fbm
Blue tinted optimist⭐
As promised on another thread, here you go. Listen, I hope that it is all taken in good spirit. No offence intended to anyone.
RON MARTIN vs THE REST OF THE WORLD
World series exhibition match - draw at full time - awaiting penalty shoot out
As we go into the shoot out, which, after all, is a lottery, here are my ratings on what has been a roller coaster of a contest played out over several years.
Mr Martin – “Uncle Ron” as he was once affectionately known but who is now more often referred to as Con Martin, Ron Fartin, RM or more simply just ****, looks to have almost failed in his quest for the FF&RH Development Trophy (sponsored by WONGA).
**** started well and it looked as though this contest was going to be over fairly quickly. He did the right things, said the right things, courted major supermarkets and completely had Sainsbury’s under his spell. Weaving this way and that, he had the chain so tied up in knots that it took a credit crisis and £5m for them to extricate themselves from the battle without suffering further pain.
Unfortunately the credit crisis also hampered ****’s progress as he couldn’t get the ball over the line.
There followed a long period of stalemate as each side tried to find their feet… the Rest of the World using HMRC as their main protagonist but occasionally having to rely on Southend Council and even the Secretary of State to thwart Martin’s attacks.
It was clear that from day 1, **** had the complete measure of HMRC, knowing exactly what to do to totally nullify any threat to the prize, their involvement seeming only to be to a minor annoyance to his progress. His appetite seemed boundless as he manoeuvred right and left, collecting energy and lifelines like Pac-Man in a flowing wig.
But the opposition was now starting to turn. More and more adversaries stood in his way and for a period of time it looked as though his challenge would be trumped. However, the Martin defence stood firm as his associates were forever moving the goalposts along the line at his instruction, meaning that a decisive knock out blow was impossible to deliver.
This was truly a titanic struggle and then up stepped the EFL, placing the club under a series of embargos in an attempt to stifle the life blood out of his challenge. Not to be outdone, **** batted each one back every time, but it was having an effect. He had been too easy with the money and contracts on starstruck ex-famous names and tried to bring Henrik Larsen in as an ally. When that failed, he turned to Harry Redknapp, who it was hoped would bring some much needed support for the regime.
It was not to be… Martin started to make big mistakes, bringing in Kevin Bond and then Sol Campbell to support his regime and they both let him down badly before he got rid.
The opposition was growing and there was a huge groundswell of support for change, but Martin was not to be deterred. His cronies were still constantly moving the goalposts along the goal line, left right, up and down so that a decisive goal against could not be scored.
Meanwhile, the prospect of ever winning the Development Trophy seemed to be closer than ever, but at the same time more and more unattainable. The club was falling down and out of the EFL, potentially rendering the need for the development unnecessary in its present form. Some saw this as a deliberate tactic to kill the club and deliberately avoid the costs of building the stadium at all; others thought this was ridiculous and fan started to be pitted against fan. Was this a classic “Divide and Conquer” move by **** to try and get the prize? The focus was now longer on him as the supporters started to squabble amongst themselves.
But Martin was clearly flagging and refusing all assistance, trying to do everything himself. Could this potentially be the thing that led to his defeat?
On the pitch and at the club things got worse and worse until a series of inspired substitutions by the RoW brought in club legend Stan Collymore and soon after the help that was needed for the club to continue in CEO Tom Lawrence. New management team Darren Currie and other club legends Mark Bentley and Kevin Maher, combined with highly respected lower league diamond picker John Still came in to steady the ship and things started to improve. The “Gang of Five” were well and truly on track to produce a solid outcome for all.
The irony was that that also gave **** the strength to continue. Promotion back to the EFL would increase the coffers and his power would grow, the Trophy would be won and there was a feeling amongst some that everyone could actually win here. The RoW would just have to be patient. Once the prize had been attained, Martin would sell up and retreat, the club would have a new home and maybe, just maybe, the demeanours of the last 25 years would be forgotten and **** would eventually be remembered more fondly.
A series of Zoom meetings were held and **** tried to reassure the crowd by assuring them how much he ****ing loved the club. A slightly uneasy truce developed and the club hit a tremendous run of results, were approaching the play off zone and then Martin made a massive miscalculation.
He didn’t pay the club staff.
