palexander
Life President
> >>Subject: The Rules
> >>
> >>We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
> >>rules from the
> >>male side. These are our rules:-
> >>
> >>Please note... these are all numbered "1." ON PURPOSE!
> >>
> >>1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to
> >>change that.
> >>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
> >>it down. We
> >>need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you
> >>leaving it
> >>down.
> >>1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> >>tides. Let
> >>it be.
> >>1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> >>that way.
> >>1. Crying is blackmail.
> >>1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
> >>do not work!
> >>Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
> >>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> >>question.
> >>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> >>what we do.
> >>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> >>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> >>fact, all
> >>comments become null and void after 7 days.
> >>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
> >>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> >>ways makes you
> >>sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> >>1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> >>done. Not both.
> >> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> >>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> >>commercials.
> >>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
> >>1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
> >>Peach, for
> >>example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
> >>no idea what
> >>mauve is.
> >>1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> >>nothing's wrong.
> >> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
> >>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
> >>you don't
> >>want to hear.
> >>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> >>Really.
> >>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> >>discuss such
> >>topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.
> >>1. You have enough clothes.
> >>1. You have too many shoes.
> >>1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> >>
> >>Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> >>tonight, but
> >>did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
> >>
> >>Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
> >>
> >>Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!
> >>
> >>We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
> >>rules from the
> >>male side. These are our rules:-
> >>
> >>Please note... these are all numbered "1." ON PURPOSE!
> >>
> >>1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to
> >>change that.
> >>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
> >>it down. We
> >>need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you
> >>leaving it
> >>down.
> >>1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> >>tides. Let
> >>it be.
> >>1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> >>that way.
> >>1. Crying is blackmail.
> >>1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
> >>do not work!
> >>Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
> >>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> >>question.
> >>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> >>what we do.
> >>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> >>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> >>fact, all
> >>comments become null and void after 7 days.
> >>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
> >>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> >>ways makes you
> >>sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> >>1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> >>done. Not both.
> >> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> >>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> >>commercials.
> >>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
> >>1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
> >>Peach, for
> >>example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
> >>no idea what
> >>mauve is.
> >>1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> >>nothing's wrong.
> >> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
> >>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
> >>you don't
> >>want to hear.
> >>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> >>Really.
> >>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> >>discuss such
> >>topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.
> >>1. You have enough clothes.
> >>1. You have too many shoes.
> >>1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> >>
> >>Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> >>tonight, but
> >>did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
> >>
> >>Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
> >>
> >>Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!
