Funniest thing seen at a Southend game

[Ricey]

I saw a guy in the South Upper bring in some food wrapped in paper, I would assume from the Fish House.

He then proceeded to throughout the first half devour 3 battered Sausages and I think 4 Saveloys! An impressive feat but one that made a friend and I chuckle at the never ending paper of sausages.

 

[Swiss Tony]

While in a pub Yeovil before the game on a lads weekend the Essex police turned up doing their checks, whilst the sergeant was down the other end of the bar another copper asked who’s pint was it on the window ledge I replied yours if you want it to which he sunk the lot straight down thanked me and left.

 

[HertfordshireBlue]

Not really funny at the time but looking back at Adam Barrett kick a crater out of the Col U pitch instead of the ball as it rolls into our net - it’s up there.

 

[Voice of Reason]

I saw a guy in the South Upper bring in some food wrapped in paper, I would assume from the Fish House.

He then proceeded to throughout the first half devour 3 battered Sausages and I think 4 Saveloys! An impressive feat but one that made a friend and I chuckle at the never ending paper of sausages.

Would not surprise me one bit if that was the late great Graham jolly

 

[hlane17]

Elliot Justham fumbling a dreadful shot from Michael Timlin for a 1-0 Southend win vs Luton in 2015

 

[lreed567]

Getting knocked out the cup to sittingbourne

 

[Rooster79]

Our player megged someone in his own box, then as he went to clear it forward, it deflected and fired into the goal off an opposition player in the 97th minute… Mental!

 

[davewebbsbrain]

Would not surprise me one bit if that was the late great Graham jolly

He used to sit right the behind me in the South upper and I lost count of the amount of times I thought he was going to go over the top of me during games

 

[CanveyCastle]

He used to sit right the behind me in the South upper and I lost count of the amount of times I thought he was going to go over the top of me during games

Games are not the same without him.
RIP Graham. Miss you lots, mate.

 

[Hooly]

Would not surprise me one bit if that was the late great Graham jolly

Entirely possible that it was @Voice of Reason. Homer always arrived with 10 Mars Bars or something else.

 

[Firestorm]

Harry (RIP) vs Sheff Utd , many years ago getting in a row with Ian Porterfield (we had been moved from the Northbank for the large number of away fans) after IP ran on the pitch to celebrate a late goal.
Also against Sheff Utd ...."the good news Curran, is you have been sent off, The bad news is Porterfield is driving you home " (IP had had a bad car crash earlier that year)

 

[Dutch Branch]

One thing that’s sticks in my mind was Tony Currie making his debut, I think he tripped over on the side of the pitch when coming out to warm up, injured himself and was never seen again

 

[Hooly]

So, as many are in the depths of depression I’ll try to lighten the mood with a Homerism.

Back when mobile phones that weren’t the size of house bricks were starting to become sort of common one of the 1st people in our circle to get one, despite him being as technologically inept as anyone I’ve ever known, was the great Homer J Olley. He worked as a ship’s agent & the use of this new-fangled technology seemed to be simply for Graham to shout “Captain” very, very loudly at some unsuspecting Russian or East European sailor, as if ending up in Tilbury wasn’t bad enough. That went down particularly well on our occasional game days on the train, when we always booked the quiet section simply to annoy him but mainly the other passengers when he ignored it.

About this time the club issued a phone number that fans could report any issue they spotted on a match day. FFS just imagine now how that line would melt down now with hundreds calling every game to give Kev the benefit of their extensive coaching expertise.

Anyway, back to Homereality. We were playing someone like Rochdale & at some stage the stunningly detailed old scoreboard flashed up using the 10 bulbs left with something like Rotherham & Homer was not having that at all. In high dudgeon he drew his phone out as if it was a personal line to The Almighty, no not Ron but probably Dave Jobson, & dialled the number or whatever he had as speed dial. He ranted for what seemed an age telling the club what a total disgrace, utter shambles & complete embarrassment they were, with obviously a range of suitable expletives thrown in for good measure.

As he finished I asked him what the club had said to which he answered the now immortal phrase “They said they were AC Taxis & had no idea that I was talking about!”. Seriously you just had to be there as we all just melted in hysterics & I doubt I saw much more of the game due to crying with laughter.

Dear old Homey aka Matt Crapper (which is another story).