Of all the things that had happened, this was the straw that broke the camels back. A fan led movement started and they began to turn on Uncle Ron, now seeing him through very different eyes. There was no coming back from this and the pressure started to grow. Things were held together on the pitch until the players weren’t paid either and one of the group, Kacper Lopata, broke loose and left. That put the kibosh on any hopes of promotion and angered the mob even more; their U19 international star player had walked for free. Martin took to the courts for restitution but failed – twice – and Lopata showed the others the way.
Up stepped Carl with an offer of a ton of money but Ron refused; in the meantime the club was under a permanent embargo and HMRC had issued winding up petitions which **** had dismissed. However, it was now not so easy. **** failed to get enough life tokens to see through the season properly and finally announced he had had enough and was effectively surrendering by putting the club up for sale.
After the initial euphoria it became clear that Martin was wounded. HMRC saw their chance and went for the jugular, but with **** on the ropes and the judge ready to call time on the whole thing, he gave Martin a further chance. It appeared that a group called Kimura had come forward to deliver the knockout blow. #Wallop – in came the shot and it was 95% over the line. Somehow Martin stopped the ball crossing the line as the goalposts were moved hastily all around the goalmouth. In an attempt to force the ball in, Kimura waited patiently for the goalposts to return to their earlier position but that never happened and in the end they started to lose interest.
Martin had now seemingly lured everyone into a false sense of security and it appeared that he still wanted to cling to power. There were stories of other investors and apparent Martin allies in Wolfy and Clairvoyant suddenly appeared on the scene.
All this was too much for the fanbase who were suddenly thrown into turmoil. They had instigated the pressure that was now looking to not only rid the club of **** but also kill the club at the same time. The law of unintended consequences was in play and there was no way back.
Exiles panicked, there was extreme mental health issues for both young and old. Everyone knew something and no-one knew anything as stories of the sale or death of the club abounded. Medway Blue, Yorkshire Blue, Boy Wonder and certain others talked some sense but others certainly didn’t. Some couldn’t bear to watch, simply appearing every 500 posts or so saying they couldn’t be bothered to read everything and had anything happened or changed? Others focused entirely on how many different expletives they could use for **** and there were some like Rayleigh Boy who just ignored reality.
In the end, demonstrations were planned and this seemed to turn the pressure on ****’s family who almost became RoW supporters. A further appearance in court in mid July was seen to be definitive one way or another yet Martin pulled another rabbit out of the hat in an unexpected move giving a further 42 days of pain.
But with the new season 3 weeks away, all of a sudden the National League appeared with a Sword of Damocles hovering over the clubs head. It became clear that if the club were killed, Martin could end up getting the prize anyway and more panic set in. The mood amongst the ITK’s was sombre and just one lone voice, Shrimpet Steve, piped up with such unbridled optimism that it even got a like from our Stan.
The protests continued and one long rolling protest one Saturday got the most coverage. There was no hiding place now; the game was up. The only issue would be if the club would survive as well. As a result, Ron appeared to stop moving the goalposts and made his terms public for the first time.
With normal time running out, the contest got national coverage but all the media sources were too late to the party to be of help. Crate, who had once promised to put out a documentary within “days, not weeks” made a film outside Martin’s house at the rolling protest and held a Twitter Space together with the two local MPs who had also become embroiled in the battle. The tide was turning but time was running out.
And then, in an unforeseen and surprise development, Martin obtained permission to pay all football debts so that the club can start the season.
The contest was therefore officially drawn and with the club now on life support, we now go straight to penalties.
Up step the penalty takers – 5 local businessmen who want to buy the club on Ron’s terms.
It remains to be seen if they can get the ball over the line now or whether the whole thing will collapse, meaning almost certain death for SUFC.
RoW Ratings –
Sainsburys – 8 – Thanks for the £5m.
HMRC – 2 – Marks given for persistence but left shooting boots at home
The National League – 8 – Showing impressive patience and compassion over a difficult issue
Henrik Larsen – 1 – Big name, never got involved before being subbed
Harry Redknapp – 2 – Minor involvement and assistance but no thanks for the Bond recommendation.
Stan Collymore – 9 – Really made a difference when coming on and started the fightback
The Gang of Five – 9.5 – Unbelievable (and unpaid) loyalty. We are lucky to have them.
Crate – 7 – Great intentions, questionable delivery but heart in the right place
The Shrimperzone Mods – 10 - MOM – Voluntary and unpaid work in keeping this all together. Impossible to improve upon.
The fans – 9 – Best intentions, questionable logic at times but all coming from a good place.
Kimura – 8 – Nearly secured the win with a #Wallop but faded late on.
