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  • Total voters
    26

DTS

The Business
Times are slow in the world of mortgage broking at the moment. We did however have a call today from a potential customer who called up on the off chance.

This customer basically told Anna in the office that she was claiming full unemployment benefit as she was unable to find work. As she had no job Anna quite rightly told her we wont be able to find a lender to help her.

She then revealed that she also works 30 hours a week in a hairdressers in Morecombe but she dosent declare that as its cash in hand and would stop her getting benefits.

We all agreed this is wrong. So we have come up with this policy which I think will be a real vote winner for the Tories/Labour/ MK lefty party etc etc.

If you are unemployed you have to report to Monday to Friday 9-5pm to a goverment run scheme (unless you have an interview). This scheme would be there to do commuity jobs such as clean parks, streets etc - Any job that basically benefits the community that is supporting it.

If the unemployed turn up they get there benefits. If they miss a day there money is pro-rate down. This would also be paid at the rate of minimum wage. There are no holidays except public holidays whilst unemployed.

At the end of a year if you still have not found work then you are forced to work saturdays too. If you claim you too ill to work then you have to undergo an thorough and tough examination.

I reckon this is a vote winner. Is there anyone out there that does not agree. If you can see any flaws in this scheme again I would welcome the feedback. I think the hardest bit will be proving people can work.

I will mail it to Dave Cameron at 5pm and I expect it to be in the papers next week.

We in the office beleive this hard work would make the unemployed
 
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Times are slow in the world of mortgage broking at the moment. We did however have a call today from a potential customer who called up on the off chance.

This customer basically told Anna in the office that she was claiming full unemployment benefit as she was unable to find work. As she had no job Anna quite rightly told her we wont be able to find a lender to help her.

She then revealed that she also works 30 hours a week in a hairdressers in Morecombe but she dosent declare that as its cash in hand and would stop her getting benefits.

We all agreed this is wrong. So we have come up with this policy which I think will be a real vote winner for the Tories/Labour/ MK lefty party etc etc.

If you are unemployed you have to report to Monday to Friday 9-5pm to a goverment run scheme. This scheme would be there to do commuity jobs such as clean parks, streets etc - Any job that basically benefits the community that is supporting it.

If the unemployed turn up they get there benefits. If they miss a day there money is pro-rate down. This would also be paid at the rate of minimum wage.
At the end of a year if you still have not found work then you are forced to work saturdays too. If you claim you too ill to work then you have to undergo an thorough and tough examination.

I reckon this is a vote winner. Is there anyone out there that does not agree. If you can see any flaws in this scheme again I would welcome the feedback. I think the hardest bit will be proving people can work.

I will mail it to Dave Cameron at 5pm and I expect it to be in the papers next week.

We in the office beleive this hard work would make the unemployed

So while these people are working monday to friday 9 till 5 when are they suppose to look for jobs?
 
So while these people are working monday to friday 9 till 5 when are they suppose to look for jobs?

Yes and they would not even have a chance to sign on during office hours...;) let alone meet there mates for lunch .
 
That's not such a bad idea, however you'd need to allocate them time for finding work and having job interviews.
 
So while these people are working monday to friday 9 till 5 when are they suppose to look for jobs?

If they can prove they have an interview then of course they can have an afternoon off. They can look for jobs after 5pm in the same way most of us do.
 
So while the honest vast majority of benefit claimants, who are in their position for various circumstances which are often out of their control, are made to work for something their have already paid for in taxes and NI contributiuons, for well below minimum wage instead of looking for employment they are trained and skilled at, the law-breaking citizens have their feet up in their prisons cells contributing nothing in the way of repayment to society?
 
Well nice to know I've got my own political party. I'll be having conferences in Bermuda (sod Blackpool) and there is a policy of kissing babies ONLY if they're over the age of 18 and female.

And cute. And look good in a bikini. In Bermuda.

Anyway - this policy is all very well, but if the unemployed are doing the work of the already employed, you've put those people out of work.

It's a snowball effect - we'll all be doing the same jobs, except for £50 a week (or whatever is is).
 
So while the honest vast majority of benefit claimants, who are in their position for various circumstances which are often out of their control, are made to work for something their have already paid for in taxes and NI contributiuons, for well below minimum wage instead of looking for employment they are trained and skilled at, the law-breaking citizens have their feet up in their prisons cells contributing nothing in the way of repayment to society?

Well we have discussed this and yes they have paid into the system but if they are fit,able bodied and have half a brain in there heads why can they not find work.

I would be in favour of say a three month grace period in which they can spend finding a job. If you cant find work in three months then you can jolly well work for the community in my book.

I accept its a bit harsh but then its a bit harsh that people sit at home for prelonged periods of time not working while the tax payer picks up the bill. I am hoping to get long term unemployed people back to work rather than people that through no fault of there own find theselves sort term out of work.
 
