Quote[/b] (Xàbia Shrimper @ July 03 2005,13:20)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (chalkwell blue @ July 03 2005,00:05)]Any one else have the pleasure of going today or even have tickets for centre court.
Pleasure?
Tennis?!
Surely you must be mistaken?!
Ten Reasons Why Tennis Is Crap:
1. The players warm up together
Imagine boxers or track stars warming up together before a fight or race, "Hey Charlie, throw me a left jab, I want to practice my head movement".
2. They apologise to each other when something lucky happens.
The idea is to win, it's what competition is all about, you are on a world stage, you're not playing your boss, you won't get fired if you show emotion and joy when something weird goes your way. Personally I'd be milking it.
3. They inform the other player when new balls are in play
Oh by the way, just in case you were not paying attention, and did not realize that it's time to change the balls and that the umpire has just yelled out "new balls", I'm holding them up as a friendly reminder, I don't want you to think that I'm trying to sneak an ace by you with a new ball.
4. They don't deliberately hit the ball at the opponent when at net (even though it is one of the best ways to win a point)
A tennis ball will not kill, it may sting, baseball players who use a ball that will break bones or even stop you from breathing are constantly throwing at each other, in tennis the guy who comes to the net is telling you, "here I am, I'm taking it you, I dare you to pass me" and his opponent most of the time tries to accommodate this request by trying to create outrageous angles that are not there. One of the best ways to take care of a net rusher is to send him a message of your own that will let him know that if you come in, beware because I will hit you whenever I get the chance. Remember Ivan Lendl that was part of aura and they say he was boring.
5. The crowd does not boo
Stop being polite! You paid your money, you want to be entertained, if a guy double faults two times in a row let him have it, if he makes a silly error let him have it, if you think he is not trying hard enough let him have it.
6. The players can request that a lines person be removed
Ok, this linesman has made calls that I don't like, get rid of him, imagine that in any other sport. A player saying "I won't play until you get rid of that guy" and the powers that be grants him his wish. The call that you think was bad is done, deal with it!
7. If they hit the opponent with the ball, they have to apologize
To make matters worse, they don't even mean it! If you hit someone in the heat of the battle and the guy is still standing, CPR does not have to administered, stand by it, don't say "sorry mate"!
8. They request a towel to wipe the sweat off their faces before each point.
Put the clock on the players, you are an athlete, you are competing, you are moving around, you are suppose to sweat. It's repulsive watching Greg Rusedski serve an ace, asks the ball person for a towel, serves another ace and then asks for the towel again. How much sweating can one do serving an ace - indoors?
9. The crowd has traveled on the Q.E.2
I'm sorry but the QE2 crowd, the champagne and caviar, the show up to be seen crowd can not make noise, they can't add to the atmosphere. We need hecklers in tennis!
10. The chair umpires are barely alive
15-love, 15-15, 30-15, 40-15, game Mr. Sampras. There should be a play by play guy on the loud speaker who yells out ace or screams with excitement when a player hits a passing shot etc. let's liven things up, no other major sport expects the action and only the action on the playing field to entertain, they all have other intangibles, tennis needs to incorporate little gimmicks to make every match an event not just a cure for insomniacs.
WS
