Starting at the top. The town and the majority of the regular supporters, have total zero confidence in the board. That is a fact. Until that changes, we will continue on this merry-go-round of failed potential. The time has come for the board to be honest with themselves and admit failure. They do not have the means and perhaps the passion to drive us forward anymore. New owners, fresh investment and a renewed energy is required. But again, where the frig is it coming from?
It's all bloody dead ends, that is my whole point. No way out. And that is the single most sad thing for me.
To any member of the board reading this. Do the right thing and seek a way out of this hell hole. Not only for the fans, but for yourselves.
