Joke (not safe for work, kids, clique or lefties)

[Hotman]

Following the Mumbai terrorism police are concerned that there will be a spate of copycat attacks. Specific intelligence has been received that Bradford is a target for this ethnic cleansing of Brits and Americans.

Police fear that the death count could be as high as 7.

 

[Perth Bambi]

Think you Jean-Charles de Menezes onewas better.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

Stephen Hawking went out the other night for his first romantic date in 12 years.

When he came home, he was covered in bruises, his nose was bloodied, and he had several broken bones.

Apparently she stood him up.

 

[Shrimper]

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a Ford?

Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Ford

What's the difference between Thomas the tank engine and Diana?

Thomas made it through the tunnel.

 

[Hotman]

What's the difference between a Ferrari Mercedes and a Ford?

Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Ford

What's the difference between Thomas the tank engine and Diana?

Thomas made it through the tunnel.

Corrected for accuracy.

What have Diana and Ferrero rochet got in common?

Both come out of France in boxes

 

[Hotman]

What was the worst thing about diana's stay in France?

the hard pillars

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

I remember on The X Factor there was a 25-year-old black woman with five kids who'd previously been a crack addict. Simon Cowell said she was a "unique person".

I think we can all tell he hasn't been to Croydon recently.

 

[davewebbsbrain]

What was the worst thing about diana's stay in France?

the hard pillars

Haynes have brought a new manual especially for Mercedes.

How to get a Princess out of an engine!

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

I got chatting to a 14 year old girl on the Internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up.

She turned out to be an undercover detective.

How cool is that at her age?

 

[sufcalways]

Got this joke on my phone, loved it :) but the death count was 2 not 7 lol :D

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

I've invented a new game.

You get a group of Pikeys and lock them in a Cellar for a Month without any food.

It's called Hungry Hungry Gyppos.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

What's the worst thing about being the groom at a Saudi wedding?

Getting lumbered with the ten-year old cousin your uncle didn't fancy.