Danger in the office

[* ORM *]

Quote[/b] (Einstein @ Jan. 11 2007,21:04)]

Quote[/b] (blues_r_best @ Jan. 11 2007,20:23)]

Quote[/b] (Einstein @ Jan. 11 2007,20:10)]

Quote[/b] (blues_r_best @ Jan. 11 2007,19:57)]I get attacked by two german alsatians when I go to work.

I'm not even a postie.

What are german alsatians?!

Do you mean German Shepherds?  

If you don't understand then research it.  There is no such breed as Alsatian I'm afraid!

Well, to be honest I'm not sure of their heritage but they are alastians.

Wiki

There is no official such breed as Alsatian !!

You obviously went to wikipedia and read the top line only!!!

Alsatian was a term used after the World Wars so the word 'German' was not banded about in any sense.  Wikipedia doesn't state it, but I am pretty sure it was the Americans that started the term 'Alsatian'.

So to clarify again just for you.  There is no such breed as Alsatian, but there is a breed called German Shepherd and they are cute little things that look like this...

Either way it's a dog and with the exception of guide dogs they should all be shot.

The most painful thing I've done in an office is met a woman who I later married - ouch !

 

[Einstein]

Quote[/b] (* ORM * @ Jan. 11 2007,21:27)]Either way it's a dog and with the exception of guide dogs they should all be shot.

*ORM in talking sh!te shock!*

Most annoying thing has to be bashing knee into the corner of metal draws next to your desk.  It's like when you hit your 'funny' elbow, it hurts, but just kinda makes you laugh too.

 

[davewebbsbrain]

Quote[/b] (Einstein @ Jan. 11 2007,21:36)]

Quote[/b] (* ORM * @ Jan. 11 2007,21:27)]Either way it's a dog and with the exception of guide dogs they should all be shot.

*ORM in talking sh!te shock!*

Most annoying thing has to be bashing knee into the corner of metal draws next to your desk.  It's like when you hit your 'funny' elbow, it hurts, but just kinda makes you laugh too.

Carrying on with your pompous 'There is no such breed as an Alsatian', I think you will find there is no such thing as a 'Funny' elbow.

You may have meant to say 'Funny Bone'.

Your funny bone isn't actually a bone at all. Running down the inside part of your elbow is a nerve called the ulnar nerve. The ulnar nerve controls feeling in your fourth and fifth fingers. It's also one of the nerves that controls the movement of your wrist.

You get that funny feeling when the ulnar nerve is bumped against the humerus (say: hyoo-muh-rus), the long bone that starts at your elbow and goes up to your shoulder. Tapping your funny bone doesn't do any damage to your elbow, arm, or ulnar nerve. But it sure feels strange!


So Einstein, now you know.

 

[dloman]

Quote[/b] (Slipperduke @ Jan. 11 2007,17:43)]

Quote[/b] (dloman @ Jan. 11 2007,17:40)]Well apart from the obvious embarrasment what struck me most was the concrete floor

Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we have a winner!

*passes over Line Of The Week award*

It is a pleasure to accept this award, but 1st a few thank yous..

Blue circle cement for your wonderful supporting part to my knees lead role.

 

[londonblue]

I remember a colleague telling me this story. It didn't happen in an office, but he told me about it in the office, so it kind of counts. And for pain I don't believe anyone out there will beat this.

This colleague of mine had just been on a stag weekend where all the participants decided to go horse riding. During the ride one of the guys screamed out in pain, but carried on. Later that day he was still in pain, and his crown jewels had swollen. To try and relieve the pain he put a cold beer down his trousers (well, this was a stag weekend) but is made no difference.

In the end they all took him to the hospital, where he was x-rayed and then took in for emergency surgery. What had he done? As he was bouncing on the horse he had landed on one of his testicles and split it in half.

Apparently during the drive back to their cottage everyone was in silence thinking, "that could easily have been me". When they got back they had a minutes silence for him too.

Just to complete the story, his testicle was saved, but only after a course of antibiotics because the stitches became infected.

