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Slipperduke

The Camden Cad
I wrote this three years ago and I still stand by it.




Welcome to my least favourite day of the year. I f**king hate Valentine’s Day, corporate bull**** Hallmark-invented ****.

If you love someone, you should treat them like the god or goddess they are every ****ing day of the year, not just when you are told to do so. The whole thing makes me sick.

What the f**k is the point of Valentine's Day anyway? If you've got the horn for someone, just f**king tell them. Are there really people out there who get all loved up in January but hold off for 5 weeks, just so they can express their feelings through the medium of a mass produced bit of cardboard with a blushing f**king teddybear on it?

Love is supposed to be special, individual and spontaneous. The glorious moment of two souls combining, two hearts intwining, two people finding each other in a crazy, crazy world. It is not, and I can't stress this point enough, it is not something that needs to be co-ordinated by a f**king greetings card company. Surely that just cheapens everything?

Have you ever been in a restuarant for this p*ssingly awful evening? Couple after couple, desperately papering over the cracks in their disintergrating relationships with a badly cooked steak and a creme f**king brulee. Brand new couples feeling all self-conscious about how far society dictates that they display their affections in public. It's a f**king sh*tshow and no mistake.

Thanks to some grey-hearted suit, locked away on floor 56 of Castle Clintons, we all have to play the f**king game otherwise none of us will get our oats for a punitive two month period. It's a f**king ****e state of affairs.

Slipperduke.
 
Totally agree 100%!! Why do you need a specific day set aside in the year when you tell someone you love them, treat them like royalty etc. Surely if you do truely love them you'd do that every day of the year?!
 
*applauds*.....Totally agree, complete waste of time, energy and money.

What I hate most is the way you are held to ransom if, God forbid, you should ever, ever, forget what day it is and woe betide if you even mention your opinions within ear shot of 'er indoors'.

btw, I'm single which probably explains a whole lot :hilarious:
 
btw, I'm single which probably explains a whole lot :hilarious:

Yeah ditto so whenever you put forward this theory people automatically presume you're bitter about being single for valentines...which I'm not...I'm bitter all year round about being single :hilarious:
 
Yeah ditto so whenever you put forward this theory people automatically presume you're bitter about being single for valentines...which I'm not...I'm bitter all year round about being single :hilarious:

So you won't be sending any secrets valentines then:D
 
*Applauds Slipper*

The one good thing about going out for a meal on Valentine's is that you do it once, realise it is the most ar*e-clenchingly awful thing ever, and then (if you have any sense) never do it again - i.e. you have a nice meal a deux at home.

Still, sap that I am, I'll be buying the missus a pressie, or else I'll be dealing with a sad & hurt bunny all day...

*sigh*
 
*Applauds Slipper*

The one good thing about going out for a meal on Valentine's is that you do it once, realise it is the most ar*e-clenchingly awful thing ever, and then (if you have any sense) never do it again - i.e. you have a nice meal a deux at home.

Still, sap that I am, I'll be buying the missus a pressie, or else I'll be dealing with a sad & hurt bunny all day...

*sigh*

Echo those sentiments 100%!
However I am just back from procuring ingredients for said meal a deux in M&S and it was mobbed with panic stricken blokes holding such things as huge bunches of roses, pink champagne & vast boxes of chocs.
 
Echo those sentiments 100%!
However I am just back from procuring ingredients for said meal a deux in M&S and it was mobbed with panic stricken blokes holding such things as huge bunches of roses, pink champagne & vast boxes of chocs.

Exactly. It is a load of toss, but Hallmark have successfully brainwashed the female populace and as a result, I will have to take the housemate out for a meal tomorrow evening.

:cry:
 
And for reason there is Valentines card for daughters and dads?

What the **** is that all about?

'Here you are dad I got you a valentines day card?'

'what?!'
 
And for reason there is Valentines card for daughters and dads?

What the **** is that all about?

'Here you are dad I got you a valentines day card?'

'what?!'

Despite their low attendances suggesting otherwise, Colchester is quite a big town. There's probably a substantial market for them.
 

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