A Southend XI you just didnt like.

[Yorkshire Blue]

Flahavan - the way people creamed themselves over his spectacular yet ultimately routine (for a normal sized keeper) saves use to make me feel nauseous. Awful decision-maker: the best decision he made whilst at Roots Hall was to leave and take the money to play for Palace Reserves.
Andy Harris - narrowly beats out Mark Hone on the basis of his reliability (to give away a penalty).
Keith Dublin - if you get bored, there's a game you can play. Get hold of a highlights (sic) video/DVD of any season Dubbers played for us and try and find a goal we concede (there are plenty to choose from: with him in the side we averaged conceding about 90 goals per season) where he wasn't at fault, caught out of position and pointing at where he should have been.
Peter Clarke - we're about £4m in debt and about a quarter of that can be attributed to Peter Clarke. Much like many of the goals we conceded during his three years at the club. Positionally poor, awful distribution, conceded way too many free-kicks which he compounded by being poor at then defending them. Fortunately he was whole-hearted with his last ditch tackling, so apparently we can forgive him all that.
Mark Warren - ex-Col Ewe and Orient, couldn't run, couldn't jump (an issue for a centre-half who was only six foot tall) yet despite all this was worshipped for some reason I couldn't fathom. Did though score that goal at Swansea, although WTF he was doing up front when we were down to 8 men and defending a lead remains a mystery.
Derek Payne - bitch-slapping David Speedie was the only decent thing he ever did
Rio Alderton - the name Rio might suggest Copacabana but he was definitely Hackney Marshes. The worst professional footballer I have ever seen and there's been some stiff competition.
George Parris - ex-Hamster, way, way, way, waaaaaaay past his best (which I don't think was all that good in the first place). Only signed because he was mates with Alvin ****ing Martin. On the positive side would feature alongside Peter Reid in midfield in any Monkey XI.
Brett Darby - I've still to hear a satisfactory answer to the question why.
Drewe Broughton - Worshipped because he wore wrist-bands (presumably to try and distract the ref from his elbows), Donkey Broughton spent more time wrestling opposing centre-halves and conceding free-kicks than doing anything useful. His biggest contribution was getting sent off against Col Ewe in the LDV semis, because we were a far, far better team without him in it. Shockingly dire. His performance against (IIRC) Bristol Rovers was the worst individual display I've ever seen. When he stepped up to take a penalty, not one person in the ground thought he'd score and he didn't disappoint when he promptly put it wide. Amazingly for a forward, I saw him score in a Southend shirt as many times against us, then for us.
Steve McGavin - shockingly poor. A horrendous miss nearly cost us our league status - something that was even harder to bear when you consider he is a Col Ewe legend.

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

Quiet shocked you have Drewenaldo in there. One of the nicest guys I have ever met.

Agree totally. I'd have him up front in my all-time XI with Mother Teresa.

Agree with all but Stevie Hammell? What could you not like about him?

His defending?

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

Prudhoe

Mcsweeney
Harris
Morley
Bressington
Dublin

Beard
Gridelet
Houghton

Boere
Foran

Manager: Whelan

Thats a mixture of those I didn't like because they were useless and those that had a bad attitude.
Harris was a lovely bloke but attrocious and Boere wasn't a bad player but had a shocking attitude.
Surprised no one had mentioned Gridelet before. He combined having no ability with just swanning around as if he should have been on the catwalk.

Like your choice of the awful 5-3-2 formation.

I should have gone for this rather than 4-4-2.

 

[leeblue]

