Mental Health Mental Health

[Cricko]

Please add all your mental health discussions here.

 

[Bearded Shrimper]

After the discussion last night I thought we needed something on this. Because it is ok not to be okay.
It's been an awful year and people are suffering in all sorts of ways.
So this is for anyone out there who is suffering with their mental health. Post on here if you want to tell your story. Send me or someone else a direct message if you want to speak privately.
You're not alone and you don't have to face this alone.
I personally found it really isolating to be away from work because no-one there really talked to me, even about work stuff. Now I've been made redundant and my wife is pregnant so I'm worrying about how to pay the bills.
So if I can help at all please just ask.

 

[BriggBlue]

I feel like I'm in a bit of a strange place this year, it should have been a big year of celebration and achievement and although I achieved everything I hoped for I'm just left feeling a bit on edge and Mardy all the time.

I left the RAF in 2013 and started a part time electrical and electronic engineering degree whilst working full time, I finally finished this year gaining a 1st class honours degree which took a hell of a lot of time and effort especially as I had no children when I started and now I've got three kids under 7. Normally this would mean a massive celebration and a graduation ceremony, instead my certificate was posted out to me by second class post almost as an afterthought so it almost feels like I haven't actually achieved anything.

At work was promoted into a new role as a project engineer last November and immediately had to manage two significant projects during a global pandemic, during this time my line manager put himself on furlough for two months and I had to pick up the work he would normally do. When he returned we were informed that the site wouldn't be getting any pay rises or bonuses until 2022, this particularly irked me because I had a pay rise written into my contract for when I completed my degree (which the company didn't pay for btw, I also had to make up time I missed whilst attending Uni). I then started looking around to see what other jobs were around and I ended up accepting a job offer in a growing industry that is of real personal interest, (green hydrogen generation), which I start in January 2021.

Normally this would be yet another massive positive and it really is however due to working from home and being sidelined during my 3 month notice period I only really get to speak to my wife or sit on shrimperzone waiting for yet more bad news so I'm overthinking whether it was the right thing to do and all sorts of scenarios are playing out in my mind.

This time of year is always a little tough for me as my Mum died 3 years ago this month from breast cancer and having more time than ever to dwell on how much I miss her is making things extra hard as there just seems to be no good news out there anywhere, My Dad is classed as high risk and lives alone and he has pretty much put himself into isolation as he is terrified of catching Covid and only see's his grandkids by video call once a week or so but he is getting very reluctant to visit over Xmas all of which is something else to worry about.

to be honest I felt like I wanted to write this out to get it off my chest more than anything, I know compared to others I'm in a really good place surrounded by family and employed with a new job to look forward to, it just feels like there is so much negativity around that every silver lining comes with a cloud.

If I can offer any advice to people that are struggling it would be to focus on things you can control, no matter how stupid or trivial it seems if you can control it you can improve it. The other thing is don't forget to move, getting out for a walk or a run or something everyday will improve your mood and give you some structure oh and deep lager therapy only makes you forget the problem for a night and will end up making things worse if you undertake it too often.

 

[Ricey]

Lots of helpful websites and numbers if you’re struggling.

Mental Health - Help Is Out There For You!

After it being brought up by MK in another thread I thought it a good idea to have a sticky thread with a few contact details for people. Mental Health and Depression is a massive issue in the world today and lots of people take their own life. These people sometimes don’t know about the...

www.shrimperzone.com

 

[Grayson]

I feel like I'm in a bit of a strange place this year, it should have been a big year of celebration and achievement and although I achieved everything I hoped for I'm just left feeling a bit on edge and Mardy all the time.

I left the RAF in 2013 and started a part time electrical and electronic engineering degree whilst working full time, I finally finished this year gaining a 1st class honours degree which took a hell of a lot of time and effort especially as I had no children when I started and now I've got three kids under 7. Normally this would mean a massive celebration and a graduation ceremony, instead my certificate was posted out to me by second class post almost as an afterthought so it almost feels like I haven't actually achieved anything.

At work was promoted into a new role as a project engineer last November and immediately had to manage two significant projects during a global pandemic, during this time my line manager put himself on furlough for two months and I had to pick up the work he would normally do. When he returned we were informed that the site wouldn't be getting any pay rises or bonuses until 2022, this particularly irked me because I had a pay rise written into my contract for when I completed my degree (which the company didn't pay for btw, I also had to make up time I missed whilst attending Uni). I then started looking around to see what other jobs were around and I ended up accepting a job offer in a growing industry that is of real personal interest, (green hydrogen generation), which I start in January 2021.

Normally this would be yet another massive positive and it really is however due to working from home and being sidelined during my 3 month notice period I only really get to speak to my wife or sit on shrimperzone waiting for yet more bad news so I'm overthinking whether it was the right thing to do and all sorts of scenarios are playing out in my mind.

