DTS
The Business
Help.............
Never done one before and dont want to let my mate down. If you can be arsed to read it below can you give me some feedback.
Have I cained him too much? Anything traditional I have missed? Anything that you have heard hundereds of times before?
I have tried to avoid internet jokes but a few mates have fed me lines.
Not worried about spelling as I am only reading it out. The bride can be very volatile so I have tried to avoid anything risky.......
Thanks
DtS
"Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen,
For those of you that don’t know me my name is Dave and I am Lukes best man. I would like to start off by saying how lovely the bridesmaids Kate, Polly and Isabella and of course Archie all look. In deed they are only outshone by Amy herself who I am sure you will all agree looks fantastic.
My plan for the best mans speech is fairly traditional, first off the ritual humiliation of Luke, followed by how he met Amy. I know Luke is sensitive about the fact he is going grey so despite request from a few of the lads I will stay off that subject.
I must confess it has seemed a bit weird today with everyone calling Luke by his real name as I don’t think the lads or I have called him Luke for the whole time that we have known him. So as to avoid confusion later on I thought I would share a few of the other names by which Luke is known.
First off the most common is Ratty due to the fact he has a very hairy lower back. Dale due to his uncanny resemblance to Dale Winton. Nails as Luke once claimed that he was as hard as Nails, Pearls as when he was 18 he used to go clubbing wearing his mums pearl necklace, Turetsworth which is of course a play on his surname and refers to the fact he swears like a trooper in his sleep and Sicknote due to the fact he Luke is always self diagnosing himself with some rare and tropical illness. He is also known as Fishcakes and Cadburys for reasons I wont go into now.
I first met Luke when we were sixteen. We both had the same free periods at college and starting kicking a ball about together. I think our initial friendship was based more upon the fact that my parents had sky sports than Luke actually liking me but over the years we became close mates.
Luke must be one of the most laid back blokes I have ever known and I don’t recall him ever getting excited about a lot. That was of course until he met Amy,
I still recall the first night he met her. Luke called me at work in the day and asked if I fancied going on a pub crawl around Burgess Hill where the lads and I all lived at the time. I should have smelt a rat (Pardon the pun) then as Luke can never last more than two pubs before he wants to go home or is sick.
Anyway on the night in question we trawled the pubs until we settled in one. It just so happened that Amy was in there and they got talking. At kicking out time Luke begged me to go on to a club with Amy and Wendy. I could see he meant business so dressed in my suit and tie we proceeded onto Chequers - Burgess Hills premier establishment.
Once inside Luke and Amy dirty danced the night away, while Wendy and I drunk the embarrassment away. At the end of the night Luke gave Amy a peck on the cheek and her and Wendy got a cab home. The rest is history and as you see today both look very happy together.
I must confess it was a shock when Luke told me it had always been his dream to get married in Italy as the bloke cant even leave Mid-Sussex without feeling ill. In the fifteen odd years I have known Luke I have never been away with him without being sick. My personal favorite was when he was ill one night in Ibiza after drinking the wrong sort of coke.
I do kind of think some of it is his own fault however. On his stag do for example we were playing a drinking game. Luke got to start the game and all he had to do was think of any celebrity in the world beginning with B. Now I am sure most of you are thinking Brad Pitt or Brittany Spears. Baring in mind Luke had the choice of the whole world who did Luke come up with 'Bertie Smith' not even a semi celebrity so Luke had to do a shot. I asked Luke later how come couldn’t come up with anyone famous at all beginning with a B and he admitted he got nervous.
In fairness to Luke though he has remained very calm over the whole wedding. I asked him the other day if he was nervous over the wedding and he said 'Dave - Marriage is just a word' – which is funny as where as when I asked Amy she felt it was more like a sentence.
In all seriousness Luke has been a fantastic mate to me over the years and I am really lucky to have him as a friend.
Right that is it from me. I want to take this opportunity to thank Luke and Amy for all the efforts they have put in to finding such a wonderful venue. Most of you will know they have been bombing back and forth to Italy to make sure every last detail was taken care of. I know it sounds like fun but it has not been all fun and games as only last week Amy had her credit card stolen. Luke however told me he has decided not to report it as the thief is spending less than Amy was.
All that remain now is for me to raise a toast in a moment to Amy and Fabrizio Ravenelli here. I haven’t been given an insight into the first dance but if Luke got his way I am sure it will be a song which he often claims was written for him personally. The classic 'R Kellys - Your the worlds greatest.
In all seriousness please raise your glasses for the new and improved Mr and Mrs Betsworth."
