Is Marriage Important?

[Bazza the dog]

Over the past year or so my lovely lady has been pecking my head about doing the right thing (in her eyes anyway) and getting hitched.

Now to me it's not really that important and I dont think you have to sign a bloody bit of paper and wear a ring on your finger to prove your love its just bollocks and I am not a catholic anyway. Unfortunately her and her famly being very latin etc its now getting to the stage chaps that she is seriousley giving me grief witheven her overbearing father getting involved in the matter telling her I am not a serious man for her and to find someone else which really ****ed me off as you can imagine. The thing is it has never really appealed to me and I do not like being pushed into something like this its just wrong and offputting even though i love the girl to death and she is a bit of a sort if I dont say so myself.

Anyone feel the same or are you all happily married with 2-4 kids in a 3 bedroom?.

 

[MK Shrimper]

Bloody hope so, tying the knot next year.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Bazza - it's important to some people, and not to others. Unfortunately, in a Catholic country, where marriage is a holy sacrament and is meant to herald the arrival of children... marriage is very important, and having kids out of wedlock is not entirely the done thing.

I don't think you can generalise about marriage - it's an incredibly personal thing. Yes, it happens to be very important to me - and for me it means a lot more than "just a bit of paper and a ring on my finger"... for me, it was a lifelong commitment that I made to my wife in front of God, my friends and my family. But just because that's what it means to me, that doesn't mean that it means the same thing to everyone.

Good luck with resolving this one with your partner.

 

[Crawliano]

To be honest, I think that if you're not religious, going into a church and making a promise to a "god" you have no belief in is kick starting a marriage with (in your partner's eyes) a massive lie.

Basically, I couldn't get married in a church as I don't believe in god, and don't want to 1) pay lip service and 2) sing hymns.

BUT to me getting married is a bit of an old fashioned thing, in that the day I got married I said to the mrs "quit the job, I can now look after you". Until that day comes for me, I cannot do that as in her father's eyes, she'd be marrying second best (my view, not his).

So, yeah, marriage is important if done for the right reasons and on both sides, being forced into it makes it a sham and ultimately something you'll regret.

 

[Mad Cyril]

It is so much more than a ring and piece of paper.

You are probably in for at least a George Foreman grill and a couple of toasters as well.

One of my mates even got a pizza maker.

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

Dont beilive in all that in the eyes of god rubbish my self but the facts are the facts and for me being married to my wife is very important.I had lots of sex with different women before married and even more whilst married but i gave it up to stay married to the one woman i love.
Ben could you do without her,if so then move on ,you are youngish so sow while the sun shines,being a sort is not good grounds for marriage,love is.

 

[Westcliff Shrimper]

Marriage is the natural progression for any relationship. Would recommend it to anyone, and I have been married for 4 and a half years...

 

[The Big Shrimp]

As somebody who is engaged & living in sin with my intended, I'm personally not fussed either way. I won't get married in church (athiest) & don't want to throw loads of cash at a large "do" when we can spend that money on our house.

My view is do what is right for you. If you want your woman then compromise & do it without the religious bollocks & get married somewhere other than a church. I guess your "wife to be" wants the big white dress & all the trimmings! Good luck!

As for the In Laws, tel them to FRO!!! Gretna Green might be a good idea or Las Vegas!!

:whistling:

 

[Bazza the dog]

The thing is ita not easy to tell the outlaws to FRO, the latin culture means that the parents are very overbearing and have a say in their childrens lives up until they die really it really winds me up and I dont think its right.

 

[The Big Shrimp]

The thing is ita not easy to tell the outlaws to FRO, the latin culture means that the parents are very overbearing and have a say in their childrens lives up until they die really it really winds me up and I dont think its right.

I know, I was meant tongue in cheek. That said & its my life motto/saying."You have one chance at life & only you can live it for you. If you f*ck it up, you can only blame yourself!"

Do what is best for you both, not the parents. If you pay for it yourself, if you compromise & do it non-religious, you two call the shots.

The words to use are to the in laws are, "with all due respect, it is about what your daughter & I want"

Good luck!!

 

[steveo]

The thing is ita not easy to tell the outlaws to FRO, the latin culture means that the parents are very overbearing and have a say in their childrens lives up until they die really it really winds me up and I dont think its right.

Its more of a woman thing and if it keeps them happy why not? Ive been married a long time and I often think if we weren't married it would have been easier to split and it may have happened.

Separate note: A mate got married to a Spanish girl in North London during the 86 or 92? World Cup. We got a coach there. Arrived way too early and spent 2 or 3 hours in the pub watching footy. The ceremony went on forever, some sort of Catholic thing. After half hour or so most of us had to go outside to relieve ourselves of the beer. Turned into a right debacle with blokes nipping in and out all through it.

 

[Sean 2]

It doesn't sound like you are ready BTD to get wedded.

But if you are then let the bride have what she wants, big church do whatever. It's a family day anyway, for me it was a chance to spoil the mother-in-law, seeing her daughter get married and all.

But marriage is great, it's an institution, a block put into the wall of society and kept there. It'll make a man of you.

 

[Cricko]

It'll make a man of you.

Obviously didn't work for you then mate...:)

 

[Sean 2]

Obviously didn't work for you then mate...:)

Nah mate, i'm a big ferkin pussy you're right.

 

[southend4ever]

If you are trying to obtain a passport then yes! Hayden Foxe quality football example.

 

[Irish_Shrimper]

Don't allow yourself to get forced into marriage mate. You might take the plunge and be really happy, or it could really go tits up and I would imagine the Latin types don't take too kindly to divorce.

Do what is right for you mate. The missus has to be understanding if you need some time to think things over.

 

[ibwiajwa]

Dont beilive in all that in the eyes of god rubbish my self but the facts are the facts and for me being married to my wife is very important.I had lots of sex with different women before married and even more whilst married but i gave it up to stay married to the one woman i love.
Ben could you do without her,if so then move on ,you are youngish so sow while the sun shines,being a sort is not good grounds for marriage,love is.

What a depressing view of life.

Yes, it happens to be very important to me - and for me it means a lot more than "just a bit of paper and a ring on my finger"... for me, it was a lifelong commitment that I made to my wife in front of God, my friends and my family.

Good luck with resolving this one with your partner.

What he said.

 

[Uncle Leo]

As long as you get a good stag trip out of it, marriage is well worthwhile.

 

[MrB]

I have mixed views on this particular subject.....

 

[scrounger]

As long as the father-in-law pays so you don't lose out financially....