This time of year is always a little tough for me as my Mum died 3 years ago this month from breast cancer and having more time than ever to dwell on how much I miss her is making things extra hard as there just seems to be no good news out there anywhere, My Dad is classed as high risk and lives alone and he has pretty much put himself into isolation as he is terrified of catching Covid and only see's his grandkids by video call once a week or so but he is getting very reluctant to visit over Xmas all of which is something else to worry about.

to be honest I felt like I wanted to write this out to get it off my chest more than anything, I know compared to others I'm in a really good place surrounded by family and employed with a new job to look forward to, it just feels like there is so much negativity around that every silver lining comes with a cloud.

If I can offer any advice to people that are struggling it would be to focus on things you can control, no matter how stupid or trivial it seems if you can control it you can improve it. The other thing is don't forget to move, getting out for a walk or a run or something everyday will improve your mood and give you some structure oh and deep lager therapy only makes you forget the problem for a night and will end up making things worse if you undertake it too often.

It may not feel like you're achieving a lot right now, but read that back objectively, as any stranger on here is reading it now, and you will realise that you have achieved and are continuing to achieve a hell of a lot. Congrats on the new role, keep going and good luck.

 

[Barling Magna]

BriggBlue - completing a university degree while working is a tremendous achievement. To achieve a First Class honours is absolutely amazing. Respect to you, sir.

As far as your career decisions I'm sure that you have made the right move. Congratulations all round.

 

[MisterStubbs]

Today is the biggest game of our clubs recent history. Southend vs HMRC, up until we have had fairly good results but it’s still an agonizing wait for us whilst waiting to hear the outcome. The thought that my, our football club that’s been a constant in my life for 30 years could go out of business today, well it’s not worth thinking to much about. This football club has given me some of the best memories (and worst!) in my life and I can’t imagine my life going forward without it. We’ve seen the total devastation a bad result in the courts can cause, look at Bury and Macclesfield for example. Communities and supports torn all because of the actions of people who don’t have the clubs best interests at heart.

You often hear that football for a lot of people is an escape from their “real world” problems. Over the last few seasons though, our on field and off field problems have caused me personally no end of hurt and sadness. Last nights poor result just adds to the hurt.

How are you today?

I might just be a name on a screen but my messages are always open should you need to ever talk about anything. We are all going through this together whether it be the sad demise of our football club or this pandemic we are all having to live through with different restrictions depending on where you live and sometimes all you need to do is talk to someone.

 

[Benfleet A1]

The cats are driving me mental, does that count?

 

[Sentinel]

As I said on the thread yesterday I got diagnosed with aspergers 12 years ago, how I wish I'd been diagnosed 30 years ago when I was a teenager. I have used alcohol to cope with stress but managed to cut it back to the level where it wasn't a problem a couple of years ago but it has come back under covid. The solution to me was to keep myself busy with lots of different activities all of which have disappeared until covid19. Trying to find new things to do, places to go or new activities to try has not been easy but I know the route out of this problem but it's not easy.

 

[Dave Smiths Love Child]

You shouldnot be ashamed to admit you have mental health problems, especially if male

Proud survivor of nearly 40 years, only last ten years I can come to terms with it, seen many people take the only way out they knew and sadly not here to tell their stories

Family man two great kids, granddad and happy to know there is help outside the family, if you find it hard to talk

Can I recommend Shout a texting service for any one who kids find it hard to talk, its run 24/7 by volunteers who are trained to highest standards possible and its 365 days a year

Dont be afraid you are not alone out there male, female, trans gender, gay or just worried about exams/Covid, the days of being macho are finally over

Its Ok not to be OK

 

[ThurrockShrimper]

After the discussion last night I thought we needed something on this. Because it is ok not to be okay.
It's been an awful year and people are suffering in all sorts of ways.
So this is for anyone out there who is suffering with their mental health. Post on here if you want to tell your story. Send me or someone else a direct message if you want to speak privately.
You're not alone and you don't have to face this alone.
I personally found it really isolating to be away from work because no-one there really talked to me, even about work stuff. Now I've been made redundant and my wife is pregnant so I'm worrying about how to pay the bills.
So if I can help at all please just ask.

I really feel for you mate. I was in a similar position work-wise with a pregnant girlfriend (baby due in 3 weeks - eek!), but fortunately I was back to work a few months ago. Through the whole period though, I was convinced I wouldn't be returning to my job. We had to move back in with the in-laws for a while (the landlord wouldn't renew our tenancy) and it was such a struggle trying to rent another flat as half the estate agents we were dealing with were basically saying that, because I was furloughed and she was pregnant, we 'couldn't guarantee rent'. I found that talking on the phone to an old school pal who now lives in Salisbury on an almost daily basis kept my spirits up. I was drinking almost every day for a few months on end, which definitely in hindsight probably made things ten times worse. I'm waffling on a bit now, but the point I suppose I'm trying to make is that things will get better for you and keep your head up. I sincerely hope everything goes well with the baby mate and you find yourself back at work soon.

