Kent Shrimper
Mike Reid
A spurs supporting colleague emailed me this. Maybe old but it made me chuckle
To the tune of: I will Survive
At first i was afraid, i was petrified
Seeing Carlos Tevez face to face, i almost died
His face looks like a wreck
And he's got no fvcking neck
& although he scored against us, he was on the losing side...
Cos we came back
From 2-0 down
We turned the cheers from the inbreds right back into frowns
They thought that they had won, they were laughing in their seats
But up popped Paul Stalteri & revenge was fvcking sweet
Cos we came back
Oh yes we did
It's moments like these that make you proud to be a yid
They may have beaten us last year
& we may have shed a tear
But they'll soon be playing Barnsley, QPR & Hull, oh dear....
Cos they are ****e
They're fvcking ****e
They lack passion, they lack spirit and they're really lacking fight
& they owe eachother money & they're no longer mates
They pretend their nan is ill and then fvck off to the States
YOU UGLY MUG
Sorry to shout
But what the fvck is Marlon Harewood all about?
& yossi Benayoun, will have a good game soon
& when he does, make the most of it, cos he's fvcking off in June
& Then there's Chav!
Bowyer you chav!
Have you ever dreamt of ****ting him, i know i have
You just know he's wearing burberry when he's out on the piiss
And he wears 3 gold medallions whilst marrying his sis...
& Etherington
Our old pal Matty
Running oh so fast with your side parting, looking slightly batty
When you joined the Hammers, you said they were a bigger club
Well enjoy your time in the championship you fvcking spastic mug....
West Ham are dead
They're in the red
The only one to come out with any credit is our Ted
& Maybe Dean Ashton cos he's been a fvcking flid
How will the Spammers feel next year when he becomes a yid
You wonder why?
You lot get mocked
When Curbishley spends millions on wasters that are crocked
You have Upson & Neill, who basically signed a 3 month deal
Cos he'll soon fvck you lot right off, oh yes he fvcking will...
And then there's Nige
The 'Wonder' Quashie
Is it really any 'wonder' that you're going down the kazi
he's been relegated before, with 4 different teams
He epitomises West Ham and all their shattered dreams....
And now that's it
I'm nearly done
I'm gonna bash one now thinking about the game we won
But one more thing about the fans who think they're fvcking great
You ain't, you've only got one song & you look a fvcking state
You bunch of ****s
No fvcking class
You can stick those fvcking bubbles right up your fvcking ***
You've got 'love' tattood on one hand, and 'hate' on the other
& you're slightly **** with 7 fingers cos you're sister is your mother
So i bid farewell
Take fvcking care
& remember Tevez & Ashton, we'll give you a fiver for the pair
You thought you were a big club, but it turns out you're not
Now we'll never play you again and i hope you fvcking rot.....
To the tune of: I will Survive
At first i was afraid, i was petrified
Seeing Carlos Tevez face to face, i almost died
His face looks like a wreck
And he's got no fvcking neck
& although he scored against us, he was on the losing side...
Cos we came back
From 2-0 down
We turned the cheers from the inbreds right back into frowns
They thought that they had won, they were laughing in their seats
But up popped Paul Stalteri & revenge was fvcking sweet
Cos we came back
Oh yes we did
It's moments like these that make you proud to be a yid
They may have beaten us last year
& we may have shed a tear
But they'll soon be playing Barnsley, QPR & Hull, oh dear....
Cos they are ****e
They're fvcking ****e
They lack passion, they lack spirit and they're really lacking fight
& they owe eachother money & they're no longer mates
They pretend their nan is ill and then fvck off to the States
YOU UGLY MUG
Sorry to shout
But what the fvck is Marlon Harewood all about?
& yossi Benayoun, will have a good game soon
& when he does, make the most of it, cos he's fvcking off in June
& Then there's Chav!
Bowyer you chav!
Have you ever dreamt of ****ting him, i know i have
You just know he's wearing burberry when he's out on the piiss
And he wears 3 gold medallions whilst marrying his sis...
& Etherington
Our old pal Matty
Running oh so fast with your side parting, looking slightly batty
When you joined the Hammers, you said they were a bigger club
Well enjoy your time in the championship you fvcking spastic mug....
West Ham are dead
They're in the red
The only one to come out with any credit is our Ted
& Maybe Dean Ashton cos he's been a fvcking flid
How will the Spammers feel next year when he becomes a yid
You wonder why?
You lot get mocked
When Curbishley spends millions on wasters that are crocked
You have Upson & Neill, who basically signed a 3 month deal
Cos he'll soon fvck you lot right off, oh yes he fvcking will...
And then there's Nige
The 'Wonder' Quashie
Is it really any 'wonder' that you're going down the kazi
he's been relegated before, with 4 different teams
He epitomises West Ham and all their shattered dreams....
And now that's it
I'm nearly done
I'm gonna bash one now thinking about the game we won
But one more thing about the fans who think they're fvcking great
You ain't, you've only got one song & you look a fvcking state
You bunch of ****s
No fvcking class
You can stick those fvcking bubbles right up your fvcking ***
You've got 'love' tattood on one hand, and 'hate' on the other
& you're slightly **** with 7 fingers cos you're sister is your mother
So i bid farewell
Take fvcking care
& remember Tevez & Ashton, we'll give you a fiver for the pair
You thought you were a big club, but it turns out you're not
Now we'll never play you again and i hope you fvcking rot.....
