Sebastian Weetabix
Manager
The plan was simple, get up, go to Tescos, eat brekkie read paper have poo, walk to train station, catch train, get Tilbury - Gravesend ferry, catch another train, have a few pints, see game, dance in street, have a few more pints and come home in the mood for love. FAT CHANCE!!!
Got up and trod on a sodding play brick, tripped and stubbed a toe on the bed. Got dressed, went into lounge and threw a murderous look at young daughter who just sang 'Bob the Builder' at me. Kissed wife, grabbed keys and went to car. Got out of car, banged on front door, went in and grabbed wallet. Went out, turned around again, went in and grabbed fags and lighter. Kissed wife again and finally got away.
Drove to Tescos and parked in quite spot. Got out and noticed new sign telling me parking was limited to 3 hours. Thought have breakfast first and worry about it later. Brought paper, went to upstairs cafe and got in the queue.15 people waiting to be served, 2 idiots serving. Im stuck behind stroppy pikey grandmother with 4 stroppy pikey kids. She insists on being served by both the staff on duty, I am getting the hump. The stroppy father of the brood in front of me comes over and says in a loud threatening voice and looking at me 'Is there a f%&kin problem here? Im not long out of bed have a throbbing toe and empty stomach so, yes you big mouthed w%&ker, there is going to be a f%&kin problem unless you get your stroopy brood away from the counter so the increasing queue behind me could also get served. Pikey steps backwards (one on one, wrong odds) I give up and go in search of coffee.
Get car and drive round to Mc Donalds, can only park there for 2 hours, give Pitsea up as bad loss and drive to Benfleet. Park for nothing, get train ticket and go on platform. Shop shut but know shop at Pitsea will be open and will have to change there anyway so jump on train. Train doesn't stop at Pitsea, get dumped at Basildon. Cross over and wait for next train back. Train arrives, I get on, train goes through Pitsea again without stopping, im back where I started at Benfleet. Have a fag and calm down, stop trying to burn down station.
Another train pulls in, double check it stops at Pitsea. Finally get to Pitsea and my longed after coffee. Cross tracks and await Tilbury bound train. Meet up with some of the chaps and after waiting for the bus at Tilbury, we arrive at the ferry.
Almost bash Littleman for complaining that river wasn't very wide.I think he was expecting a ocean going cruise but the £2.70 return ticket should hve been a clue. Get to train station and just miss connection to Gillingham. I need coffee and bacon roll so decide to stay on station while rest of them invade nearest pub.
Train arrives and we trundle of down the track. Arrive Gillingham and walk out of station into entire Kent Police Force. The cause of the day was being set. Spot pub and head in for a pint. Straight away, the law are staring through the windows and playing with there favorite aids to police harrasment, the camcorder. I love these because it gives me a chance to give them my biggest, cheeiest hollywood smile which really p%&ses em off. Nobody has ever been arrested for smiling.
We head up towards The Livingston where plenty seem to be meeting and get in there for a beer and sing song. This is where im told that if your haven't got a ticket then you wont get in and you wont get one for the home end either if you aren't on the database. But Gillingham seemingly dont want extra income but Southend fans being the giving types they are still bribed Gills fans to get tickets for us.
Up to the ground and spot Uncle Ron in his car, give him a wave, didn't return it, must have had something on his mind poor chap. Get in and take seats amongest another 25 or so who had the same idea. Watched a rather boring first half with one eye on the police and stewerts. We knew they had sussed us, they thought they were being clever by spotting us. Went for a half time beer and managed to escape the dragnet of police cameras and nervous stewerts. Was having said beer and smirking at one lad about to be chucked out when the Ridley Scott of the policing world stopped filming and spotted me. Weetabix is now leaving the building.
It was a fair cop and no-one gave any grief in leaving and to be fair the stewerts were aright about it, but what do the police think they are playing at with this little gem. I ask one if its ok to go back to pub and watch the results come in. They say yes, we walk in and are told that the police have informed them that we were all thrown out and we should be refused service. Not only that, they contact every other pub they think we might pass by and give them the same spill. I spoke to the landlady and she said come back after the game had finished and we could have a drink then. Game over, we win, she is getting ear'ole of law while im in the bar, they walk out and come back in another door and tell us the landlady wants us out. Landlady looks very embarrissed, police look stupidly smug. Someone was telling lies and guess who I think it was.
Head back towards town, it tips down with rain, we all get soaked. Head for pub by station for pint and to dry-off. Landlord lets me in. Overzealous PC Dick, pulls me back giving it loads of 'you have already been warned once' Now im really fed up with this most basic of b******s that OB come out with to football supporters.
'Who warned me, what was I warned off and who told you because is wasn't you was it?
Bless him, he didn't have an answer apart from 'You wanna be nicked'
And our wonderful Police Liason Officer is becoming a waste of time. 'Make a complaint' seems to be his standard line now. So its off to the station to await a train out of Gillingham. A good day spoiled by overzealous policeing which to be frank its starting to put me off of away travel. I trust that Essex Police will be removing all Gillingham supporters forcably from Southend by 5.30pm when we play them at home. Infact lets force a blanket ban on all away supporters setting foot anywhere near a pub other than one delegated for away use. Perhaps The Dick Turpin on the A127 just after Basildon or maybe The Halfway House at Warley on the A127. Keep em there until 2.00pm, escort them in to the ground, then straight back out again after the game. Any stragglers to be followed with camcorders by riot police with batons drawn to the nearest train station and thrown out of town no later than 5.45pm. I've been treated like that for almost 25 years, its about time we returned to complement.