 

[Xàbia Shrimper]

 

[Einstein]

Quote[/b] (londonblue @ Jan. 12 2007,16:24)]I remember a colleague telling me this story. It didn't happen in an office, but he told me about it in the office, so it kind of counts. And for pain I don't believe anyone out there will beat this.

This colleague of mine had just been on a stag weekend where all the participants decided to go horse riding. During the ride one of the guys screamed out in pain, but carried on. Later that day he was still in pain, and his crown jewels had swollen. To try and relieve the pain he put a cold beer down his trousers (well, this was a stag weekend) but is made no difference.

In the end they all took him to the hospital, where he was x-rayed and then took in for emergency surgery. What had he done? As he was bouncing on the horse he had landed on one of his testicles and split it in half.

Apparently during the drive back to their cottage everyone was in silence thinking, "that could easily have been me". When they got back they had a minutes silence for him too.

Just to complete the story, his testicle was saved, but only after a course of antibiotics because the stitches became infected.

Did anyone else feel a certain amount of discomfort just reading this?!

*Note to self - never go horseriding!*

 

[Slipperduke]

Quote[/b] (londonblue @ Jan. 12 2007,16:24)]I remember a colleague telling me this story. It didn't happen in an office, but he told me about it in the office, so it kind of counts. And for pain I don't believe anyone out there will beat this.

This colleague of mine had just been on a stag weekend where all the participants decided to go horse riding. During the ride one of the guys screamed out in pain, but carried on. Later that day he was still in pain, and his crown jewels had swollen. To try and relieve the pain he put a cold beer down his trousers (well, this was a stag weekend) but is made no difference.

In the end they all took him to the hospital, where he was x-rayed and then took in for emergency surgery. What had he done? As he was bouncing on the horse he had landed on one of his testicles and split it in half.

Apparently during the drive back to their cottage everyone was in silence thinking, "that could easily have been me". When they got back they had a minutes silence for him too.

Just to complete the story, his testicle was saved, but only after a course of antibiotics because the stitches became infected.

Garggggh!

 

[The 4th man]

Well 2 quick ones

1) Many years ago working in Somerfield in hockly , i used to open the cages they had with by bare hands . Now they tied the doors with metal wires (ok its obvious this one ) . Many hundreads opened no problem untill one day . Rip ... ooh wait i can see insode my finger (tendon stilling moving oooh thats fine , ooh blood )

2) Last year , working in Cannes . now to be fair it was out of the office , Hilton hotel infact , walking to the loo in flip flops . Triped , and managed to headbut the granite floor . Thankfully i was in a room full of far drunker people then myself , who laid the unciouse me on my back (i recovered quickly) . My head was fine sadly they had all missed this large pool of blood from my toe where i had taken a chunk of my left big toe . Still lovely night spent in Cannes hospital , left the follwoing morning (had to make my own way back the swines !!) to my hotel

 

[Sao Paulo Shrimper]

Quote[/b] (davewebbsbrain @ Jan. 12 2007,08:39)]

Quote[/b] (Einstein @ Jan. 11 2007,21:36)]

Quote[/b] (* ORM * @ Jan. 11 2007,21:27)]Either way it's a dog and with the exception of guide dogs they should all be shot.

*ORM in talking sh!te shock!*

Most annoying thing has to be bashing knee into the corner of metal draws next to your desk.  It's like when you hit your 'funny' elbow, it hurts, but just kinda makes you laugh too.

Carrying on with your pompous 'There is no such breed as an Alsatian', I think you will find there is no such thing as a 'Funny' elbow.

You may have meant to say 'Funny Bone'.

Your funny bone isn't actually a bone at all. Running down the inside part of your elbow is a nerve called the ulnar nerve. The ulnar nerve controls feeling in your fourth and fifth fingers. It's also one of the nerves that controls the movement of your wrist.

You get that funny feeling when the ulnar nerve is bumped against the humerus (say: hyoo-muh-rus), the long bone that starts at your elbow and goes up to your shoulder. Tapping your funny bone doesn't do any damage to your elbow, arm, or ulnar nerve. But it sure feels strange!


So Einstein, now you know.