Flahavan - the way people creamed themselves over his spectacular yet ultimately routine (for a normal sized keeper) saves use to make me feel nauseous. Awful decision-maker: the best decision he made whilst at Roots Hall was to leave and take the money to play for Palace Reserves.
Andy Harris - narrowly beats out Mark Hone on the basis of his reliability (to give away a penalty).
Keith Dublin - if you get bored, there's a game you can play. Get hold of a highlights (sic) video/DVD of any season Dubbers played for us and try and find a goal we concede (there are plenty to choose from: with him in the side we averaged conceding about 90 goals per season) where he wasn't at fault, caught out of position and pointing at where he should have been.
Peter Clarke - we're about £4m in debt and about a quarter of that can be attributed to Peter Clarke. Much like many of the goals we conceded during his three years at the club. Positionally poor, awful distribution, conceded way too many free-kicks which he compounded by being poor at then defending them. Fortunately he was whole-hearted with his last ditch tackling, so apparently we can forgive him all that.
Mark Warren - ex-Col Ewe and Orient, couldn't run, couldn't jump (an issue for a centre-half who was only six foot tall) yet despite all this was worshipped for some reason I couldn't fathom. Did though score that goal at Swansea, although WTF he was doing up front when we were down to 8 men and defending a lead remains a mystery.
Derek Payne - bitch-slapping David Speedie was the only decent thing he ever did
Rio Alderton - the name Rio might suggest Copacabana but he was definitely Hackney Marshes. The worst professional footballer I have ever seen and there's been some stiff competition.
George Parris - ex-Hamster, way, way, way, waaaaaaay past his best (which I don't think was all that good in the first place). Only signed because he was mates with Alvin ****ing Martin. On the positive side would feature alongside Peter Reid in midfield in any Monkey XI.
Brett Darby - I've still to hear a satisfactory answer to the question why.
Drewe Broughton - Worshipped because he wore wrist-bands (presumably to try and distract the ref from his elbows), Donkey Broughton spent more time wrestling opposing centre-halves and conceding free-kicks than doing anything useful. His biggest contribution was getting sent off against Col Ewe in the LDV semis, because we were a far, far better team without him in it. Shockingly dire. His performance against (IIRC) Bristol Rovers was the worst individual display I've ever seen. When he stepped up to take a penalty, not one person in the ground thought he'd score and he didn't disappoint when he promptly put it wide. Amazingly for a forward, I saw him score in a Southend shirt as many times against us, then for us.
Steve McGavin - shockingly poor. A horrendous miss nearly cost us our league status - something that was even harder to bear when you consider he is a Col Ewe legend.

The best post on SZ (during my time of being here) best description of peter clarke ever, the same goes for mark warren

 

[OlvisIII]

Agree totally. I'd have him up front in my all-time XI with Mother Teresa.



His defending?

On both points absolutely spot on. Hammell Was a terrible defender - one of the most over rated players in the history of the blues. A decent left foot and ok going forward but he was supposed to be playing left back.

The thought of Mother Theresa and Broughton up top with Gandhi playing in a free role behind is a mouth watering prospect

 

[fbm]

John Keeley - Had the longest winless run in the clubs history I believe with him between the sticks. In the end we brought in a young lad called Jon O'Brien (from Maldon I think) an won a match. My heart sank every time I saw Keeley in goal.

Paul Roberts - Hated him. The only player I actually was happy about being sent off. What a complete ****.
Frank Lampard - a legend at West Ham, a bellend down here. Useless and a liability. Lovely guy off the pitch, which is where he should have stayed.
Warren May - 2nd worst centre half I have seen at the Hall and a product of the youth team, which makes it worse as we'd known all about him for years!
John Walker - Another player who was so poor that I was relieved when he wasn't playing. Worse than May.

Gordon Connelly - Posing underperforming t*sser. Played 45 minutes sublime football in his time here and for the rest of it was atrocious.
Phil Gridelet - Posing overpaid prima donna who only possessed the attribute of fitness in his locker. Couldn't pass, couldn't shoot, couldn't head and couldn't tackle without fouling the opponent.
Billy Kellock - Lorded it when he came here from Wolves who were a top flight team, was brilliant for about 4 games then astrolled around doing nothing and refusing to get involved. Was gash.
Barry Silkman - Led a players strike in our darkest days, tried to bring down the club, and since leaving the game as a player became an agent who publically denounced other agents, holding himself out as whiter than white and who, I believe, was ALLEGEDLY then placed under investigation for financial irregularities whilst working as an agent. ***t.

Graeme Jones - What a waste of space this bloke was. How he scored 30 plus in a season for anyone is beyond me.
Tony Richards - the worst ever striker to play for us? Scored 1 brilliant goal v Halifax and did naff all after that. Totally overrated.

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

John Keeley - Had the longest winless run in the clubs history I believe with him between the sticks. In the end we brought in a young lad called Jon O'Brien (from Maldon I think) an won a match. My heart sank every time I saw Keeley in goal.

Paul Roberts - Hated him. The only player I actually was happy about being sent off. What a complete ****.
Frank Lampard - a legend at West Ham, a bellend down here. Useless and a liability. Lovely guy off the pitch, which is where he should have stayed.
Warren May - 2nd worst centre half I have seen at the Hall and a product of the youth team, which makes it worse as we'd known all about him for years!
John Walker - Another player who was so poor that I was relieved when he wasn't playing. Worse than May.

Gordon Connelly - Posing underperforming t*sser. Played 45 minutes sublime football in his time here and for the rest of it was atrocious.
Phil Gridelet - Posing overpaid prima donna who only possessed the attribute of fitness in his locker. Couldn't pass, couldn't shoot, couldn't head and couldn't tackle without fouling the opponent.
Billy Kellock - Lorded it when he came here from Wolves who were a top flight team, was brilliant for about 4 games then astrolled around doing nothing and refusing to get involved. Was gash.
Barry Silkman - Led a players strike in our darkest days, tried to bring down the club, and since leaving the game as a player became an agent who publically denounced other agents, holding himself out as whiter than white and who, I believe, was ALLEGEDLY then placed under investigation for financial irregularities whilst working as an agent. ***t.

