Slipperduke
The Camden Cad
After trawling through Mike Ashley's emotional 1664 word press release, Slipperduke has a few questions for him....
"I paid £134 million out of my own pocket for the club. I then poured another £110 million into the club not to pay off the debt but just to reduce it. The club is still in debt....Before I had spent a penny on wages or buying players Newcastle United had cost me more than a quarter of a billion pounds."
What exactly are you attempting to say here, Mike? Are you expressing surprise at the scale of the problems at St James Park, or is it regret for the fact that you decided to take them on? Surely there was an investigation into the state of Newcastle United's finances before the purchase went through? Listening to this is like listening to someone whining about buying a second-hand car "I paid two grand for this, and look at it! I've had to shell out for a new engine, new shocks, the chassis was falling apart and there was a dirty great crack down the windscreen. I haven't even driven it, and it's cost me thousands!"
What do you want? Sympathy?! If you can't afford it, don't buy it!
"The truth is that Newcastle could not sustain buying the Shevchenko's, Robinho's or the Berbatov's"
Nobody expected them to! Goodness me, we were surprised enough when Manchester City signed Robinho, I'd have fallen off my chair if he'd have ended up at St James Park. The Toon Army aren't stupid, they know that they can't attract the top bracket of players and, to my knowledge, this had never been an issue. Stop trying to obscure the real issue, that the players you did attract were brought into the club against the wishes of the 'manager'.
"One person alone can't manage a Premiership football club and scout the world looking for world class players and stars of the future. It needs a structure and it needs people who are dedicated to that task."
Really?! It seems to work quite well for Manchester United and Arsenal! The two most consistently successful teams of recent years are led by strong-minded individuals who know how to delegate tasks. Granted, you won't find Sir Alex Ferguson watching the Danish league every weekend, but you can bet your bottom dollar that no-one signs for the club without his final say-so. Why couldn't this policy have worked at Newcastle? What was to be gained by undermining Kevin Keegan with the interference of an unpopular former Chelsea midfielder and an unknown property developer!
"One of the reasons that the club was so in debt when I took over was due to transfer dealings caused by managers moving in and out of the club. Every time there was a change in manager millions would be spent on new players and millions would be lost as players were sold. It can't keep on working like that. It is just madness."
You're absolutely right. It is madness. Remind me again, how many managers have you seen clear their desks since you bought the club? Stability comes from the top and if you hadn't been so keen to dump Allardyce after barely half a season, then you wouldn't have had to refit and reshape the team again. If you knew Allardyce wasn't right for you, then why didn't you remove him when you arrived? Take a trip to The Riverside Stadium, have a look at the way that Middlesbrough chairman Steve Gibson conducts himself and backs his managers. That's what you should have done!
"I am still a fan of Newcastle United. We, my kids and I, have loved standing on the terraces with the fans"
Mike, you were supposed to be the chairman of the football club, you weren't supposed to be on the terraces. Surely, with all of your life experience, you must have known that pretending to be something you're not was never going to pay off. Geordies aren't stupid and for all the footage of fans patting you on the back, every Newcastle fan I've actually spoken to has been suspicious of your behaviour. They would have had much more respect for you if you'd stayed in the boardroom and not patronised them in the stands.
Still you've learned your lesson now and I congratulate you for your decision to sell the club. Now stop crying, and don't let the door hit your bum on the way out.
Yours,
Slipperduke
"I paid £134 million out of my own pocket for the club. I then poured another £110 million into the club not to pay off the debt but just to reduce it. The club is still in debt....Before I had spent a penny on wages or buying players Newcastle United had cost me more than a quarter of a billion pounds."
What exactly are you attempting to say here, Mike? Are you expressing surprise at the scale of the problems at St James Park, or is it regret for the fact that you decided to take them on? Surely there was an investigation into the state of Newcastle United's finances before the purchase went through? Listening to this is like listening to someone whining about buying a second-hand car "I paid two grand for this, and look at it! I've had to shell out for a new engine, new shocks, the chassis was falling apart and there was a dirty great crack down the windscreen. I haven't even driven it, and it's cost me thousands!"
What do you want? Sympathy?! If you can't afford it, don't buy it!
"The truth is that Newcastle could not sustain buying the Shevchenko's, Robinho's or the Berbatov's"
Nobody expected them to! Goodness me, we were surprised enough when Manchester City signed Robinho, I'd have fallen off my chair if he'd have ended up at St James Park. The Toon Army aren't stupid, they know that they can't attract the top bracket of players and, to my knowledge, this had never been an issue. Stop trying to obscure the real issue, that the players you did attract were brought into the club against the wishes of the 'manager'.
"One person alone can't manage a Premiership football club and scout the world looking for world class players and stars of the future. It needs a structure and it needs people who are dedicated to that task."
Really?! It seems to work quite well for Manchester United and Arsenal! The two most consistently successful teams of recent years are led by strong-minded individuals who know how to delegate tasks. Granted, you won't find Sir Alex Ferguson watching the Danish league every weekend, but you can bet your bottom dollar that no-one signs for the club without his final say-so. Why couldn't this policy have worked at Newcastle? What was to be gained by undermining Kevin Keegan with the interference of an unpopular former Chelsea midfielder and an unknown property developer!
"One of the reasons that the club was so in debt when I took over was due to transfer dealings caused by managers moving in and out of the club. Every time there was a change in manager millions would be spent on new players and millions would be lost as players were sold. It can't keep on working like that. It is just madness."
You're absolutely right. It is madness. Remind me again, how many managers have you seen clear their desks since you bought the club? Stability comes from the top and if you hadn't been so keen to dump Allardyce after barely half a season, then you wouldn't have had to refit and reshape the team again. If you knew Allardyce wasn't right for you, then why didn't you remove him when you arrived? Take a trip to The Riverside Stadium, have a look at the way that Middlesbrough chairman Steve Gibson conducts himself and backs his managers. That's what you should have done!
"I am still a fan of Newcastle United. We, my kids and I, have loved standing on the terraces with the fans"
Mike, you were supposed to be the chairman of the football club, you weren't supposed to be on the terraces. Surely, with all of your life experience, you must have known that pretending to be something you're not was never going to pay off. Geordies aren't stupid and for all the footage of fans patting you on the back, every Newcastle fan I've actually spoken to has been suspicious of your behaviour. They would have had much more respect for you if you'd stayed in the boardroom and not patronised them in the stands.
Still you've learned your lesson now and I congratulate you for your decision to sell the club. Now stop crying, and don't let the door hit your bum on the way out.
Yours,
Slipperduke
