Yep, reading Ghosty's posts, GBJ was right, he does seem a lot more interested about Fossetts, and the Roots Hall developments, and RM's money troubles, rather than the team. I would say he's a local to Fossetts that doesn't want the development there. Probably doesn't fancy all those extra people and more traffic. It's the only plausible explanation as to why he is trying to shaft us with a points deduction and a delay or end to Fossetts.
Anyway, at least he wins the prize for the most original but very weird first post. And here it is.
Hello folks , Ghost of Christmas Future here . Just thought I would drop down to the Zone to confirm some rumours circulating at the stadium that you might find interesting . Firstly , I am in fact a Blues exile and proud of it . I suppose you would like to know a bit about me . My friends call me Ghosty - I know that's not very original but it has a nice warm ring to it . My best mate is called Spooky and he is the barman in our New Arrivals Lounge, hereabouts . Now here is the good news that will cheer you up in the tough times we are in at present. I am pleased to announce that yours truly is the final addition to your Blues management team .
My appointment is being kept secret by Tom because he wants to avoid the club becoming a laughing stock in the footballing world . This is how it all came about.
A message came through on the ghost-mail which is our equivalent of your email system . It read as follows ;
Staff Vacancy - Southend United Football Club
Post : Junior Football Strategist ( Change of ownership issues )
Job Perks : No pay , No bonus , No travelling expenses and No pension provided.
Duration : 12 months fixed term contract
Qualifications : Must have good tax avoidance skills .
Well its a tax haven up here where I am so I thought I would apply for the job . I put on my best cloak and floated down to Roots Hall to meet Tom .
I said '' Tom , have I made the shortlist ? ''
Tom said '' Yes Ghosty you have made the shortlist but that's mainly because it is a very short list . You are the only applicant so the job is yours ''
I said '' Thanks Tom - I will be working from home so I will not be requiring a desk or chair ''
Tom replied '' Thank heavens for that . We have had to sell all the furniture and fittings to pay the HMRC ''
Then Tom introduced me to King Kev and the rest of the management team . I was very impressed and felt confident that we would soon be climbing back up the table with such good people now in charge , And so feeling well chuffed I returned to base and went straight to the New Arrivals Lounge to tell Spooky the good news, but low and behold, I found him in a state of great distress .
I said '' What's up with you Spooky .You look as white as a sheet and you are quivering like a jelly . Anyone would think you had just seen a human being . ''
Spooky said '' I have suffered some verbal abuse . A newcomer came to the bar and said they were as thirsty as a fish and demanded an orange squash . Of course, I refused him point blank ''
I said '' You were right to do so Spooky . He should have read the big sign we put up - ONLY SPIRITS SERVED HERE '' . Anyway , how did this newcomer get to be with us in the first place .''
Spooky said '' It's a sad tale . He was at the Hall for a well attended match . At the half time interval he was standing near a catering kiosk when some idiot shouted out '' These Hot Dogs have Onions with them '' and unfortunately he was trampled under foot in the stampede that ensued ''
I said '' That is certainly very bad luck but we should all make sure we count our blessings in life . At least he never had to endure the usual woeful Blues performance in the second half '' . Oh , I nearly forgot . The reason I am here is that I have now joined the Blues and will be starting my new job on 1st January . I am surprised you never applied for the job yourself ''
Spooky replied '' I wouldn't want to be seen dead working for a club like that . Terrible reputation up here . All their fans keep going on these protest floats.''
I said '' No worries . Its my job to sort out the ownership problems, while my boss Stan sorts out the football side of things''
Spooky said '' That's a tough assignment . What is your boss ,Stan , really like ?.'
I said '' He is a really nice guy and so passionate about the future of the Blues . I will never forget the first words he spoke to me . They were '' I believe in transparency at this football club and I can see right through you . Welcome aboard and best of luck in helping the management team to turn this club around in 2022 ''.
END OF PART 1 - I will be back next Christmas to tell you how I got on working ,for a year, at your great football club .
