Help required from da kidz

[Slipperduke]

You might remember that, this time last season, an Irish newspaper commissioned me to write a fictional account of an intercepted SMS conversation between Carlo Ancelotti and Rafa Benitez. The catch was that both managers had to be portrayed as being well versed in the patois of the nation's youth.

Astonishingly, they've come back looking for a sequel. This is both good (Mrs Slipperduke needs a holiday) and bad (it was a struggle to execute last season and it wasn't much easier this time around)

Any advice or pointers from the younger readers will be rewarded with the full weight of my 106pt Rep button. Abuse from the older readers will be accepted on the chin as, if the situation was reversed, I'd be ripping the **** out of me. If you see what I mean.




AG - hi sir alex, jst wnted to wish u good lck!!

SAF - who dat?

AG - is me! is Avram!

SAF - Oh. bit busy rite now.

AG - Every1 busy rite now. i txt Roman he busy. i text JT he busy. i txt tal haim he send back swearwords

SAF - hrd job innit?

AG - hrd?! lol! I almost win title, in final of europe & stl no1 like me. how do u mak dem lik u?

SAF - lol! no1 lik me, they fear me!

AG - wot do u think i should do? shout at malouda, kick boot at Cech? Actually bttr not. nowhere else to put a bandage

SAF - just b u

AG - tried dat. they call me the average 1

SAF - dont talk 2 dem then

AG - tried dat. they call me avram grump

SAF - they gave me respeck when i picked my youth team players. dats da best ting 2 do.

AG - lol! i am chelsea manager! wots 2nd best ting?

SAF - wot abt playing gr8 football?

AG - lol! u really dont no me at all, do u? 3rd best ting?

SAF - look, ill tell u what bill shankly told me

AG - who dat?

SAF - nvr mind. you want 2 no?

AG - y

SAF - go away and stop bothering me.

AG - :( tell me wot he said first?

SAF -dat was it

AG - :(

SAF - u have to find out 4 urself wot gets u respeck

AG - I cld win in moscow?

SAF- no avram i rly dont tink u can

AG - i WILL win :) dey will cal me da special 1 lol! blue is da colour, football is da sport, chelski are da team dat we all support! how do u lik dem apples? ;)

AG - alex?

AG - :(

 

[Bentley's Absurd Gait]

Dashed bad form old boy......

But most amusing all the same. Pimms o'clock I'd say.

 

[fredheim_holm]

You might remember that, this time last season, an Irish newspaper commissioned me to write a fictional account of an intercepted SMS conversation between Carlo Ancelotti and Rafa Benitez. The catch was that both managers had to be portrayed as being well versed in the patois of the nation's youth.

Astonishingly, they've come back looking for a sequel. This is both good (Mrs Slipperduke needs a holiday) and bad (it was a struggle to execute last season and it wasn't much easier this time around)

Any advice or pointers from the younger readers will be rewarded with the full weight of my 106pt Rep button. Abuse from the older readers will be accepted on the chin as, if the situation was reversed, I'd be ripping the **** out of me. If you see what I mean.




AG - hi sir alex, jst wnted 2 wish u gd lck!!

SAF - who dat?

AG - is me! is Avram!

SAF - O. bit busy rite now.

AG - Every1 busy rite now. i txt Roman he busy. i text JT he busy. i txt tal haim he send back swearwords

SAF - hrd job innit?

AG - hrd?! lol! I almost win title, in final of europe & stl no1 like me. how do u mak dem lik u?

SAF - lol! no1 lik me, dey fear me!

AG - wot do u fink i should do? shout at malouda, kick boot at Cech? Actually bttr not. nowhere else to put a bandage

SAF - just b u

AG - tried dat. they call me the average 1

SAF - dont talk 2 dem den

AG - tried dat. they call me avram grump

SAF - they gave me respeck when i picked my youth team players. dats da best ting 2 do.

AG - lol! am chelsea manager! wots 2nd best ting?

SAF - wot abt playing gr8 football?

AG - lol! u really dont no me at all, do u? 3rd best ting?

SAF - look, ill tell u what bill shankly told me

AG - who dat?

SAF - nvr mind. you want 2 no?

AG - y

SAF - go away and stop bothering me.

AG - :( tell me wot he said first?

SAF - dat was it

AG - :(

SAF - u have to find out 4 urself wot gets u respeck

AG - I cld win in moscow?

SAF- no avram i rly dont tink u can

AG - i WILL win :) dey will cal me da special 1 lol! blue is da colour, football is da sport, chelski are da team dat we all support! how do u lik dem apples? ;)

AG - alex?

AG - :(

Thats my edit to bring it up to text language.

Thankfully I text literally, but have knowledge of the feindish shorthand.

