Toe-curling embarrassement....

[A Century United]

We all have somewhere in our past done something so foolish or embarrassing that to think about it even now makes us hunch up and cringe.....

Mr. Cockles on the Fave Car thread posted a picture of the old three wheeler disability car (and a very non-pc but funny comment) but it reminded me of something that happened to my brother's friend back in the late '60's. This includes normal-for-then but not acceptable now comment, BTW.

My brother Jon (the one responsible for me being a Blue's fan, damn him) and his friend Dave were in the pub chatting up a young lady. The conversation got around to cars, and question was put to said lady "Does your dad have a car?" The reply, "Yes, a three wheeler.". Dave spluttered into his beer and guffawed "arf arf, spastic-wagon!" To which the young lady replied quietly: "Yes, as a matter of fact." Dave remained single needless to say.

So time for Catharsis, folk - what is it that you did that even now makes your skin creep when you think of it?

 

[MK Shrimper]

Long story short:

Shared house - unlocked door not my bedroom - rushed in as apparantly there was a leak into the flat below (thinking said owner of room was out) - said owner of room was "enjoying" her boyfriend.

I left very quickly and she put a lock on her door.

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

Mine was just after I started at Further Education College when I was a sweet & innocent 16 year-old.

The other guys on my course who I had become friendly with all lived a fair distance away and spent hours between classes in the refectory whereas I used to use most of my spare time for training.

However as the winter approached the weather got worse and I found myself spending more & more time in their company. Over the course of a few weeks we got to know a group of girls on the nursery nursing course and a lot of banter & flirting between the groups was going on. There was this one girl who really took my fancy but like me she seemed a bit shy and only ever spoke if there were other people there.

Now one of my mates got to find out I was interested in her & decided he would try and fix us up. However I think he just treated this as an opportunity to get up to some mischief as he kept spinning me various stories that she was interested but too busy etc etc.

One day I decided to take the bull by the horns and go for it, so in my lumbering teenage way I sauntered over and uttered the immortal lines (which still haunt me to this day) "Do you want to go out, OR WHAT?"

Suffice to say I wanted the ground to swallow me up as soon as I saw her reaction as well as heard the hysterical giggling from both respective groups of friends. We never spoke again :(

Good thread this Tom, been thinking about doing a SUFC related one for a while now........

 

[Slipperduke]

I was 12 years old and on a family visit to the Grandparents. We used to visit them quite often, about once a fortnight, and they were always the same. Cups of tea, small talk, my haven't you grown etc etc. Anyway, once I'd done my duty, I'd go out in the back garden and play with the dog.

We went round there this one afternoon and it was really hot. I went out into the back garden and I sat on a reclining deck chair and read a magazine, the dog curled up under the chair and went to sleep. It was very, very hot.

It wasn't even a rude magazine, in fact, I think it might have been Your Sinclair or something, but as anyone who has ever been a 12 year old boy knows, you can't control nature. God knows what happened inside my hormone-ravaged brain, heaven only understands what it was in a Spectrum games magazine that sent the chemicals whizzing through my body.

Only one thing is clear. In the blissful summer heat, on a reclining deckchair, in my Grandparent's garden, with their dog asleep underneath me, I began to absently tug myself off in the sunshine. I could have been there for hours, I really don't know. All I know is that the sound of an embarrassed cough brought me tumbling back into reality.

"Ahem," sounded my Dad from the backdoor, "When you're...erm...finished there, Son, we're making a move."

We've never spoken about it since.

 

[A Century United]

I was 12 years old and on a family visit to the Grandparents. We used to visit them quite often, .....

:eek: :eek:

The stuff of nightmares! Aaaaaghh, I'm not sure I should have started this.

:minger:

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

"Ahem," sounded my Dad from the backdoor, "When you're...erm...finished there, Son, we're making a move."

We've never spoken about it since.

:hilarious:

Only you, Slip... only you.

Actually, mine is in the same sort of region. The trouser region, that is, not the grandparental one.