The ref –
The Courts – 9 – Always made the right decision and are now actively assisting the sale.
RON MARTIN vs THE REST OF THE WORLD
World series exhibition match - draw at full time - awaiting penalty shoot out
As we go into the shoot out, which, after all, is a lottery, here are my ratings on what has been a roller coaster of a contest played out over several years.
Mr Martin – “Uncle Ron” as he was once affectionately known but who is now more often referred to as Con Martin, Ron Fartin, RM or more simply just ****, looks to have almost failed in his quest for the FF&RH Development Trophy (sponsored by WONGA).
**** started well and it looked as though this contest was going to be over fairly quickly. He did the right things, said the right things, courted major supermarkets and completely had Sainsbury’s under his spell. Weaving this way and that, he had the chain so tied up in knots that it took a credit crisis and £5m for them to extricate themselves from the battle without suffering further pain.
Unfortunately the credit crisis also hampered ****’s progress as he couldn’t get the ball over the line.
There followed a long period of stalemate as each side tried to find their feet… the Rest of the World using HMRC as their main protagonist but occasionally having to rely on Southend Council and even the Secretary of State to thwart Martin’s attacks.
It was clear that from day 1, **** had the complete measure of HMRC, knowing exactly what to do to totally nullify any threat to the prize, their involvement seeming only to be to a minor annoyance to his progress. His appetite seemed boundless as he manoeuvred right and left, collecting energy and lifelines like Pac-Man in a flowing wig.
But the opposition was now starting to turn. More and more adversaries stood in his way and for a period of time it looked as though his challenge would be trumped. However, the Martin defence stood firm as his associates were forever moving the goalposts along the line at his instruction, meaning that a decisive knock out blow was impossible to deliver.
This was truly a titanic struggle and then up stepped the EFL, placing the club under a series of embargos in an attempt to stifle the life blood out of his challenge. Not to be outdone, **** batted each one back every time, but it was having an effect. He had been too easy with the money and contracts on starstruck ex-famous names and tried to bring Henrik Larsen in as an ally. When that failed, he turned to Harry Redknapp, who it was hoped would bring some much needed support for the regime.
It was not to be… Martin started to make big mistakes, bringing in Kevin Bond and then Sol Campbell to support his regime and they both let him down badly before he got rid.
The opposition was growing and there was a huge groundswell of support for change, but Martin was not to be deterred. His cronies were still constantly moving the goalposts along the goal line, left right, up and down so that a decisive goal against could not be scored.
Meanwhile, the prospect of ever winning the Development Trophy seemed to be closer than ever, but at the same time more and more unattainable. The club was falling down and out of the EFL, potentially rendering the need for the development unnecessary in its present form. Some saw this as a deliberate tactic to kill the club and deliberately avoid the costs of building the stadium at all; others thought this was ridiculous and fan started to be pitted against fan. Was this a classic “Divide and Conquer” move by **** to try and get the prize? The focus was now longer on him as the supporters started to squabble amongst themselves.
But Martin was clearly flagging and refusing all assistance, trying to do everything himself. Could this potentially be the thing that led to his defeat?
On the pitch and at the club things got worse and worse until a series of inspired substitutions by the RoW brought in club legend Stan Collymore and soon after the help that was needed for the club to continue in CEO Tom Lawrence. New management team Darren Currie and other club legends Mark Bentley and Kevin Maher, combined with highly respected lower league diamond picker John Still came in to steady the ship and things started to improve. The “Gang of Five” were well and truly on track to produce a solid outcome for all.
The irony was that that also gave **** the strength to continue. Promotion back to the EFL would increase the coffers and his power would grow, the Trophy would be won and there was a feeling amongst some that everyone could actually win here. The RoW would just have to be patient. Once the prize had been attained, Martin would sell up and retreat, the club would have a new home and maybe, just maybe, the demeanours of the last 25 years would be forgotten and **** would eventually be remembered more fondly.
A series of Zoom meetings were held and **** tried to reassure the crowd by assuring them how much he ****ing loved the club. A slightly uneasy truce developed and the club hit a tremendous run of results, were approaching the play off zone and then Martin made a massive miscalculation.
He didn’t pay the club staff.
Of all the things that had happened, this was the straw that broke the camels back. A fan led movement started and they began to turn on Uncle Ron, now seeing him through very different eyes. There was no coming back from this and the pressure started to grow. Things were held together on the pitch until the players weren’t paid either and one of the group, Kacper Lopata, broke loose and left. That put the kibosh on any hopes of promotion and angered the mob even more; their U19 international star player had walked for free. Martin took to the courts for restitution but failed – twice – and Lopata showed the others the way.
