'Karaoke Capers'

Rob Noxious · Oct 15, 2009

I was a bit of a late convert to 'Karaoke Capers.' In the early nineties, I could be seen grimacing and tutting in the corners of various hostelries, muttering about the murdering of The Clash's 'Should I Stay...' by misbegotten meatheads and generally being a bit of a misery when the wannabee warblers got behind the mike. However, a few years later, I found myself experiencing a surge of admiration for all the guys and gals who put themselves up there to be pilloried and ridiculed. When karaoke became kitsch, I suddenly wanted to be up there with the worst of them...

I think it was seeing one of the local bands down our way - a motley crew of ex-punks and longhairs called 'The Chutney Ferrets' - do a version of The Small Faces' 'Lazy Sunday' which set me on my way. It was the sheer punked-up vaudeville of their performance and the unbridled enthusiasm for a bit of a knees-up that made this my very own karaoke caper. If there is any karaoke going on anywhere, it is now in my DNA to do my own peculiar version of this once fine song. I really can't help myself. Sure it helps to have a few looseners but I am the 'Martini' of karaoke once I get a sniff of a rendition - any time, any place, anywhere you'll find me belting this out to an unsuspecting audience given half a chance. I can't sing - this is obvious from the moment I start barking out the "Wouldn't it be nice..." intro - but somehow a combination of dodgy dance moves and outlandish expressions seems to get the public on my side. This and my elocution lessons in estuary English perhaps... I guess it's best not to analyse the magic of the performance and simply accept that my karaoke caper does it when needed. Anyway, enough about me...what's your selection of choice and why?

Benfleet A1 · Oct 15, 2009

The Chutney Ferrets!! That rings a bell. I think one or two of them were originally in a band called Chaos, formed at Appleton School around 1980. I remember the first gig at the Holy Family Church Hall well. Two power cuts and a blown amp before the end of the third song followed by a mini riot and the priest giving one of the Benfleet Manor Mob a dig for ripping down a curtain. That was also the night a certain Chris Avis (known to our resident commie) rearranged a chaps ball bag with his size 10 steel toecaps. Matey thought his mates would back him up..........wrong. I remember that Chris was wearing a Southend scarf at the time. Southend aggro in Benfleet, those were the days.

canveyshrimper · Oct 15, 2009

I have been persuaded to belt out Delilah when under the affluence of too much incohol. But more in the mode of the Sensational Alex Harvey Band than Tom Jones.

Firestorm · Oct 15, 2009

I have vowed that I would only do karoke if they had Olivers Army or Rat trap, to date I have never been called upon

Jedi Shrimper · Oct 15, 2009

I hate karaoke. I vowed never to do it. Then on my stag night a fellow SZer dragged me up and we did the Clash 'Rock The Casbah'. The personal ban is now back in place.