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teacher

  1. scrounger

    Smart A*se of the Year Award

    *6th Place* It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. 'What are my choices?' the man asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied...
    • scrounger
    • Thread
    • arsed bra exam flashed fro icke ickets ish jury nuclear pupils restored seated speeding stopped suffering teacher
    • Replies: 18
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  2. Harold Bishop Killer

    Proverbs

    A Primary school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by Year 5 students. Their insight may surprise...
  3. canveyshrimper

    Morals

    Just received this email, hope this thread doesn't get locked quick smart. A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end. The next day the kids came back and one by one told their stories. Karl said, 'My father's a...
    • canveyshrimper
    • Thread
    • bottles ched chickens dru fro gulf machete meat olds teacher twenty wouldn
    • Replies: 1
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  4. sufc_tom

    Give your 3 reasons...

    why it would be even more great if we beat donny... The abuse I'll get from work if we don't win; The abuse I'll get from college if we don't win; The abuse I'll get from the Leeds supporting scum/teacher if we don't get through and they do.Now add yours.. good or bad
  5. Slipperduke

    Britain's Next Top Model

    I made the mistake of allowing Mrs Slipperduke to use the TV controller last night and paid for my lapse by being exposed to this horrible, nasty programme. Did anyone see it? It appears to be some kind of talent show, though it's anyone's guess what the 'talent' is. You knew there was a...
    • Slipperduke
    • Thread
    • ard clooney controller convince didn faced mis mode moon shagged snowdon teacher vince whore
    • Replies: 14
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  6. Slipperduke

    Arsene Wenger

    I've seen quite a lot of Arsene Wenger this season. He might look like a geeky Geography teacher on the television, but in the flesh he's actually quite cool. He's tall and trim, he dresses only in expensive suits and when he sits down for his post-match press conference, it's more like an...
  7. DTS

    SZ Careers Advice Centre.

    Right, Last few months has been a really hard time to be a mortgage broker. The whole market has been flipped upside down and people that we could mortgage six months ago we cant even think about now. I cant knock the job really as its good income and basically I spend my whole day talking...
    • DTS
    • Thread
    • chef cooking money mortgage postman teacher upside
    • Replies: 28
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  8. Interpol Shrimper

    Law of the Playground

    Has anybody been watching this on C4? For those who haven't it's one of these celeb (in this case I use that term loosely as there are loads of people I have no idea who they are) commentary clip shows along the lines of "Grumpy Old ...." Anyway, the concept is a good one & there are some...
    • Interpol Shrimper
    • Thread
    • attract bleeding grumpy jury pupils qui screaming severe suspected teacher
    • Replies: 17
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  9. Vange Shrimper

    Teacher Jobs - Not having much luck at the mo :(

    Been looking everywhere all day on the net for a position as an ICT teacher in either the Southend/Basildon/Castle Point area, and have found bugger all. If there are some teachers (or anyone who can help!) on here who know the best places to look (either on the net/newspapers etc, or in...
  10. IloveShrimp

    Little Mark

    A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She calls on little MARK. He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.' The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.' Then...
  11. BLUEBLOOD

    London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

    'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when...
    • BLUEBLOOD
    • Thread
    • ant beloved birth cup discretion esses faul following fur joi lived reliable schools teacher teachers unruly
    • Replies: 3
    • Forum: Homer's Bar

  12. Unjust....

    Was bizzarly watching CNN the other other day, and there was a story about a women in Suadi Arabia who was raped by 7 men....but she was put on trial for it!!! where's the sense in that..She was sentanced to 60 Lashes, but she appealed it, and because women have no rights atall, they increased...
  13. J

    Prison or 40 lashings..

    What would you take? Personally i think i would take the 40 lashings.. oh, this is in regard to the teacher who's a racist bigot for calling a teddy bear, morehamhead...
    • J
    • Thread
    • bear teacher
    • Replies: 45
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  14. C C Csiders

    Teacher on trial in Sudan

    Now what I want to know is what is the real charge here is it that she named the teddy bear, dare I say it M****med, or is it really that she is being put on trial for impersonating US porn actor Ron Jeremy? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7118245.stm
  15. callan

    Last nights homework

    I'm starting to wonder what is going on with our education system, last week my youngest daughter brought home a certificate saying she was proficient in ten different types of massage technique....handy for a six year old. My Thirteen year old won a prize in a painting competition despite the...
    • callan
    • Thread
    • brough gest ish learning olds pain taught teacher twenty two minutes types
    • Replies: 63
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  16. pickledseal

    The most fun I've had being an RE teacher...

    The display cabinet in the RS corridor of my school now proudly displays the priests vestments modeled by a Fr Dougal model. It was prospective parents evening this eve and the response was legendary. "Totally Unexpected" was the general consensus....
  17. Robbo

    A plea to the disgruntled

    With all the Tilly/Flavahan/Harrold/ticket office staff bashing I just want to change the tone and say as a new Shrimperzone member and a first time Season Card holder, well done to our club. You expect ups and downs supporting your club and elements of last season and some of the games this...
    • Robbo
    • Thread
    • following icke ickets secondary sons suppor teacher tilly tone
    • Replies: 19
    • Forum: Shrimpers Chit-Chat

  18. What job did you want...

    ...when you were younger? and what do you now? I was just wondering how many people get to do the job that they always dreamed they wanted and if so is it better/worse than you thought. I've always wanted to be involved in sport, obviously I'm not good enough to go pro in anything so I thought...
  19. biffo

    If all is sweet in the SUFC garden.....

    am i not the most attractive poster on here? Do i moisten you?....................................................................Do you feel the need to call me 'sir biffo'? after all, i once was a good golfer and i thought i might be a good teacher...but alas doing it and teaching it turned...
    • biffo
    • Thread
    • cos cup didn didnt ive nudge reduce rees seperate teacher
    • Replies: 5
    • Forum: Shrimpers Chit-Chat
  20. Jay_Shrimper

    Private Music Lessons

    Heya. I'm on the hunt to find a music teacher for someone. Does anyone know anyone who does PRIVATE MUSIC LESSONS (GUITAR) AT PEOPLE'S HOMES? The girl is about 7/8/9 {can't remember} but wants to learn the guitar, so her mum has asked me to go on a hunt! :minger: If anyone could recommend a...
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