 

[Bluesmanager]

Bloody superb. Loved the dig at Cech.

 

[fredheim_holm]

My favourite part:

AG - Every1 busy rite now. i txt Roman he busy. i text JT he busy. i txt tal haim he send back swearwords

:D

 

[EastStandBlue]

AG - yo SAF, jst wnted 2 wish u gd lck!!

SAF - who r u?

AG - is me! is Avram!

SAF - Oh. bit busy rite now.

AG - Every1 busy rite now. i txt Roman he busy. i text JT he busy. i txt tal haim he snd bk swearwords

SAF - hrd job innit?

AG - hrd?! lol! I almost win title, in final of europe & stl no1 like me. how do u mak dem lik u?

SAF - lol! no1 lik me, they fear me!

AG - wot do u tink i shud do? shout at malouda, kick boot at Cech? Actually bttr not. nowhere else to put a bandage

SAF - just b u

AG - tried dat. they call me the average 1

SAF - dont talk 2 dem then

AG - tried dat. they call me avram grump

SAF - they gave me respeck when i picked my yoof team playrs. dats da best ting 2 do.

AG - lol! i am chelsea manager! wots 2nd best ting?

SAF - wot abt playing gr8 ftball?

AG - lol! u really dont no me at all, do u? 3rd best ting?

SAF - look, ill tell u what bill shankly told me

AG - who dat?

SAF - nvr mind. you want 2 no?

AG - y

SAF - go away n stop bothering me.

AG - tell me wot he said first?

SAF -dat was it

AG -

SAF - u have to find out 4 urself wot gets u respeck

AG - I cld win in moscow?

SAF- no avram i rly dont tink u can

AG - i WILL win dey will cal me da special 1 lol! blue is da colour, football is da sport, chelski are da team dat we all support! how do u lik dem apples?

AG - alex?

AG -

 

[Slipperduke]

Do they still say 'yo'? We said that in my day!

 

[fredheim_holm]

Only in the hood. If you're not black and don't have your trousers round you're ankle then you'd look stupid saying yo.

 

[Lester Bangs]

SAF - look, ill tell u what bill shankly told me

AG - who dat?

That had me laughing into my wine - a good job Sir Slipper!

PS I always sticking a z on the end of LoL really makes me down the kids if you pardon the phrase!

 

[McNasty]

My man, u iz like me -- from da street. Wen u iz in da Spread nxt we do da sherbert gear in da crappa --- maek u eyes bulge an evrytink.

 

[Hector of the House]

You might remember that, this time last season, an Irish newspaper commissioned me to write a fictional account of an intercepted SMS conversation between Carlo Ancelotti and Rafa Benitez. The catch was that both managers had to be portrayed as being well versed in the patois of the nation's youth.

Astonishingly, they've come back looking for a sequel. This is both good (Mrs Slipperduke needs a holiday) and bad (it was a struggle to execute last season and it wasn't much easier this time around)

Any advice or pointers from the younger readers will be rewarded with the full weight of my 106pt Rep button. Abuse from the older readers will be accepted on the chin as, if the situation was reversed, I'd be ripping the **** out of me. If you see what I mean.




AG - hi sir alex, jst wnted to wish u good lck!!

SAF - who dat?

AG - is me! is Avram!

SAF - Oh. bit busy rite now.

AG - Every1 busy rite now. i txt Roman he busy. i text JT he busy. i txt tal haim he send back swearwords

SAF - hrd job innit?

AG - hrd?! lol! I almost win title, in final of europe & stl no1 like me. how do u mak dem lik u?

SAF - lol! no1 lik me, they fear me!

AG - wot do u think i should do? shout at malouda, kick boot at Cech? Actually bttr not. nowhere else to put a bandage

SAF - just b u

AG - tried dat. they call me the average 1

SAF - dont talk 2 dem then

AG - tried dat. they call me avram grump

SAF - they gave me respeck when i picked my youth team players. dats da best ting 2 do.

AG - lol! i am chelsea manager! wots 2nd best ting?

SAF - wot abt playing gr8 football?

AG - lol! u really dont no me at all, do u? 3rd best ting?

SAF - look, ill tell u what bill shankly told me

AG - who dat?

SAF - nvr mind. you want 2 no?

AG - y

SAF - go away and stop bothering me.

AG - :( tell me wot he said first?

SAF -dat was it

AG - :(

SAF - u have to find out 4 urself wot gets u respeck

AG - I cld win in moscow?

SAF- no avram i rly dont tink u can

AG - i WILL win :) dey will cal me da special 1 lol! blue is da colour, football is da sport, chelski are da team dat we all support! how do u lik dem apples? ;)

AG - alex?

AG - :(

I didn't understand a word of that so it must be spot on.