Graeme Jones - What a waste of space this bloke was. How he scored 30 plus in a season for anyone is beyond me.
Tony Richards - the worst ever striker to play for us? Scored 1 brilliant goal v Halifax and did naff all after that. Totally overrated.

Err, Pony Richards can't be overrated. No-one ever rated him.

 

[fbm]

Err, Pony Richards can't be overrated. No-one ever rated him.

Good point, well made.

 

[NZamba Legend]

Hammell Was a terrible defender - one of the most over rated players in the history of the blues. A decent left foot and ok going forward but he was supposed to be playing left back.

Hammell didn't do it for me, either. He had a good left foot but was slow and always caught out-of-position. Him and Francis at full-backs were a disaster in the championship.

 

[overseas shrimper]

I'll do Wiggy's for her:

All players not called Darryl Flahavan.

 

[DTS]

On both points absolutely spot on. Hammell Was a terrible defender - one of the most over rated players in the history of the blues. A decent left foot and ok going forward but he was supposed to be playing left back.

The thought of Mother Theresa and Broughton up top with Gandhi playing in a free role behind is a mouth watering prospect

I dont think Hammell was a bad defender...Anyone that keeps Ronaldo quiet all be it not on his own cant be too bad and the level he is playing at now suggests he must be fairly decent.

 

[Firestorm]

Keeley
Roberts
Westley
Dublin
Ramsey
O Callaghan
Gridelet
Gooding
Connelly
Whymark
Young

Manager ; Bate

Subs
Southall
Hone
Dean Neal
Boere
Welsh
Mark Hall
Andy Harris

 

[undercovershrimper]

Keeley
Roberts
Westley
Dublin
Ramsey
O Callaghan
Gridelet
Gooding
Connelly
Whymark
Young

Manager ; Bate

Subs
Southall
Hone
Dean Neal
Boere
Welsh
Mark Hall
Andy Harris

Suprised Dave Morley hasnt even made your bench!

 

[SUFC Forever]

Barry Sikman made Stuart Thurgood look like Zidane. I refuse to consider any "Worst Ever Southend X!" rellevant if Silkman's name is not in it. He is in my humble opinion, the most useless pile of ***** ever to wear a Southend shirt

I once worked with Silkman's cousin and he described him as "a total arsehole" and said even his family could not stand him.

 

[Stats]

Prudhoe
Hone Morley Sankofa Booty
S.Clark Connolly Thurgood Pepper Foran
G.Jones

I'll edit my line up if I can think of more tosh.

 

[Silencer]

Just my personal dislikes as per the post - The reasons are varied and ranging from performances (Southall), to speaking to them (Guttridge), to something small that just p***ed me off about them (Francis, the way he hides for the remainder of a game after making a mistake)!


GK:- Mel Capelton, Mark Prudhoe, Ryan Robinson, Neville 'Walrus' Southall

Full-backs:- Simon Francis, Dan Kerrigan,

Centre Backs:- Mark Warren, Leon Cort (Judas), Peter Clarke (Judas), Dave Morley,

Wingers:- JCR (FA Cup Celebration v us),

Midfielders:- Mick Gooding, Simon Livett, Lars Unger (Miss v Cambridge), Stuart Thurgood, Nicky Bailey (Judas),

Forwards:- Mark Rawle (Judas), Sada N'diyae, Barry Conlon, Michael Husbands, Graeme Jones,

Managers:- Ronnie Whelan, Steve Wignall, Stewart Robson,

Non Playing staff:- Vic Jobson, Dave Jobson, Geoffrey King,
Many Many stewards :-)

 

[weststander]

G/k Neville Southall
Def Chris Ramsey
Def Mark Hone
Def Mick Gooding
Def Mark Beard
Mid Adam Locke
Mid Carl Hutchings
Mid Jamie Fullerton
Mid Simon Livett
Att N'Daiye
Att Richards

Sub Martyn Margetson
Sub Neville Roach
Sub Dominic Iorfa
Sub Gary Cross
Sub Russell Williamson
Sub Ian Selley
Sub Dean Holness

Man Dick Bate

Sub

 

[Kris]

I thought Hammell was a pretty decent defender personally, certainly better defensively than Charlie Mulgrew, who the vast majority on here worshipped.

 

[Rob Noxious]

Barry Sikman...is in my humble opinion, the most useless pile of ***** ever to wear a Southend shirt

I once worked with Silkman's cousin and he described him as "a total arsehole" and said even his family could not stand him.

But he was a key figure in helping to bring Richard Cadette to the club. :clap:

 

[Firestorm]

Suprised Dave Morley hasnt even made your bench!

Although I didn't rate Morley, I didn't dislike him