Never done one before and dont want to let my mate down. If you can be arsed to read it below can you give me some feedback.
Have I cained him too much? Anything traditional I have missed? Anything that you have heard hundereds of times before?
I have tried to avoid internet jokes but a few mates have fed me lines.
Not worried about spelling as I am only reading it out. The bride can be very volatile so I have tried to avoid anything risky.......
Thanks
DtS
"Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen,
For those of you that don’t know me my name is Dave and I am Lukes best man. I would like to start off by saying how lovely the bridesmaids Kate, Polly and Isabella and of course Archie all look. In deed they are only outshone by Amy herself who I am sure you will all agree looks fantastic.
My plan for the best mans speech is fairly traditional, first off the ritual humiliation of Luke, followed by how he met Amy. I know Luke is sensitive about the fact he is going grey so despite request from a few of the lads I will stay off that subject.
I must confess it has seemed a bit weird today with everyone calling Luke by his real name as I don’t think the lads or I have called him Luke for the whole time that we have known him. So as to avoid confusion later on I thought I would share a few of the other names by which Luke is known.
First off the most common is Ratty due to the fact he has a very hairy lower back. Dale due to his uncanny resemblance to Dale Winton. Nails as Luke once claimed that he was as hard as Nails, Pearls as when he was 18 he used to go clubbing wearing his mums pearl necklace, Turetsworth which is of course a play on his surname and refers to the fact he swears like a trooper in his sleep and Sicknote due to the fact he Luke is always self diagnosing himself with some rare and tropical illness. He is also known as Fishcakes and Cadburys for reasons I wont go into now.
I first met Luke when we were sixteen. We both had the same free periods at college and starting kicking a ball about together. I think our initial friendship was based more upon the fact that my parents had sky sports than Luke actually liking me but over the years we became close mates.
Luke must be one of the most laid back blokes I have ever known and I don’t recall him ever getting excited about a lot. That was of course until he met Amy,
I still recall the first night he met her. Luke called me at work in the day and asked if I fancied going on a pub crawl around Burgess Hill where the lads and I all lived at the time. I should have smelt a rat (Pardon the pun) then as Luke can never last more than two pubs before he wants to go home or is sick.
Anyway on the night in question we trawled the pubs until we settled in one. It just so happened that Amy was in there and they got talking. At kicking out time Luke begged me to go on to a club with Amy and Wendy. I could see he meant business so dressed in my suit and tie we proceeded onto Chequers - Burgess Hills premier establishment.
Once inside Luke and Amy dirty danced the night away, while Wendy and I drunk the embarrassment away. At the end of the night Luke gave Amy a peck on the cheek and her and Wendy got a cab home. The rest is history and as you see today both look very happy together.
I must confess it was a shock when Luke told me it had always been his dream to get married in Italy as the bloke cant even leave Mid-Sussex without feeling ill. In the fifteen odd years I have known Luke I have never been away with him without being sick. My personal favorite was when he was ill one night in Ibiza after drinking the wrong sort of coke.
I do kind of think some of it is his own fault however. On his stag do for example we were playing a drinking game. Luke got to start the game and all he had to do was think of any celebrity in the world beginning with B. Now I am sure most of you are thinking Brad Pitt or Brittany Spears. Baring in mind Luke had the choice of the whole world who did Luke come up with 'Bertie Smith' not even a semi celebrity so Luke had to do a shot. I asked Luke later how come couldn’t come up with anyone famous at all beginning with a B and he admitted he got nervous.
In fairness to Luke though he has remained very calm over the whole wedding. I asked him the other day if he was nervous over the wedding and he said 'Dave - Marriage is just a word' – which is funny as where as when I asked Amy she felt it was more like a sentence.
In all seriousness Luke has been a fantastic mate to me over the years and I am really lucky to have him as a friend.
Right that is it from me. I want to take this opportunity to thank Luke and Amy for all the efforts they have put in to finding such a wonderful venue. Most of you will know they have been bombing back and forth to Italy to make sure every last detail was taken care of. I know it sounds like fun but it has not been all fun and games as only last week Amy had her credit card stolen. Luke however told me he has decided not to report it as the thief is spending less than Amy was.
All that remain now is for me to raise a toast in a moment to Amy and Fabrizio Ravenelli here. I haven’t been given an insight into the first dance but if Luke got his way I am sure it will be a song which he often claims was written for him personally. The classic 'R Kellys - Your the worlds greatest.
In all seriousness please raise your glasses for the new and improved Mr and Mrs Betsworth."
