Things that I Have Learnt From Reading The Sun

[Hotman]

Things that I Have Learnt From Reading The Sun

-For every four birthdays you have, a Page 3 girl only has one. It's like the Leap Year of tits.

-If you are featured in the Problem Page photo story (continues tomorrow), chances are you are an attractive woman, who accidentally lezzes her equally attractive friend, and is left confused by her feelings.

-People who clearly have never read a book, or anything other than The Sun, in their lives, turn out to be quite prolific letter writers.

-It's okay to be a little bit racist. As long as you pretend to hate people for being asylum seekers, and not just because they are black.

-There is no problem on the political landscape that cannot be tackled by sending a big red bus and two girls who like to take their tits out in public.

-If you are unsure what to think about anything, there is a column on the left hand side of Page Six everyday that will do your thinking for you.

-When a Princess dies, you get no tits on page three for about two weeks. It's what she would have wanted.

-Brussells can go **** itself, but we should all go to France for £1.

-All Muslims are mental, and want to kill you. Moderate Muslims only moderately want to kill you. but they still want to kill you.

-If 30,000 people die in a foreign country, it can only make the front page if some (usually about three) 'Britons' are also killed. Otherwise it's just some more dead brown people, and there's plenty more where they came from.

 

[BLUEBLOOD]

Good effort again carl :clap: :clap:

 

[Mad Cyril]

- We will take the moral high ground when offered invasive pictures of 'Kate and Wills' but if they happen to be of a minor soap star we will splash them all over the front page.

 

[Napster]

Terry Venables is the saviour of English football

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

- We will take the moral high ground when offered invasive pictures of 'Kate and Wills' but if they happen to be of a minor soap star we will splash them all over the front page.

good point although Celebs who crave stardom and all the trappings that come with it are slightly different to someone who is born in to the lime light and does not have a great deal of choice in the matter

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

Is it still true the price and the date are the only factually correct details in the rag??

 

[Uncle Leo]

Good effort again carl :clap: :clap:

I should say so. Wonderful cutting and pasting skills.

 

[Gremlin]

How much does that pile of **** cost these days?

 

[Napster]

How much does that pile of **** cost these days?

About 0,50 €

 

[Jedi Shrimper]

Is it still true the price and the date are the only factually correct details in the rag??

Maybe just the date, the price must be a joke.

Things I've learnt from reading the Sun.....not to read the Sun.

 

[MrB]

At least you don't have to turn too many pages to find The Sun's two redeeming features.

 

[Uncle Leo]

At least you don't have to turn too many pages to find The Sun's two redeeming features.

Not so. George and Lynne is usually on about page 36.

 

[Napster]

One bank trader I used to know set his FX settings (whether to go short or long on the dollar) purely on what way the Page 3 bird's Bruce Lees were facing that morning. He made a fortune.

 

[loz]

I'd take the Sun over the Mail or Express every day from now until eternity.

 

[Rayleigh Blue]

people always knock the sun but will read it on the train in and leave it on the train and walk into work with times or telegrah

 

[please delete my account]

people always knock the sun but will read it on the train in and leave it on the train and walk into work with times or telegrah

I have to admit to doing something similar when visiting my chums at their workplace.
I used to read Viz on the train but then buy copies of Razzle and Over 55 for when I got to the Stock Exchange.

 

[duncan bulgaria]

What i like about the Sun is the way they protect the identity of the poor animals that have been victims to a few sicko attacks , the 2 storie's that spring to mind was one chap who got caught with his flies down at the exact time a train broke down and all the paasengers wher looking out of the window enjoying the scencic view .

The picture in the rag had the scumbag fellas picture and a picture of a cow with its eyes blacked out to save his embarrasmentt from fellow cows , good work .

 

[Ricky Otto]

I like the way they take such high moral outrage in a story but still couple it with a humourous headline.
Story: A paedophile has been rehoused after prison in a tower block over looking a school
Headline: Perves eye view
as illustrated in Russell Brands 1st stand up DVD

 

[Hotman]

I should say so. Wonderful cutting and pasting skills.

Indeed - I have even learnt to press control and c and control and v, has increased my efficiency

 

[Southend_Lady]

- that nothing else is more factually true, my moto is "if its not in The Sun, then it's not true" - live by this and you will never go wrong.