Up stepped Carl with an offer of a ton of money but Ron refused; in the meantime the club was under a permanent embargo and HMRC had issued winding up petitions which **** had dismissed. However, it was now not so easy. **** failed to get enough life tokens to see through the season properly and finally announced he had had enough and was effectively surrendering by putting the club up for sale.
After the initial euphoria it became clear that Martin was wounded. HMRC saw their chance and went for the jugular, but with **** on the ropes and the judge ready to call time on the whole thing, he gave Martin a further chance. It appeared that a group called Kimura had come forward to deliver the knockout blow. #Wallop – in came the shot and it was 95% over the line. Somehow Martin stopped the ball crossing the line as the goalposts were moved hastily all around the goalmouth. In an attempt to force the ball in, Kimura waited patiently for the goalposts to return to their earlier position but that never happened and in the end they started to lose interest.
Martin had now seemingly lured everyone into a false sense of security and it appeared that he still wanted to cling to power. There were stories of other investors and apparent Martin allies in Wolfy and Clairvoyant suddenly appeared on the scene.
All this was too much for the fanbase who were suddenly thrown into turmoil. They had instigated the pressure that was now looking to not only rid the club of **** but also kill the club at the same time. The law of unintended consequences was in play and there was no way back.
Exiles panicked, there was extreme mental health issues for both young and old. Everyone knew something and no-one knew anything as stories of the sale or death of the club abounded. Medway Blue, Yorkshire Blue, Boy Wonder and certain others talked some sense but others certainly didn’t. Some couldn’t bear to watch, simply appearing every 500 posts or so saying they couldn’t be bothered to read everything and had anything happened or changed? Others focused entirely on how many different expletives they could use for **** and there were some like Rayleigh Boy who just ignored reality.
In the end, demonstrations were planned and this seemed to turn the pressure on ****’s family who almost became RoW supporters. A further appearance in court in mid July was seen to be definitive one way or another yet Martin pulled another rabbit out of the hat in an unexpected move giving a further 42 days of pain.
But with the new season 3 weeks away, all of a sudden the National League appeared with a Sword of Damocles hovering over the clubs head. It became clear that if the club were killed, Martin could end up getting the prize anyway and more panic set in. The mood amongst the ITK’s was sombre and just one lone voice, Shrimpet Steve, piped up with such unbridled optimism that it even got a like from our Stan.
The protests continued and one long rolling protest one Saturday got the most coverage. There was no hiding place now; the game was up. The only issue would be if the club would survive as well. As a result, Ron appeared to stop moving the goalposts and made his terms public for the first time.
With normal time running out, the contest got national coverage but all the media sources were too late to the party to be of help. Crate, who had once promised to put out a documentary within “days, not weeks” made a film outside Martin’s house at the rolling protest and held a Twitter Space together with the two local MPs who had also become embroiled in the battle. The tide was turning but time was running out.
And then, in an unforeseen and surprise development, Martin obtained permission to pay all football debts so that the club can start the season.
The contest was therefore officially drawn and with the club now on life support, we now go straight to penalties.
Up step the penalty takers – 5 local businessmen who want to buy the club on Ron’s terms.
It remains to be seen if they can get the ball over the line now or whether the whole thing will collapse, meaning almost certain death for SUFC.
RoW Ratings –
Sainsburys – 8 – Thanks for the £5m.
HMRC – 2 – Marks given for persistence but left shooting boots at home
The National League – 8 – Showing impressive patience and compassion over a difficult issue
Henrik Larsen – 1 – Big name, never got involved before being subbed
Harry Redknapp – 2 – Minor involvement and assistance but no thanks for the Bond recommendation.
Stan Collymore – 9 – Really made a difference when coming on and started the fightback
The Gang of Five – 9.5 – Unbelievable (and unpaid) loyalty. We are lucky to have them.
Crate – 7 – Great intentions, questionable delivery but heart in the right place
The Shrimperzone Mods – 10 - MOM – Voluntary and unpaid work in keeping this all together. Impossible to improve upon.
The fans – 9 – Best intentions, questionable logic at times but all coming from a good place.
Kimura – 8 – Nearly secured the win with a #Wallop but faded late on.
The ref –
The Courts – 9 – Always made the right decision and are now actively assisting the sale.
