In Englands Green and Pleasant Land

[BLUEBLOOD]

An incident occurred in a supermarket recently, when the following was witnessed:

A Muslim woman dressed in a Burkha (A black gown & face mask) was standing with her shopping in a queue at the checkout.


When it was her turn to be served, and as she reached the cashier, she made a loud remark about the English Flag lapel pin, which the female cashier was wearing on her blouse.

The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said, "Yes, I always wear it proudly. My son serves abroad with the forces and I wear it for him".


The Muslim woman then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing and killing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.

At that point, a Gentleman standing in the queue stepped forward, and interrupted with a calm and gentle voice, and said to the Iraqi woman:

"Excuse me, but hundreds of thousands of men and women, just like this ladies son have fought and sacrificed their lives so that people just like YOU can stand here, in England, which is MY country and allow you to blatantly accuse an innocent check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen".

"It is my belief that if you were allowed to be as outspoken as that in Iraq, which you claim to be YOUR country, then we wouldn't need to be fighting there today".

"However - now that you have learned how to speak out and criticise the English people who have afforded you the protection of MY country, I will gladly pay the cost of a ticket to help you pay your way back to Iraq".

"When you get there, and if you manage to survive for being as outspoken as what you are here in England, then you should be able to help straighten out the mess which YOUR Iraqi countrymen have got you into in the first place, which appears to be the reason that you have come to MY country to avoid."

Apparently the queue cheered and applauded.

 

[SUFCEssex]

Apparently the queue cheered and applauded.

Just as we would if we'd been there.

 

[Desert Shrimper]

That sounds like a made up loads of bollocks to me. Did the three bears stroll by en route to a bowl of porridge in aisle 3?

 

[londonblue]

That sounds like a made up loads of bollocks to me.

Me too....

 

[TrueBlue]

Me too....

mite be bollox mite not be but if true that bloke is bang on!

 

[Mad Cyril]

This is a great story but I feel it might have more impact if the woman was burning a flag and sh!tting on a picture of the Queen mum as well.

 

[Slipperduke]

It's his calm and gentle voice that does it for me. That's the difference between us and the fuzzie-wuzzies, you see?

 

[Desert Shrimper]

This is a great story but I feel it might have more impact if the woman was burning a flag and sh!tting on a picture of the Queen mum as well.

Yes. Perhaps the three bears could also have been stopped from eating their porridge by a group of canabis smoking asylum seekers who had set up camp illegally in aisle three.

 

[DTS]

Either way as a story I love it........

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

An incident occurred in a petrol station recently, when the following was witnessed:

A Zimbabwean woman dressed traditional African costume was standing with her shopping in a queue at the checkout.


When it was her turn to be served, and as she reached the cashier, she made a loud remark about the English Flag lapel pin, which the female cashier was wearing on her blouse.

The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said, "Yes, I always wear it proudly. My son serves abroad with the forces and I wear it for him".


The African woman then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing and killing her countrymen, explaining that she was from Zimbabwe.

At that point, a Gentleman standing in the queue stepped forward, and interrupted with a calm and gentle voice, and said to the Zimbabwean woman:

"Excuse me, but hundreds of thousands of men and women, just like this ladies son have fought and sacrificed their lives so that people just like YOU can stand here, in England, which is MY country and allow you to blatantly accuse an innocent check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen".

"It is my belief that if you were allowed to be as outspoken as that in Zimbabwe, which you claim to be YOUR country, then we wouldn't need to be fighting there today".

"However - now that you have learned how to speak out and criticise the English people who have afforded you the protection of MY country, I will gladly pay the cost of a ticket to help you pay your way back to Zimbabwe".

"When you get there, and if you manage to survive for being as outspoken as what you are here in England, then you should be able to help straighten out the mess which YOUR Zimbabwean countrymen have got you into in the first place, which appears to be the reason that you have come to MY country to avoid."

Apparently the queue cheered and applauded and filled up their cars with cheap Iraqi petrol.

 

[Benfleet A1]

An incident occurred in a petrol station recently, when the following was witnessed:

A Zimbabwean woman dressed traditional African costume was standing with her shopping in a queue at the checkout.


When it was her turn to be served, and as she reached the cashier, she made a loud remark about the English Flag lapel pin, which the female cashier was wearing on her blouse.

The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said, "Yes, I always wear it proudly. My son serves abroad with the forces and I wear it for him".


The African woman then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing and killing her countrymen, explaining that she was from Zimbabwe.

At that point, a Gentleman standing in the queue stepped forward, and interrupted with a calm and gentle voice, and said to the Zimbabwean woman:

"Excuse me, but hundreds of thousands of men and women, just like this ladies son have fought and sacrificed their lives so that people just like YOU can stand here, in England, which is MY country and allow you to blatantly accuse an innocent check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen".

"It is my belief that if you were allowed to be as outspoken as that in Zimbabwe, which you claim to be YOUR country, then we wouldn't need to be fighting there today".

"However - now that you have learned how to speak out and criticise the English people who have afforded you the protection of MY country, I will gladly pay the cost of a ticket to help you pay your way back to Zimbabwe".

"When you get there, and if you manage to survive for being as outspoken as what you are here in England, then you should be able to help straighten out the mess which YOUR Zimbabwean countrymen have got you into in the first place, which appears to be the reason that you have come to MY country to avoid."

Apparently the queue cheered and applauded and filled up their cars with cheap Iraqi petrol.

Complete bollix!! Where was this cheap petrol then?

 

[mattytheshrimper]

well done to that man. everything he said was right!

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

well done to that man. everything he said was right!

:hilarious: :hilarious: :hilarious:

 

[Xàbia Shrimper]

well done to that man. everything he said was right!

 

[Davros]

Just as we would if we'd been there.

and then he got the girl, rode of into the sunset, and they all lived happily ever after

 

[cockles is back]

That sounds like a made up loads of bollocks to me. Did the three bears stroll by en route to a bowl of porridge in aisle 3?

love it....

 

[cockles is back]

An incident occurred in a petrol station recently, when the following was witnessed:

A Zimbabwean woman dressed traditional African costume was standing with her shopping in a queue at the checkout.


When it was her turn to be served, and as she reached the cashier, she made a loud remark about the English Flag lapel pin, which the female cashier was wearing on her blouse.

The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said, "Yes, I always wear it proudly. My son serves abroad with the forces and I wear it for him".


The African woman then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing and killing her countrymen, explaining that she was from Zimbabwe.

At that point, a Gentleman standing in the queue stepped forward, and interrupted with a calm and gentle voice, and said to the Zimbabwean woman:

"Excuse me, but hundreds of thousands of men and women, just like this ladies son have fought and sacrificed their lives so that people just like YOU can stand here, in England, which is MY country and allow you to blatantly accuse an innocent check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen".

"It is my belief that if you were allowed to be as outspoken as that in Zimbabwe, which you claim to be YOUR country, then we wouldn't need to be fighting there today".

"However - now that you have learned how to speak out and criticise the English people who have afforded you the protection of MY country, I will gladly pay the cost of a ticket to help you pay your way back to Zimbabwe".

"When you get there, and if you manage to survive for being as outspoken as what you are here in England, then you should be able to help straighten out the mess which YOUR Zimbabwean countrymen have got you into in the first place, which appears to be the reason that you have come to MY country to avoid."

Apparently the queue cheered and applauded and filled up their cars with cheap Iraqi petrol.

fuk me that fella gets about...............