Most of the gentlemen on here will have, I'm sure, experienced the phenomenon that is colloquially known as "Tired Wood". As an explanation for the ladies, this basically means that when you get sleepy, the blood in your body decides to head down to your nether regions (confirming the well-known adage that God gave man a brain and a knob, and enough blood to power one of them at any given moment).

While I was a student, I had a summer holiday job teaching English. Imagine a classroom arranged with seats in a U shape, with the teacher's chair in the middle at one end - a bit like this:

....*....
¦_¦

As a teacher, you got to perch on a high stool, which sat behind a low level table - this enabled you to see all of the class, and they could see you, as you conducted a largely spoken class.

And so it was, one particularly hot and sultry afternoon, that I found myself giving a dictation to the class. An especially boring dictation. And... I... had... been... out......... the........... night............. before...............zzzzzzzz.

Yes, I fell asleep while teaching a class, and while giving the class dictation. Embarrassing enough in itself, you might think.

But then, I was afflicted with a most egregious case of tired wood. While sitting on a high stool in front of the whole class.

And while wearing a pair of linen trousers.

Needless to say, most of the class saw my tumescence. And most of them, especially the pretty Polish girls, thought it appropriate to blush, point and p*ss themselves laughing. I'm blushing now at the thought of it, even though it probably happened about a decade ago.

So, there you go, that's my most embarrassing moment.

:o :eek:

 

[EastStandBlue]

Last year was my first year at University. Many, many drunken tales of stupidity, arousal and mischief have arisen from it, but there are definitely a few that I will choose to erase from my memory... As soon as my flatmates decide to let me.

One day we were incredibly bored. Inter-semester week meant we had a week off with nothing to do at all so we did what every student does: get obscenely drunk. My flatmate had a few friends down so we made a night of it and went to a club. There's a story that goes along with this one, it's long, tired and boring but the long and short of it is I was with a girl, then I wasn't because of various reasons, but we were pretty much on and off all year.

Exceedingly drunk, I ended up banging her mate back at my flat that night... Only, I forgot to lock my door in a drunken stupor and had a load of my mates rush in mid-session, take pictures and nick my duvet, leaving me and her there lying naked.

Story pretty much spread across campus quickly... with a little help from Facebook and me being tagged in pictures holding my manhood laughing my face off (Because, after all, it was hillarious).

The other girl said she found it funny, and that there was nothing wrong with it at all because we weren't together, but we barely talk now and it's probably because of this incident.




Perhaps I should be writing this in the "one who got away" thread instead...

 

[Cricko]

Last week when I stripped of in front of a young lady and she said ...."Is that it, my dad has bigger pipe cleaners than that"...

Hmmmm...

Ack-Shirley it was probably my Sister barging into my room when I was about 14 having a J Arthur Rank Some 15 years ago now,doesn't time fly .......:o

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Ack-Shirley it was probably my Sister barging into my room when I was about 14 having a J Arthur Rank Some 51 years ago now,doesn't time fly .......:o

Certainly does, mate...

(Indeed, only gentlemen of a certain age would know what a "J Arthur" is...!)

:finger:

 

[OldBlueLady]

Obviously a man thing then because I can honestly not think of anything to fit this category!

I have laughed out loud at some of these, maybe I've just always been too responsible, covered every contingency and just been too careful to get caught out - story of my life really!

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

Obviously a man thing then because I can honestly not think of anything to fit this category!

I have laughed out loud at some of these, maybe I've just always been too responsible, covered every contingency and just been too careful to get caught out - story of my life really!

Yeah right!
More like covered up any embarassing stories along the way!

Go on, spill, we won't laugh, promise!
Oh OK, we won't laugh, much! :p

 

[OldBlueLady]

Yeah right!
More like covered up any embarassing stories along the way!

Go on, spill, we won't laugh, promise!
Oh OK, we won't laugh, much! :p

Honest, mate, nothing. A few drunken episodes that've always ended up with a session on the big white telephone and then sleeping it off; a couple of close calls on the bedroom front, hearing the folks pull up outside in the car and walking nonchalantly down the stairs to greet them but nothing that comes close to these stories.