Got up and trod on a sodding play brick, tripped and stubbed a toe on the bed. Got dressed, went into lounge and threw a murderous look at young daughter who just sang 'Bob the Builder' at me. Kissed wife, grabbed keys and went to car. Got out of car, banged on front door, went in and grabbed wallet. Went out, turned around again, went in and grabbed fags and lighter. Kissed wife again and finally got away.
Drove to Tescos and parked in quite spot. Got out and noticed new sign telling me parking was limited to 3 hours. Thought have breakfast first and worry about it later. Brought paper, went to upstairs cafe and got in the queue.15 people waiting to be served, 2 idiots serving. Im stuck behind stroppy pikey grandmother with 4 stroppy pikey kids. She insists on being served by both the staff on duty, I am getting the hump. The stroppy father of the brood in front of me comes over and says in a loud threatening voice and looking at me 'Is there a f%&kin problem here? Im not long out of bed have a throbbing toe and empty stomach so, yes you big mouthed w%&ker, there is going to be a f%&kin problem unless you get your stroopy brood away from the counter so the increasing queue behind me could also get served. Pikey steps backwards (one on one, wrong odds) I give up and go in search of coffee.
Get car and drive round to Mc Donalds, can only park there for 2 hours, give Pitsea up as bad loss and drive to Benfleet. Park for nothing, get train ticket and go on platform. Shop shut but know shop at Pitsea will be open and will have to change there anyway so jump on train. Train doesn't stop at Pitsea, get dumped at Basildon. Cross over and wait for next train back. Train arrives, I get on, train goes through Pitsea again without stopping, im back where I started at Benfleet. Have a fag and calm down, stop trying to burn down station.
Another train pulls in, double check it stops at Pitsea. Finally get to Pitsea and my longed after coffee. Cross tracks and await Tilbury bound train. Meet up with some of the chaps and after waiting for the bus at Tilbury, we arrive at the ferry.
Almost bash Littleman for complaining that river wasn't very wide.I think he was expecting a ocean going cruise but the £2.70 return ticket should hve been a clue. Get to train station and just miss connection to Gillingham. I need coffee and bacon roll so decide to stay on station while rest of them invade nearest pub.
Train arrives and we trundle of down the track. Arrive Gillingham and walk out of station into entire Kent Police Force. The cause of the day was being set. Spot pub and head in for a pint. Straight away, the law are staring through the windows and playing with there favorite aids to police harrasment, the camcorder. I love these because it gives me a chance to give them my biggest, cheeiest hollywood smile which really p%&ses em off. Nobody has ever been arrested for smiling.
We head up towards The Livingston where plenty seem to be meeting and get in there for a beer and sing song. This is where im told that if your haven't got a ticket then you wont get in and you wont get one for the home end either if you aren't on the database. But Gillingham seemingly dont want extra income but Southend fans being the giving types they are still bribed Gills fans to get tickets for us.
Up to the ground and spot Uncle Ron in his car, give him a wave, didn't return it, must have had something on his mind poor chap. Get in and take seats amongest another 25 or so who had the same idea. Watched a rather boring first half with one eye on the police and stewerts. We knew they had sussed us, they thought they were being clever by spotting us. Went for a half time beer and managed to escape the dragnet of police cameras and nervous stewerts. Was having said beer and smirking at one lad about to be chucked out when the Ridley Scott of the policing world stopped filming and spotted me. Weetabix is now leaving the building.
It was a fair cop and no-one gave any grief in leaving and to be fair the stewerts were aright about it, but what do the police think they are playing at with this little gem. I ask one if its ok to go back to pub and watch the results come in. They say yes, we walk in and are told that the police have informed them that we were all thrown out and we should be refused service. Not only that, they contact every other pub they think we might pass by and give them the same spill. I spoke to the landlady and she said come back after the game had finished and we could have a drink then. Game over, we win, she is getting ear'ole of law while im in the bar, they walk out and come back in another door and tell us the landlady wants us out. Landlady looks very embarrissed, police look stupidly smug. Someone was telling lies and guess who I think it was.
Head back towards town, it tips down with rain, we all get soaked. Head for pub by station for pint and to dry-off. Landlord lets me in. Overzealous PC Dick, pulls me back giving it loads of 'you have already been warned once' Now im really fed up with this most basic of b******s that OB come out with to football supporters.
'Who warned me, what was I warned off and who told you because is wasn't you was it?
Bless him, he didn't have an answer apart from 'You wanna be nicked'
And our wonderful Police Liason Officer is becoming a waste of time. 'Make a complaint' seems to be his standard line now. So its off to the station to await a train out of Gillingham. A good day spoiled by overzealous policeing which to be frank its starting to put me off of away travel. I trust that Essex Police will be removing all Gillingham supporters forcably from Southend by 5.30pm when we play them at home. Infact lets force a blanket ban on all away supporters setting foot anywhere near a pub other than one delegated for away use. Perhaps The Dick Turpin on the A127 just after Basildon or maybe The Halfway House at Warley on the A127. Keep em there until 2.00pm, escort them in to the ground, then straight back out again after the game. Any stragglers to be followed with camcorders by riot police with batons drawn to the nearest train station and thrown out of town no later than 5.45pm. I've been treated like that for almost 25 years, its about time we returned to complement.
