Interview disasters.

[Mad Cyril]

After a final interview last week I thanked the interviewers for their time and left certain that an offer would be forthcoming.

Unfortunately I trod on a discarded ice lolly outside the building and slipped over in clear sight of hundreds of people. I'll let you know if I get an offer.

Any more horror stories?

 

[canveyshrimper]

Not so much a horror story, I was approached about a job and went along to the interview in two minds as to whether I wanted the job. Half way through the interview I decided that I didn't want the job. Then the interviewer asked this question.

"Does the thought of comi ng to work very early, working long hours and leaving late excite you?"

I said "Frankly no."

Within two minutes I was out on the street.

 

[Napster]

I was at an AON assessment day, and got to the interview with 2 senior bods at the end of the day. We started talking about football, and they said they were Spurs fans. I said: ah yes, I remember when we should have beaten your lot in 1987, still gutted and what a dirty piece of work Mabbutt is. I didn't hear back.

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

I was at an AON assessment day, and got to the interview with 2 senior bods at the end of the day. We started talking about football, and they said they were Spurs fans. I said: ah yes, I remember when we should have beaten your lot in 1987, still gutted and what a dirty piece of work Mabbutt is. I didn't hear back.

I'm not surprised they weren't impressed: we played Spurs in 1989.

 

[Jam_Man]

I remember years ago going for a job in Romford and the bloke kept me waiting in the waiting room for nearly an hour, at which point Id already decided I wouldnt take any job there.
Then when we sat down he looked at my CV said I didnt have the database experience they were looking for (which I never claimed to have and the job mentioned nothing about databases) and that was pretty much it.

I barely said a word to him and left.

Quality.

 

[Benfleet A1]

Years ago I realised my mistake of leaving the post office and made attempts to get back in. As nothing was going at Benfleet, I applied to Basildon and made test and interview stage. The test at the time was passable by brain dead plackton (three footprints to choose from, who was the last person up the snow covered path, postman everytime) and the written questions hadn't changed since the 1950's so I breezed through that bit. Went to the interview and was confronted with the biggest bellend of a jobsworth ever to wear a company tie. I wanted this job, I needed this job, I regreted leaving in the first place, an cardinal sin in the Royal Mails eyes but I used to be pretty damn good at it. As The General will tell you, there is a little bit more than just pushing letters through someones door to the job and as I was an old hand, so to speak, I thought I might be a shoe in.

How wrong can you be. No matter that I could sort and pidgon hole 100 letters in 2 minutes, who cared if I was the youngest PHG (Postman Higher Grade) in the county (trust me, reaching PHG at 19 years of age was unheard of) not a jot did it matter that I had trudged all 50 walks at Benfleet and all the driving duties to boot. Oh no, Mr Company Tie, You Left So Should Be Publicly Hanged For Treason, Bellend Equire was more interested in how I would get to work. It went something like this,

'How will you get to work in the morning'

'In my car'

'What if it wont start'

'I'll call the AA to get it started'

'What if they can't start it?

'I'll ride my bike in'

'What if you have a flat tyre?

I was hitting breaking point.

'Then I'll walk in if need be, look I'll get in somehow'

'What if there is 3ft of snow on the ground?

Check.

'THEN I'LL STAY AT HOME AND GO BACK TO SLEEP AS 3FT OF SNOW WILL KNACKER THE ****ING ROYAL MAIL FOR A WEEK!!!

Check Mate to me.

I didn't get the job.

 

[MK Shrimper]

When I was 16 I was strong-armed into applying for a job in Lloyds Bank.

Interviewer - "What was your worst subject at school?"

16 yr old me - "Business Studies".

23 years of a railway "career" later here I am, not being a banker and not hated by humanity (unless their train is late). :thumbsup:

 

[Mad Cyril]

When I was 16 I was strong-armed into applying for a job in Lloyds Bank.

Interviewer - "What was your worst subject at school?"

16 yr old me - "Business Studies".

23 years of a railway "career" later here I am, not being a banker and not hated by humanity (unless their train is late). :thumbsup:

If you had got the job in the bank you might have retired by now.

