Pre Match Thread - Southend United v AFC West Ham - Season 2050/51

[shamash]

For our opening home game of the 2050/51 season, we have a local derby against AFC West Ham. This also marks our first full season at our new home, The Ron Martin Memorial Stadium, on Boris Island in the Thames. Following last seasons rather disappointing finish in League One, hopes are higher for this season. Our benefactors, R Martin Global Enterprises PLC., have recently secured the contract for building three - sided stadia across the whole of China. This means that we have been able to invest heavily in the squad for the coming campaign. Our team for this match will be as follows:

1. Patel
2. Sanchez
3. Barrett
4. Singh
5. Malik
6. Wasim
7. Ping - Lee
8. Wong- Li
9. Eastwood
10. Smith - Jones

I need hardly remind you that teams now have only 10 players following the FIFA decision to abolish goalkeepers in 2045. The thinking behind the decision was to ensure more goals in order to broaden the global appeal of football, which was losing fans to snooker and chess at that time. The decision was voted through despite strong protests from England’s joint veteran goalkeeping coaches, J Hart and D Bentley.


Our ladies team fared little better last season, also settling into a mid table position following a promising start. The fans tended to blame the drop in form on the new manager Phyllis Brown. This will be her first full season in charge so possibly we should reserve judgement until later in the year.

The highlight of last season was the form of our gender neutral team who narrowly missed out on the play off spots due to goal difference.


Here we go then, Come on you Shrimpers!

 

[IloveShrimp]

I cant make the game as I have a family doo that day :(

But my team would be (in the historical Phil Brown attacking formation of 10 - 0 - 0 and of course clean a sheet mentality)

Nikkas Offalot, Arfur Bollockov, Barrett, No Pass Ing, Sum Ting Wong, Fa Kin Su Pa, Ben Derhover, Won Hung Lo, Bjorn Wiffabiggun and Major B. Oner


Manager: Noe Schitt Sherlock (Browns Step Son and shareholder) - Coach: Wot went wong

 

[Benfleet A1]

I wont be going either as I will be dead.

 

[SHRIMPERPETER]

For our opening home game of the 2050/51 season, we have a local derby against AFC West Ham. This also marks our first full season at our new home, The Ron Martin Memorial Stadium, on Boris Island in the Thames. Following last seasons rather disappointing finish in League One, hopes are higher for this season. Our benefactors, R Martin Global Enterprises PLC., have recently secured the contract for building three - sided stadia across the whole of China. This means that we have been able to invest heavily in the squad for the coming campaign. Our team for this match will be as follows:

1. Patel
2. Sanchez
3. Barrett
4. Singh
5. Malik
6. Wasim
7. Ping - Lee
8. Wong- Li
9. Eastwood
10. Smith - Jones

I need hardly remind you that teams now have only 10 players following the FIFA decision to abolish goalkeepers in 2045. The thinking behind the decision was to ensure more goals in order to broaden the global appeal of football, which was losing fans to snooker and chess at that time. The decision was voted through despite strong protests from England’s joint veteran goalkeeping coaches, J Hart and D Bentley.


Our ladies team fared little better last season, also settling into a mid table position following a promising start. The fans tended to blame the drop in form on the new manager Phyllis Brown. This will be her first full season in charge so possibly we should reserve judgement until later in the year.

The highlight of last season was the form of our gender neutral team who narrowly missed out on the play off spots due to goal difference.


Here we go then, Come on you Shrimpers!

I thought we'd already abolished our goalkeeper!!:winking:

 

[Gt Yarmouth Shrimper]

I wont be going either as I will be dead.

I'll be 88, in with a chance of being there.
Maybe not though, as 3 strokes before I was 53 limits my hope of even making it to 2020.

 

[Benfleet A1]

I'll be 88, in with a chance of being there.
Maybe not though, as 3 strokes before I was 53 limits my hope of even making it to 2020.

Bloody hell, I was only sodding about. 3 strokes!! You take care old son. I mean that as well.

 

[tallboyblue]

I will do my best but I will be 118.

 

[IloveShrimp]

I'll be dead by then too very probably - unless I make 92 which I doubt.

I actually did die last year after my heart failed the day after returning home following a heart operation.. it was sooo close! Watched the play off final from my sick bed, when we scored I nearly died again lol.

 

[Shrimper]

I'll be there, all 58 years of me

 

[buffalowolf]

Well i ll be 70 in 5 weeks time but my girlfriend who is only 22 will keep me active im sure so see you all there ,also you be pleased to hear we got a new cb fu king wonwei
:smile:

 

[Barling Magna]

I hear that we'll be loaning the striker Won Nil from Arsenal.