Uncle Leo
This cook is an anti-semite
PANTO SEASON IN FULL SWING AT ROOTS HALL
Roll up! Roll up! Come and see the Christmas pantomime. No – not Dick Whittington at the Cliffs, or The Wizard of Oz at the Palace, but one that beats the lot – Cinderella at Roots Hall. Why Cinderella? Because no Southend players went to the ball (at least not until a Birmingham player had got there first).
OK, that possibly is harsh. Firstly, we were up against the league leaders. Secondly, I said in my Spurs report that the sheer effort expended by the players on Wednesday may take its toll on Saturday. And I also didn’t reckon on us having to contend with the villain of the piece, referee Mr M Thorpe (Boooo Hissss).
All went according to plan for the first 10 minutes. Southend started as they had against Spurs – solid at the back, quick interchanges in midfield, but no cutting edge. But then the game changed on one incident. Bradbury was left pole-axed by a late (and possibly two footed) lunge by a Birmingham player on the halfway line. I’ve seen players sent off for less. But the evil Mr Thorpe (Boooo Hissss) didn’t even acknowledge that a foul had been committed. As Birmingham played the ball forward there was half an expectation that the ball would be knocked out of play so that the prostrate Bradbury could get treatment. Birmingham didn’t think so – and I have no complaint about that – but unfortunately the ball eventually ran to DJ Campbell who rifled in a fine shot from the edge of the box. Good finish but the ball should never have got there in the first place.
Southends players and fans were rightly incensed. Then Mr Thorpe (Boooo Hissss) made matters worse by completely ignoring the fact that Jaidi used Bradbury as a step ladder in the penalty area to head a ball clear. Anywhere else on the pitch and that would be a free kick. But give a penalty to Southend against the champions elect? Oh no he didn’t (Oh yes he did) – sadly, oh no he didn’t.
The visitors huge centre forward, Nicklas Bentder (panto name – Nickle-arse Bender) thought he was appearing in Puss in boots as he was a complete fairy and didn’t look very good at all. More like Wuss in boots if you ask me. He then showed his true colours with a post-tackle stamp on McCormack that left the midfielder sprawled across the pitch. Not even a free kick was given that saw the player receive extensive on-pitch treatment and a doctors attention off it with heavy bandaging before he could continue.
Sadler then upended JCR in spectacular style that on another day would have warranted a red card but Mr Thorpe (Booo Hisss) saw fit to only show a yellow one.
Through all this period Birmingham were actually looking rather uncomfortable. Southend had the better of the play but unfortunately created precious little to show for it. McCormack missed the only real chance we had when he ran onto a beatiful pass from Gower, chested it down but shot wide with only Taylor to beat.
At the other end, Southends own Baron Hardnut (Sodje) made a few uncharacteristic mistakes however. From a Birmingham break the ball found it’s way across goal to the unmarked Clemence at the back of the box (He’s behind you) whose mish!t shot bobbled and bounced over Flahavan into the far corner. 2-0 and that was that really.
In the second half Birmingham stroked the ball around and there did look to be a huge gulf in class between the teams. Mr Thorpe (Booo Hiss) even managed to cheese the visiting fans off by failing to play advantage and not allowing a perfectly good goal, preferring instead to bring the play back for a free kick on the edge of the box. It didn’t matter though as McSheffrey fired the free kick home. 3-0.
Tilson made a triple substitution on the hour to try and change the game. Off came the injured McCormack for Francis, who dropped to right back to allow Hunt to slot into midfield. On came young Gary Hooper for the totally effective Eastwood who must have surely now earned his move. There is absolutely no point in him being here if he is going to play the way he has in the last 3 games. Finally Harrold came on as well, not for Bradbury or Gower as I had been expecting but for Campbell-Ryce who was actually up to that point the only Southend player who looked as though he could create something. I didn’t understand the last one.
However, within minutes we had created our best and only chance of the match. A deep cross from the right was headed back across goal for Hooper, 3 yards out who somehow headed wide of an empty net. That summed it all up really.
Apart from a Hammell free kick that forced Taylor to making a save at the foot of the post we didn’t feature as an attacking force at all. On several occasions a Southend player could have fired a shot of but we just seemed to want to try and walk the ball in. The rout was complete with 6 minutes left when Jaidi rose above everyone to head home and inflict the worst defeat of the season upon us. Unfortunately, this particular pantomime didn’t end with a wedding and was over as a contest long before the final whistle. Oh yes it was.