 

[Tommy2holes]

I work for the NHS mental health crisis service. It's been a particularly difficult time. Please don't suffer or feel that there is nowhere to turn. The NHS offers a 24/7 111 service for any mental health concerns.

 

[Bromley Blue]

I commend Martin for starting this thread. Given what he’s going through right now personally and for his first thought to be to check on the mental welfare of others speaks volumes of the man.

Shrimperzone itself can be a depressing place to be sometimes, especially given the horrendous run we’ve been on since things started to go south under Phil Brown. But it has also had a huge impact on my life personally. I can now count 4 of my closest friends I have met after deciding to meet up for a pint with a fellow Shrimper. All 4 including @Bearded Shrimper attended my wedding last year and it really shows the positives that can come from being a lower league football fan.

I think this thread should act as therapy for some to pour out their troubles and reach out for support from whatever is going on in their life. But I honestly think just being a Southend fan over the past 3 years has had a negative impact on my mental health. I’ve gone from being a season ticket holder for the past 2 seasons to dreading Saturdays. Knowing the club I’ve loved for over 20 years is dying is soul destroying.

The ridiculous money being thrown around at Premier League level and a club’s entire history is on a knife edge over a few hundred grand. It’s just awful.

 

[camden shrimper]

You shouldnot be ashamed to admit you have mental health problems, especially if male

Proud survivor of nearly 40 years, only last ten years I can come to terms with it, seen many people take the only way out they knew and sadly not here to tell their stories

Family man two great kids, granddad and happy to know there is help outside the family, if you find it hard to talk

Can I recommend Shout a texting service for any one who kids find it hard to talk, its run 24/7 by volunteers who are trained to highest standards possible and its 365 days a year

Dont be afraid you are not alone out there male, female, trans gender, gay or just worried about exams/Covid, the days of being macho are finally over

Its Ok not to be OK

Absolutely this, and to add, people who to the outside world have the best lives imaginable suffer too. This covid period has been awful but one shimmer of hope that has come from it is finding out that half a dozen people from my Sunday league side speak to psychotherapists or similar but were too embarrassed to say until someone else admitted it.

 

[Ricey]

As I posted in the other thread, there are some good websites and numbers here if you’re struggling.

Mental Health - Help Is Out There For You!

After it being brought up by MK in another thread I thought it a good idea to have a sticky thread with a few contact details for people. Mental Health and Depression is a massive issue in the world today and lots of people take their own life. These people sometimes don’t know about the...

www.shrimperzone.com

 

[Massimo Giovanni]

Watch "Gone fishing" which Whitehouse and Mortimer. It is on BBC catch up from the very start.
And it is as much, or more about men's health issues, especially mental health and how things from our past do haunt us.
And that it is good to talk.

 

[Benfleet A1]

Watch "Gone fishing" which Whitehouse and Mortimer. It is on BBC catch up from the very start.
And it is as much, or more about men's health issues, especially mental health and how things from our past do haunt us.
And that it is good to talk.

And in their case, get paid for it as well.

 

[Mad Cyril]

Watch "Gone fishing" which Whitehouse and Mortimer. It is on BBC catch up from the very start.
And it is as much, or more about men's health issues, especially mental health and how things from our past do haunt us.
And that it is good to talk.

I find it really irritating because Bob Mortimer gets a chance to fish all these great places yet is really **** at fishing.

 

[Dave Smiths Love Child]

Regardless of being paid or not, it brings it home to many

Its easy to say they have the money, but it doesnot bring everything to them, hence why many "Super stars" and I hate using that word, become big news when they commit suicide.

We have a long long way to go, but gradually the stigma is being lifted on this subject, its a terrible illness that can be hidden from family and friends very easily, and even worse when The Black Dog calls its so hard to keep him at heel

Not a go at you BA1, just an observation from the inside

 

[Benfleet A1]

Regardless of being paid or not, it brings it home to many

Its easy to say they have the money, but it doesnot bring everything to them, hence why many "Super stars" and I hate using that word, become big news when they commit suicide.

We have a long long way to go, but gradually the stigma is being lifted on this subject, its a terrible illness that can be hidden from family and friends very easily, and even worse when The Black Dog calls its so hard to keep him at heel

Not a go at you BA1, just an observation from the inside

I just prefer to hear stories from normal people rather than celebraties acting the prat.