Maniacs on trains.

[Mad Cyril]

I boarded the 17:09 from Limehouse tonight, stood near the door and sparked up a bit of FIFA on the PSP.

I could hear someone talking and thought it was someone on a mobile however when I looked up there was chap (possibly about 20 years old) walking up and down the carriage clutching a can of Red Bull and talking to himself. This went on until I alighted the train at Benfleet.

Sample quotes:

I'll cut him, I'll ****ing cut him, I'll cut his face to ****ing ribbons.

Italian Mafia, they know what they are doing. Jimmy the gent? Sorted.

What am I doing? I'm wearing ****ing **** trainers.

A couple of weeks before I had a young chap in a tracksuit and baseball cap stand in front of me and dance whilst rapping into a mobile phone.

Anyone else seen any interesting ones recently?

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

I once saw a knobber playing fifa on a psp and he was a grown man.

 

[MrB]

Sample quotes:

A couple of weeks before I had a young chap in a tracksuit and baseball cap stand in front of me and dance whilst rapping into a mobile phone.

This doesn't sound like a quote from a maniac.

 

[EastStandBlue]

Night out in Brighton a few years back.

I'd had a few myself, but by no means was I *********, and happened to sit opposite someone wearing a full denim outfit carrying an Asda bag with a bottle of rum. He proceeded to tell me that he was actually Dennis Quaid's long lost brother, was a professor Quantum Mechanics at Oxford and was best friends with Stephen Fry and Sting. Good for you, now **** off, I thought...

After a few mumbles he asked me if I wanted to hear a joke before bursting into a fit of laughter and informing me that he couldn't tell me the joke because if he did, I'd turn to stone and the only cure was the medicine, which looked an awful lot like a half empty bottle of cheap rum in an Asda bag, to me.

Needless to say, when the train screeched into Shenfield I lept up and walked down the carriages.

 

[southend4ever]

Seen a number of punks asking for the time and then using any answer as an excuse to begin bullying/fighting!

I think the quiet carriage on C2C is a great addition because the number of arguments that start on this carriage are epic. Along with a woman telling a bloke "I bet your on 20k a year and won't ever earn any more." Snobby **** I thought!

maniacs, not so much, I have also seen some rapping. and flippent comments.

 

[Crawliano]

Not the train but the number 40 bus in London is an amazing place for freaks, my favourite being the woman who looked like Whoopi Goldberg walking up to everyone proclaiming "YOU'RE MY BABE!".

Told my mates about it and they asked what my mum was doing in London.

 

[Mad Cyril]

Along with a woman telling a bloke "I bet your on 20k a year and won't ever earn any more." Snobby **** I thought!

She was probably a member of the Essex Tory voting middle class.

 

[MK Shrimper]

With access to the NR logs across the country, anything that causes a delay is noted. A recent one was a bloke locked in the toilet in Kent and that roof of the train had to be lifted off! One that fugged up my trip home was a fat bloke who somehow broke his leg and then was too big for the ambulance staff to get off the train.

 

[Bluesmanager]

Don't really do trains but I've had a nutter or two on the bus once in a while. Think one of them was drunk (or off his head on drugs) 'cause the driver pretty much said sit down, shut up, or I'll throw you off the bus myself.

 

[Harold Bishop Killer]

My missus in July was on the central line to Bond Street when someone particulrly strange came on to the train behind her and started muttering about 'killing them all' and 'they had to go. I cant be stopped'. He then sat down oppoiste my missus and just stared her which led her to promptly leave the train. Later that night we were watching ITV News when they mentioned about an escaped mental patient who was highly dangerous and not to be approached. They flashed up his photo and low and behold it was the same guy who sat opposite my missus!! Let's just say she was a bit shook up by it! The link below was for the news article

http://www.thelondondailynews.com/citywide-alert-escaped-mental-patient-assaulted-police-p-4423.html

 

[southend4ever]

I once saw a conga on the C2C late at night! Brilliant!

 

[OldBlueLady]

Night out in Brighton a few years back.

I'd had a few myself, but by no means was I *********, and happened to sit opposite someone wearing a full denim outfit carrying an Asda bag with a bottle of rum. He proceeded to tell me that he was actually Dennis Quaid's long lost brother, was a professor Quantum Mechanics at Oxford and was best friends with Stephen Fry and Sting. Good for you, now **** off, I thought...

After a few mumbles he asked me if I wanted to hear a joke before bursting into a fit of laughter and informing me that he couldn't tell me the joke because if he did, I'd turn to stone and the only cure was the medicine, which looked an awful lot like a half empty bottle of cheap rum in an Asda bag, to me.

Needless to say, when the train screeched into Shenfield I lept up and walked down the carriages.

Are you sure you had had only a few or did he follow you across London too?!

 

[EastStandBlue]

Shenfield on the brain lately, seeing as I spend most of my life either there or at the office these days. Should read Lewes.

 

[Beefy]

I saw an old woman on the New York Subway about three years back. She must have been in her late 70s or early 80s. Anyway she kept pacing up and down the aisle saying "****ing jews, ****ing jews, ****ing yiddish *****, ****ing jews, ****ing jews".

It was interesting.

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

I saw an old woman on the New York Subway about three years back. She must have been in her late 70s or early 80s. Anyway she kept pacing up and down the aisle saying "****ing jews, ****ing jews, ****ing yiddish *****, ****ing jews, ****ing jews".

It was interesting.

Was it Rustys mum?

 

[Hotman]

Shenfield on the brain lately, seeing as I spend most of my life either there or at the office these days. Should read Lewes.

Easy mistake :unsure:

 

[GBJ]

I saw an old woman on the New York Subway about three years back. She must have been in her late 70s or early 80s. Anyway she kept pacing up and down the aisle saying "****ing jews, ****ing jews, ****ing yiddish *****, ****ing jews, ****ing jews".

It was interesting.

I bet she was an Arsenal fan, and she'd just heard the Carling Cup semi-final score

 

[MK Shrimper]

I bet she was an Arsenal fan, and she'd just heard the Carling Cup semi-final score

Or Eva Braun on her way home to Adolf in a Boys From Brazil kinda moment.

 

[EastStandBlue]

I saw an old woman on the New York Subway about three years back. She must have been in her late 70s or early 80s. Anyway she kept pacing up and down the aisle saying "****ing jews, ****ing jews, ****ing yiddish *****, ****ing jews, ****ing jews".

It was interesting.

Mel Gibson's looking rough these days, are you sure it wasn't him?

 

[GBJ]

Me and my mate were on our way upto The O2 to watch Davyd Haye fight Enzo a few years ago. Anyway, we got talking to this smackhead from Tilbury (who, in his words, had just come out of Broadhurst), who was equipped with a can of superstrong cider. After telling him where we were going, he started recalling his brilliant boxing career and how he could have gone to the golden gloves and been a professional. Then he informed us that Ricky Hatton began his career at The Chadwell St. Mary Boxing Club, and he used to train ans spa with Hatton. Apparently Ricky Hatton was this guy's lodger for 3 years, but, again in his own words, "Hatton got too lary so I had to give him a slap and throw him out". Whilst trying not to burst out laughing, me and my mate quickly realised this guy was off his nut. I asked him where he was off to. Lol. I've never seen someone switch so quickly. He started ranting and raving about his ex-bird, saying he's gunna smash her and cut her, talking about kidnapping his kid and moving abroad (obviously watching too much Eastenders). Serious nutcase, who definitly needed locking up in a padded room.