How Tilson rallies the troops after this showing I don’t know. Our next 2 opponents, Norwich and Coventry, both have incredible respect for Eastwood and will be fearing him. For that reason and that reason only he must start. If we put him on the bench (as we should do to be honest) then we will be handing them a massive psychological boost. But surely some of the fringe players must start, if only to let the wounds and muscles heal a bit.
Ratings –
Flahavan – 6 – Why the persistence in kicking to the smallest person on the pitch, JCR? Couldn’t really be blamed for any of the goals although perhaps he should have saved the free kick for their 3rd?
Hunt – 6 – Fairly anonymous actually. Didn’t impose himself in midfield when he went there after an hour.
Hammell – 6 – One good free kick, otherwise distribution a bit awry.
Sodje – 6 –. Won plenty in the air against a handful centre forward but made a few uncharacteristic mistakes.
Clarke – 8 – MOM – Started where he left off against Spurs and made several fantastic interceptions and tackles. Hopefully this “waste of money” tag that he seems to have been unfairly labelled with has now been dropped. Ok, his didtribution from the floor isn’t great, but then that’s not necessarily a pre-requisite for a centre half.
Gower – 6 – Give him his due, even when things aren’t going his way, he always wants the ball and is willing to try something. Unfortunately today was “one of those days”.
Maher – 6 – This was the Maher of old – one who insisted on just chipping the ball up to no-one in particular at almost every opportunity. Yes, he made some good tackles but there wasn’t one incisive pass forward which is essential for you supposed play-maker.
McCormack – 7 – Full of running but was subbed on 60 minutes and may be doubtful for Norwich. If so, he will be missed.
Campbell-Ryce – 7 – Couldn’t understand his substitution. Was having a fine game up to then.
Bradbury – 6 – It was almost like playing on his own up front. Didn’t get the ball to hold up as much as he did against Southampton.
Eastwood – 4 – Has he already left us? He may as well be playing for someone else as he did absolutely nothing today.
Subs –
Harrold – 6.5 – Offered something else but was never going to make much impact on their defence.
Hooper – 6.5 – Missed an open goal but showed some nice touches
Francis – 7 – Put over some decent crosses and has the athleticism we need at the moment. Should perhaps start against Norwich.
Roll up! Roll up! Come and see the Christmas pantomime. No – not Dick Whittington at the Cliffs, or The Wizard of Oz at the Palace, but one that beats the lot – Cinderella at Roots Hall. Why Cinderella? Because no Southend players went to the ball (at least not until a Birmingham player had got there first).
OK, that possibly is harsh. Firstly, we were up against the league leaders. Secondly, I said in my Spurs report that the sheer effort expended by the players on Wednesday may take its toll on Saturday. And I also didn’t reckon on us having to contend with the villain of the piece, referee Mr M Thorpe (Boooo Hissss).
All went according to plan for the first 10 minutes. Southend started as they had against Spurs – solid at the back, quick interchanges in midfield, but no cutting edge. But then the game changed on one incident. Bradbury was left pole-axed by a late (and possibly two footed) lunge by a Birmingham player on the halfway line. I’ve seen players sent off for less. But the evil Mr Thorpe (Boooo Hissss) didn’t even acknowledge that a foul had been committed. As Birmingham played the ball forward there was half an expectation that the ball would be knocked out of play so that the prostrate Bradbury could get treatment. Birmingham didn’t think so – and I have no complaint about that – but unfortunately the ball eventually ran to DJ Campbell who rifled in a fine shot from the edge of the box. Good finish but the ball should never have got there in the first place.
Southends players and fans were rightly incensed. Then Mr Thorpe (Boooo Hissss) made matters worse by completely ignoring the fact that Jaidi used Bradbury as a step ladder in the penalty area to head a ball clear. Anywhere else on the pitch and that would be a free kick. But give a penalty to Southend against the champions elect? Oh no he didn’t (Oh yes he did) – sadly, oh no he didn’t.
The visitors huge centre forward, Nicklas Bentder (panto name – Nickle-arse Bender) thought he was appearing in Puss in boots as he was a complete fairy and didn’t look very good at all. More like Wuss in boots if you ask me. He then showed his true colours with a post-tackle stamp on McCormack that left the midfielder sprawled across the pitch. Not even a free kick was given that saw the player receive extensive on-pitch treatment and a doctors attention off it with heavy bandaging before he could continue.
