If you could un-invent one county in the UK.

[EastStandBlue]

I fail to see the point of Wessex, but I'll have to follow the general consensus and have a combined vote for The Midlands and Yorkshire.

The Midlands. Now if their ever was a black hole in England, this'll be it. An absolute void of nothingness containing nothing more than Trees, Power Stations, Hills and Meaningless Citys like Leicester and Coventry.

This, however, pales in comparison to the Scum Hole that is Yorkshire. Whether it's North, South, West or East Yorkshire, There's a **** hole to be found. Bradford, Barnsley, Sheffield, Doncaster, Hull and... of course... Leeds; the premium of ****. Enter any pub, large or small, in this place and you'll find at least 1 Pig Ignorant Yorkshire ******* who will tell you theres "no beating Yorkshire" and everything within its borders.

Prisons are Over-Filling? No problem, Send them all to Yorkshire... It's a punishment for the convicts, but nobody else will be able to spot the difference.

No wonder there are so many Immigrants placed up there, I can't think of a better place to house them in order to scare them out of the country.

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

Err... I live there... JK Rowling and JRR Tolkien have both lived in the midlands at some stage... Do you really want Wales stuck onto the west side of London?

The Wales problem could be easily solved by flooding the midlands, and effectively casting Wales adrift. This considerably strengthens the argument against the midlands.

If the midlands' entire justification is based on a crap author and a dead author having once lived there for a few years, I think its on dodgy ground.

 

[Cheltenham Shrimper]

I like the north personally. I like going to Newcastle and being told by a fat bird..

''Shut up of I'll smash your face in.''

No, seriously I do, it was the comic moment of the year so far for me, considering the only action she was going to get with with a 6 ft inflatable doll, and I had the Travelodge to look forward to.

Generally speaking though Northern people are far friendlier than Southerners. I'd get rid of the whle of South- West England if I could, after I've sorted out Jockland.

Could it be possible to re-build Hadrian's Wall several metres high or build a massive and very deep moat so that Scotland drifts into the Atlantic?! That was a suggestion from a mate of mine.

 

[Bluesmanager]

The Wales problem could be easily solved by flooding the midlands, and effectively casting Wales adrift. This considerably strengthens the argument against the midlands.

If the midlands' entire justification is based on a crap author and a dead author having once lived there for a few years, I think its on dodgy ground.

OK then - Take out the midlands and you lose Freddy's marvelous hattrick at City last season.*

*Admittedly you also lose defeats to Leeds, Derby, Leicester and countless others, but still...

 

[canveyshrimper]

As a place Immingham, if anyone thinks Grimsby is a rat hole then try Immingham.

NE Lincs as a county should be erased from the map.

 

[BluePartridge]

Err... I live there... JK Rowling and JRR Tolkien have both lived in the midlands at some stage...

Shakespeare. They'd both be nothing without him.

I fail to see the point of Wessex,

Is that even a county now? Is Middlesex a county anymore? I think the point of Wessex was to defend us Saxons against the Vikings and unite a nation under one king. Also they act as a counterbalance, if we are to be the East Saxons then we need West Saxons.

Personally I'd let Somerset go or Dorset, they get in the way of travelling West.

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

Shakespeare. They'd both be nothing without him.

Shakespeare was a popular plagiarist playwright. One thing he definitely shares with Rowling is that both are vastly overrated.

IMHO Shakespeare was merely the Barbara Cartland of his generation.

 

[Birri]

Before I moved to Kent I would have agreed with Firestorm but I am with Naps most people think of Margate/Dartford/Chatham/Gillingham when they think of kent but then Essex has Basildon/Harlow/Colchester/Romford so its pretty even stevens. My vote is Surrey full of complete CNTS who support Manure/chelski who have more money then sense and think they are better then everyone else.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

It has to be Staffordshire. This truly is the armpit - perhaps even the seamy groin - of the West Midlands, itself a grim area, as Slipper has rightly pointed out.

Staffordshire is not nothern enough to enjoy the cachet earned through inverse snobbery of other grim northern towns. It is not western enough to enjoy the lush rolling scenery of the Marches, nor eastern enough to enjoy the splendid wilderness of the Peak District. And it is certainly not Southern enough to be affluent or interesting.

Instead, it is filled with nasty towns full of chippy individuals in places like Cannock, Wolverhampton and Stoke - in short, a sh*thole. And the M6 is at its worst in Staffordshire... it is a large carpark masquerading as a major motorway. I always grind to a halt when driving in Staffordshire.

In fact, get rid of Staffordshire and you get rid of Stoke City - a club whose fans frequently vie for the "biggest scumbags in the country" title - as well as Port Vale, who always seem to beat us. And in a "three-for-two" deal, that means you get rid of the fat dancer from Take That as well.

There are only two good things ever to come out of Staffordshire: Stan Collymore and Phil "The Power" Taylor. Re-assign the former to Birmingham and the latter to Derbyshire, then build a 8' high wall around the whole county and fill it with water. Job's a good'un.

That would be my choice.

Matt

 

[Benfleet A1]

I'd get rid of Cornwall. Full of either nouveau riche second-home owners, tossers on holiday or surfers

My fathers side are from Cornwall, Falmouth to be precise. Cornwall has a rugged beauty, clean fresh air, fantastic coastline and, if your in the know, great nightlife. Cornwall stays buster.

 

[canveyshrimper]

My fathers side are from Cornwall, Falmouth to be precise. Cornwall has a rugged beauty, clean fresh air, fantastic coastline and, if your in the know, great nightlife. Cornwall stays buster.

Bloody hell, Judith Chalmers posts on here.:D