 

[Firestorm]

A mate of mine was interviewing a woman for a vacancy in his department, it was all going really well, she had the experienced required and seemed to be personable enough, it was basically hers.
As the interview was winding down my mate said, "just one final thing, bit of a formality really but you have given the reason for leaving your last position as "personal" , please could you expand on that a bit , i mean its not like you were sleeping with your boss is it ?"
She duly burst into tears and ran out, it turned out she was or at least had been.....

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

When I was 16 I was strong-armed into applying for a job in Lloyds Bank.

Interviewer - "What was your worst subject at school?"

16 yr old me - "Business Studies".

23 years of a railway "career" later here I am, not being a banker and not hated by humanity (unless their train is late). :thumbsup:

Is it bankers' arrogance which makes them so hated?

 

[canveyshrimper]

We had a lass complete our application form which to be fair is crap.

Question : Method of travel to work.
Answer : Train

Question : Next of kin.
Answer : Bus

She didn't get the job.:sad:

 

[Tangled up in Blue]

If you had got the job in the bank you might have retired by now.

My younger brother(not Shrimpero,the other one)is an Investment(used to be Merchant) Banker.He always said he could retire at 50 if he wanted to.He passed that particular landmark nearly 9 years ago.He's still working.:winking:

As for a bad interview experience of my own...I remember just after completing a PGCE course back in the late 70's,I went for a job as a teacher with VSO.It wasn't so much that the interview went badly,it was just that as the interviewer came over, to call me in for the interview, I was clearly reading the situations vacant pages in the TES.Needless to say I didn't get the job.:blush:

 

[Gremlin]

My younger brother(not Shrimpero,the other one)is an Investment(used to be Merchant) Banker.He always said he could retire at 50 if he wanted to.He passed that particular landmark nearly 9 years ago.He's still working.:winking:

Good for him that he continues to plough his efforts back in even though he no longer needs the money. Selfless stuff.

 

[Mad Cyril]

Turns out I didn't get the job.

Role description and phone interview focussed on Scala.

Turns out they were actually looking for a Java web developer. If this had been mentioned at the phone interview stage it might have saved both parties from wasting their time and saved me getting Calyppo all over my ****ing Farahs.

 

[Napster]

Turns out I didn't get the job.

Role description and phone interview focussed on Scala.

Turns out they were actually looking for a Java web developer. If this had been mentioned at the phone interview stage it might have saved both parties from wasting their time and saved me getting Calyppo all over my ****ing Farahs.

You say Scala, I say Java. Let's call the whole thing off

 

[Tangled up in Blue]

Good for him that he continues to plough his efforts back in even though he no longer needs the money. Selfless stuff.

:nope: Actually,I think it's the opposite of selflessness we're really talking about here.:whistling:

 

[Blue_Wes]

Was asked by the two interviewers did I want a glass of water before I went in. We went to the water cooler I collected my drink and we went off to the interview room. Being a gentleman I let my two lady interviewers go in and sit down first. I went to place my water on the table, but instead of placing it nicely on the table, I inexplicably launched it at my two interviewees, soaking one and splashing the other.

After the initial shock on their part, horror on mine, we had a kinda laugh and got on with the interview; and despite my water based assault I still amazingly made the final two, but failed at the final hurdle.

 

[canveyshrimper]

Was asked by the two interviewers did I want a glass of water before I went in. We went to the water cooler I collected my drink and we went off to the interview room. Being a gentleman I let my two lady interviewers go in and sit down first. I went to place my water on the table, but instead of placing it nicely on the table, I inexplicably launched it at my two interviewees, soaking one and splashing the other.

After the initial shock on their part, horror on mine, we had a kinda laugh and got on with the interview; and despite my water based assault I still amazingly made the final two, but failed at the final hurdle.

Bein g the water jump of course. :smile:

 

[davewebbsbrain]

On the opposite side of the coin, I interviewed a young lad with my senior manager recently and when looking at his CV, I noticed he had supported 5000 Citrix users. He wasn't making himself sound too appealing so i tried to coax him into talking more about this support.

He said he didn't even know what Citrix was and I asked why he had put it on his CV. He said he hadn't.

Turns out I had the CV of the guy we were interviewing the next day. My senior manager fell about laughing fortunately