Sadler then upended JCR in spectacular style that on another day would have warranted a red card but Mr Thorpe (Booo Hisss) saw fit to only show a yellow one.
Through all this period Birmingham were actually looking rather uncomfortable. Southend had the better of the play but unfortunately created precious little to show for it. McCormack missed the only real chance we had when he ran onto a beatiful pass from Gower, chested it down but shot wide with only Taylor to beat.
At the other end, Southends own Baron Hardnut (Sodje) made a few uncharacteristic mistakes however. From a Birmingham break the ball found it’s way across goal to the unmarked Clemence at the back of the box (He’s behind you) whose mish!t shot bobbled and bounced over Flahavan into the far corner. 2-0 and that was that really.
In the second half Birmingham stroked the ball around and there did look to be a huge gulf in class between the teams. Mr Thorpe (Booo Hiss) even managed to cheese the visiting fans off by failing to play advantage and not allowing a perfectly good goal, preferring instead to bring the play back for a free kick on the edge of the box. It didn’t matter though as McSheffrey fired the free kick home. 3-0.
Tilson made a triple substitution on the hour to try and change the game. Off came the injured McCormack for Francis, who dropped to right back to allow Hunt to slot into midfield. On came young Gary Hooper for the totally effective Eastwood who must have surely now earned his move. There is absolutely no point in him being here if he is going to play the way he has in the last 3 games. Finally Harrold came on as well, not for Bradbury or Gower as I had been expecting but for Campbell-Ryce who was actually up to that point the only Southend player who looked as though he could create something. I didn’t understand the last one.
However, within minutes we had created our best and only chance of the match. A deep cross from the right was headed back across goal for Hooper, 3 yards out who somehow headed wide of an empty net. That summed it all up really.
Apart from a Hammell free kick that forced Taylor to making a save at the foot of the post we didn’t feature as an attacking force at all. On several occasions a Southend player could have fired a shot of but we just seemed to want to try and walk the ball in. The rout was complete with 6 minutes left when Jaidi rose above everyone to head home and inflict the worst defeat of the season upon us. Unfortunately, this particular pantomime didn’t end with a wedding and was over as a contest long before the final whistle. Oh yes it was.
How Tilson rallies the troops after this showing I don’t know. Our next 2 opponents, Norwich and Coventry, both have incredible respect for Eastwood and will be fearing him. For that reason and that reason only he must start. If we put him on the bench (as we should do to be honest) then we will be handing them a massive psychological boost. But surely some of the fringe players must start, if only to let the wounds and muscles heal a bit.
Ratings –
Flahavan – 6 – Why the persistence in kicking to the smallest person on the pitch, JCR? Couldn’t really be blamed for any of the goals although perhaps he should have saved the free kick for their 3rd?
Hunt – 6 – Fairly anonymous actually. Didn’t impose himself in midfield when he went there after an hour.
Hammell – 6 – One good free kick, otherwise distribution a bit awry.
Sodje – 6 –. Won plenty in the air against a handful centre forward but made a few uncharacteristic mistakes.
Clarke – 8 – MOM – Started where he left off against Spurs and made several fantastic interceptions and tackles. Hopefully this “waste of money” tag that he seems to have been unfairly labelled with has now been dropped. Ok, his didtribution from the floor isn’t great, but then that’s not necessarily a pre-requisite for a centre half.
Gower – 6 – Give him his due, even when things aren’t going his way, he always wants the ball and is willing to try something. Unfortunately today was “one of those days”.
Maher – 6 – This was the Maher of old – one who insisted on just chipping the ball up to no-one in particular at almost every opportunity. Yes, he made some good tackles but there wasn’t one incisive pass forward which is essential for you supposed play-maker.
McCormack – 7 – Full of running but was subbed on 60 minutes and may be doubtful for Norwich. If so, he will be missed.
Campbell-Ryce – 7 – Couldn’t understand his substitution. Was having a fine game up to then.
Bradbury – 6 – It was almost like playing on his own up front. Didn’t get the ball to hold up as much as he did against Southampton.
Eastwood – 4 – Has he already left us? He may as well be playing for someone else as he did absolutely nothing today.
Subs –
Harrold – 6.5 – Offered something else but was never going to make much impact on their defence.
Hooper – 6.5 – Missed an open goal but showed some nice touches
Francis – 7 – Put over some decent crosses and has the athleticism we need at the moment. Should perhaps start against Norwich.