Well we have discussed this and yes they have paid into the system but if they are fit,able bodied and have half a brain in there heads why can they not find work.

I would be in favour of say a three month grace period in which they can spend finding a job. If you cant find work in three months then you can jolly well work for the community in my book.

I accept its a bit harsh but then its a bit harsh that people sit at home for prelonged periods of time not working while the tax payer picks up the bill. I am hoping to get long term unemployed people back to work rather than people that through no fault of there own find theselves sort term out of work.

sounds a bit Keynesian to me, Dave, you'd need to be prepared for prices going up and inflation occuring. Unless you have a tight monetary policy as well?
 
Well nice to know I've got my own political party. I'll be having conferences in Bermuda (sod Blackpool) and there is a policy of kissing babies ONLY if they're over the age of 18 and female.

And cute. And look good in a bikini. In Bermuda.

Anyway - this policy is all very well, but if the unemployed are doing the work of the already employed, you've put those people out of work.

It's a snowball effect - we'll all be doing the same jobs, except for £50 a week (or whatever is is).


But they can be doing the work that our already strecthed public services cant do. For example how often is the local park cleaned properly. Once every few months - Under my scheme we would have an army of workers.

You could even open it up so that these people can be hired by business's thus making my new goverment scheme almost like a recuitment agency.

This would have two fold benefits as a) The agency would be getting more money in which can goback into the state system and b) It will allow unemployed people to impress potential employers which will hopefully get them back working. :fury:
 
And if they don't get "hand outs" what then? They won't starve - out of desperation, people would turn to crime and end up being locked up in already over populated prisons.

All very well to bang on about this when you live in the comfy South Dave, try telling this to some poor sod who lives in the @rse end of Wales where once there were jobs in manufacturing (before they got shipped off to China) or in mining until (I bet) a certain hero of yours destroyed entire communities by closing down productive pits.
 
Much like the issues put up by Wife Swap last weekend (and in the infamous Lizzie Bardsley one in the past).

How is it fair that, in this case, a lesbian (her "wife" was 24, she was mid 30s)mother of 3 kids (11, 15 & 16) can sit at home and claim as much benefits as she can get her hands on and still afford to go shopping for clothes each week and get her hair done weekly too, whilst a family of 4 (who to be fair looked minted, they had a tennis court in their back garden, but pleaded poverty as they were farmers), work 75+ hours a week and have no spare cash?
 
So you want to take the unemployed, and employ them without paying them a wage, and still call them unemployed?

Yeah, I can see how you think it's a vote winner.
 
All very well to blame the poor - look at the obscenely rich who hire accountants to stash huge sums of money away from the tax man in off shore accounts, MP's with vast expense accounts, premiership footballers.

The gap between rich and poor is growing ever wider every year.
 
And if they don't get "hand outs" what then? They won't starve - out of desperation, people would turn to crime and end up being locked up in already over populated prisons.

All very well to bang on about this when you live in the comfy South Dave, try telling this to some poor sod who lives in the @rse end of Wales where once there were jobs in manufacturing (before they got shipped off to China) or in mining until (I bet) a certain hero of yours destroyed entire communities by closing down productive pits.

Fine - If my Mr Taffy cant find work in his local supermarket or whatever it may be he can go and clean the beaches,streets under my scheme cant he. I fail to see the problem.

If he has worked in this pit he is no doubt big and strong and hence has no reason to be sitting on his **** all day.
 
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Much like the issues put up by Wife Swap last weekend (and in the infamous Lizzie Bardsley one in the past).

How is it fair that, in this case, a lesbian (her "wife" was 24, she was mid 30s)mother of 3 kids (11, 15 & 16) can sit at home and claim as much benefits as she can get her hands on and still afford to go shopping for clothes each week and get her hair done weekly too, whilst a family of 4 (who to be fair looked minted, they had a tennis court in their back garden, but pleaded poverty as they were farmers), work 75+ hours a week and have no spare cash?

It's not - but the need for children of unemployed people to be well looked after will always throw this kind of situation up. I certainly don't think there's any sort of easy answer as to how this sort of thing can be stopped.
 
So you want to take the unemployed, and employ them without paying them a wage, and still call them unemployed?

Yeah, I can see how you think it's a vote winner.

They are getting a wage - Their unemployment benefits. They are now just working for it.
 
All very well to blame the poor - look at the obscenely rich who hire accountants to stash huge sums of money away from the tax man in off shore accounts, MP's with vast expense accounts, premiership footballers.

The gap between rich and poor is growing ever wider every year.

Exactly what me & the Mrs were saying yesterday.
Fat cat tax bonuses should be subject to a huge tax hike to pay for better public services (this might go someway to ensuring my fricking council don't shift our refuse collection over to a fortnightly "service"). As well as anybody in professional sport on over say £50k a week.
 

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