Nice comeback fella.

Tickled me that reply.

 

[davewebbsbrain]

Quote[/b] (Sao Paulo Shrimper @ Jan. 12 2007,18:11)]

Quote[/b] (davewebbsbrain @ Jan. 12 2007,08:39)]

Quote[/b] (Einstein @ Jan. 11 2007,21:36)]

Quote[/b] (* ORM * @ Jan. 11 2007,21:27)]Either way it's a dog and with the exception of guide dogs they should all be shot.

*ORM in talking sh!te shock!*

Most annoying thing has to be bashing knee into the corner of metal draws next to your desk.  It's like when you hit your 'funny' elbow, it hurts, but just kinda makes you laugh too.

Carrying on with your pompous 'There is no such breed as an Alsatian', I think you will find there is no such thing as a 'Funny' elbow.

You may have meant to say 'Funny Bone'.

Your funny bone isn't actually a bone at all. Running down the inside part of your elbow is a nerve called the ulnar nerve. The ulnar nerve controls feeling in your fourth and fifth fingers. It's also one of the nerves that controls the movement of your wrist.

You get that funny feeling when the ulnar nerve is bumped against the humerus (say: hyoo-muh-rus), the long bone that starts at your elbow and goes up to your shoulder. Tapping your funny bone doesn't do any damage to your elbow, arm, or ulnar nerve. But it sure feels strange!


So Einstein, now you know.

Nice comeback fella.  

Tickled me that reply.

No worries. Glad to oblige!!
Sometimes Einstein just needs putting in his place

 

[Shrimper2thecore]

Not at work, but the most pain I have ever had was when I pulled my groin. It was so horrible. Was playing football, and got my standing leg taken out and felt it go as I tumbled to the floor crushing my wrist. Didnt seem so bad when I got helped to my feet, my wrist hurt at the time, but when I put some weight on my right foot I collapsed, relanding on my wrist!!

Not good, very bad, I could not walk for about 10 days, and had physio for a few weeks, really f%cking hurt.




Also another notable one, was playing football again, had been having a bit of a battle with the left winger the whole game, I slid in won the ball fairly to knock it out for a throw, he jumped to avoid my tackle, and on the way down landed on my knee, at the time I thought nothing of it, but a 21 man brawl followed, and I latter found out that on the way down he gritted his teeth and slammed down as hard as he could. He was sent off, and I was left with blood all over the place, and 3 scars on my knee, I was carried off as a result, but thankfully never suffered too much pain from it.

 

[tommytwoholes]

Whilst working in the city for a bank i was exiled with other back office staff to sunny stratford east london. Not noted for its friendly locals who were basically picking our staff off one by one like a scene from deliverance. After numerous muggings etc of staff we finally moved back to the city and i remember proudly stating that i had survived unscathed the night we left stratford. That night a few of us went out on the lash near liverpool st and i left them to go home on my own. Basically i am walking back to liverpool st when some iddiot chucks a brick at this pub window and then runs off through spiterfields market, im left standing there when about five blokes come charging out at me. Sensing that chit chat would be wasted i decide to lose them, unfortunately one of them seems to be lynford christies brother or something because he moves quicker than an Romanian with a visa. Basically i get my legs swiped whilst at full speed and after hitting the ground harder than the comet in armargedon i try to get up only to find my Humurous bone (top half of arm) Is snapped completely and not only that , but my hand is now facing the wrong way flapping around in a kind of strange waving motion. By now the others have caught up and proceed to drag me around by my brocken arm whilst toe punting me in the head and eyes. I have to be honest it wasnt one of my better evenings and being a temp at the time i didnt get a penny for being off with my arm in a sling for 14 weeks.

 

[BoyWonder2]

Tearing me hamstring when playing football, what a f%cker. Feels like you've been shot in the leg, although I've never been shot so don't know what that feels like. Most incredible pain I've suffered for a while.

What was even better was after been given the all clear by the pysio, doing all the recommended stretches etc, I tore it 10 minutes into my comeback and forced me to miss the whole tour of Italy we had at the end of the season. Fan-f%cking-tastic!