Tea

[C C Csiders]

I hate tea. Can't stand it.

I hate all the paraphernalia surrounding tea, the rituals, the ooh! let's stop and have a cup of tea bits about it.

It's dreadful stuff.

Tea should be banned unless you are over 60, and then phased out following the death of all those that will still be allowed to drink it because they are over 60 now.

Why do older people say "would you like a nice cup of tea?" Why a nice one, no I want a disgusting one! Why would I want to partake of anything that wasn't nice. Do not say "a nice cup of tea" because if you do I will remove your head from your shoulders with a machete.

Why in my office do the women say who wants a tea (they have stopped using the "nice" prefix, after the last nasty machete incident)? And then, rather than one of them go the kettle to make three or four cups, al the women get up and crowd round the kettle and wait until it boils and then stay around until all cups are made. Timewasters!

Worst of all people who have a cup (or mug if in the north) of tea with their food. Disgusting!

Northerners saying "poot kettle on love" - AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!

Lastly I hate the view the rest of the world has of us all drinking tea, like some ghastly Merchant/Ivory film, in halcyon days of empire.

 

[Guest]

BUt I like tea...

 

[Xàbia Shrimper]

I love a good cup of Rosie ...

 

[BlueJ]

I'd rather drink plain old water any day!

 

[ph437]

OMG that was funny

 

[sufcintheprem]

I like a nice cup of tea but the horrible cups aren't as nice.

On a related note, have you noticed how certain women in the office, if the place to get tea is more than 60 strides away, talk about getting a cup of tea soon to everyone within sight?

I reckon keep going with the machete.

 

[Wessex Blue]

Quote[/b] (C C Csiders @ May 09 2006,11:02)]I hate tea. Can't stand it.

I hate all the paraphernalia surrounding tea, the rituals, the ooh! let's stop and have a cup of tea bits about it.

It's dreadful stuff.

Tea should be banned unless you are over 60, and then phased out following the death of all those that will still be allowed to drink it because they are over 60 now.

Why do older people say "would you like a nice cup of tea?" Why a nice one, no I want a disgusting one! Why would I want to partake of anything that wasn't nice. Do not say "a nice cup of tea" because if you do I will remove your head from your shoulders with a machete.

Why in my office do the women say who wants a tea (they have stopped using the "nice" prefix, after the last nasty machete incident)? And then, rather than one of them go the kettle to make three or four cups, al the women get up and crowd round the kettle and wait until it boils and then stay around until all cups are made. Timewasters!

Worst of all people who have a cup (or mug if in the north) of tea with their food. Disgusting!

Northerners saying "poot kettle on love" - AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!

Lastly I hate the view the rest of the world has of us all drinking tea, like some ghastly Merchant/Ivory film, in halcyon days of empire.

Clearly you're a wrongun and not a true Englishman. A nice cup of tea is what made Britain Great. Tea is a balm to soothe the nations aches and pains whereas coffee is the drink of untrusworthy foreigners and nancy boys.

Can there be anything camper than a grown man going into a poncey coffee shop and asking for a half & half or a latte?

Whats even worse is that sh1te tastes like a cross between jeyes cleaning fluid and gravy browning...........VILE stuff and distinctly unpatriotic.

 

[C C Csiders]

Quote[/b] (Wessex Blue @ May 10 2006,10:05)]

Quote[/b] (C C Csiders @ May 09 2006,11:02)]I hate tea. Can't stand it.

I hate all the paraphernalia surrounding tea, the rituals, the ooh! let's stop and have a cup of tea bits about it.

It's dreadful stuff.

Tea should be banned unless you are over 60, and then phased out following the death of all those that will still be allowed to drink it because they are over 60 now.

Why do older people say "would you like a nice cup of tea?" Why a nice one, no I want a disgusting one! Why would I want to partake of anything that wasn't nice. Do not say "a nice cup of tea" because if you do I will remove your head from your shoulders with a machete.

Why in my office do the women say who wants a tea (they have stopped using the "nice" prefix, after the last nasty machete incident)? And then, rather than one of them go the kettle to make three or four cups, al the women get up and crowd round the kettle and wait until it boils and then stay around until all cups are made. Timewasters!

Worst of all people who have a cup (or mug if in the north) of tea with their food. Disgusting!

Northerners saying "poot kettle on love" - AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!

Lastly I hate the view the rest of the world has of us all drinking tea, like some ghastly Merchant/Ivory film, in halcyon days of empire.

Clearly you're a wrongun and not a true Englishman. A nice cup of tea is what made Britain Great. Tea is a balm to soothe the nations aches and pains whereas coffee is the drink of untrusworthy foreigners and nancy boys.

Can there be anything camper than a grown man going into a poncey coffee shop and asking for a half & half or a latte?

Whats even worse is that sh1te tastes like a cross between jeyes cleaning fluid and gravy browning...........VILE stuff and distinctly unpatriotic.

Don't you get me started on coffee WB!

 

[Mad Cyril]

Quote[/b] (Wessex Blue @ May 10 2006,10:05)]Can there be anything camper than a grown man going into a poncey coffee shop and asking for a half & half or a latte?

What is a half and half (pertaining to coffee, not the Westcliff sauna)?

 

[palexander]

Agree on the tea - disgusting stuff - and people who have hot drinks with hot meals generally should be beheaded (whats wrong with a cold bottle of Bud with your tea!?)

Coffee on the other hand is sweet brown nector!

 

[C C Csiders]

Quote[/b] (pboreham @ May 10 2006,13:22)]Agree on the tea - disgusting stuff - and people who have hot drinks with hot meals generally should be beheaded (whats wrong with a cold bottle of Bud with your tea!?)

Please join me in my machete antics.

I should also have mentioned, now you are starting me off on one again, another thing about tea that gets me, is people saying:

"Phew it's hot, I know I'll have a cup of tea, that'll cool me down"

Utter rubbish, it'll make you more hot, you plank.

When was the last time you heard an Eskimo say "Bloody hell it's 'taters here in the North Pole. Better go and fetch myself a nice ice cold coke"

And, people feeling sad, could be a bereavement. So someone says have a cup of tea, that'll help. Oh yeah, my mum's just died, better have a cup of tea, that will make me feel a whole lot better about life.

 

[SUFCFARAWAY]

classic!

then you really most love this guy

anyone for a cup of twinings?

 

[Wessex Blue]

Quote[/b] (Mad Cyril @ May 10 2006,12:02)]

Quote[/b] (Wessex Blue @ May 10 2006,10:05)]Can there be anything camper than a grown man going into a poncey coffee shop and asking for a half & half or a latte?

What is a half and half (pertaining to coffee, not the Westcliff sauna)?

Half Jeyes half Bisto of course.......

 

[Wessex Blue]

Ah but effete well-bred Englishmen are an English tradition as well. So camp Englishmen who drink tea are perfectly acceptable whereas camp coffee drinkers are clearly not!

PBoreham is a wrongun because he likes American Budweiser which is the closest thing to urine that is currently brewed this side of the moon!

 

[C C Csiders]

Quote[/b] (Wessex Blue @ May 10 2006,15:03)]Ah but effete well-bred Englishmen are an English tradition as well. So camp Englishmen who drink tea are perfectly acceptable whereas camp coffee drinkers are clearly not!

But Camp coffee is not really coffee it is more a chicory-based substitute, and it was all you could get during rationing unless you knew the right sort of spiv.

 

[Wessex Blue]

Quote[/b] (C C Csiders @ May 10 2006,15:09)]

Quote[/b] (Wessex Blue @ May 10 2006,15:03)]Ah but effete well-bred Englishmen are an English tradition as well. So camp Englishmen who drink tea are perfectly acceptable whereas camp coffee drinkers are clearly not!

But Camp coffee is not really coffee it is more a chicory-based substitute, and it was all you could get during rationing unless you knew the right sort of spiv.

If I recall correctly Camp coffee had a picture of a man wearing a skirt (like shrimp in a kilt) on the label. What could be more appropriate for a drink primarily drunk by nancy boys...!

 

[C C Csiders]

Quote[/b] (Wessex Blue @ May 11 2006,09:27)]

Quote[/b] (C C Csiders @ May 10 2006,15:09)]

Quote[/b] (Wessex Blue @ May 10 2006,15:03)]Ah but effete well-bred Englishmen are an English tradition as well. So camp Englishmen who drink tea are perfectly acceptable whereas camp coffee drinkers are clearly not!

But Camp coffee is not really coffee it is more a chicory-based substitute, and it was all you could get during rationing unless you knew the right sort of spiv.

If I recall correctly Camp coffee had a picture of a man wearing a skirt (like shrimp in a kilt) on the label. What could be more appropriate for a drink primarily drunk by nancy boys...!  

Indeed, like an outtake from Carry On Up the Khyber:

Camp Coffee - oooohhhhhh nice!