Funniest in the classroom comment.

[DTS]

Following on from the other 64 threads about or school days I am now looking for the funniest comment that you or a class mate made during your time at school which really stands out. I except it wont be funny now maybe but there you go.

I am going for my own personal comment. Made my class die at the time.

We were doing French and I got called to the top of the class by our big chested yet rough as a dog french teachers Mrs Chandler.

She turned on the overhead projector and a diagram came up.

There was Mum,Dad and six children. Now Mrs Chandler asked me what sort of relationship Pierre (The Dad) and Marie (The Mum) had. Now the correct answer was they are married.

However me being me when Mrs Chandler asked what sort of relationship the couple had I said "Sexual" (As they had six kids)

Whilst the rest of the class fell about laughing Mrs Chandler didnt seem to see the funny side and I was made to work the rest of the lesson outside but it was a price worth paying.

Anyone else got a funny school days story?

 

[canveyshrimper]

We always had a regular assembly in the mornings, a hymn and prayer normally given by the head to the assembled in dead silence. Our group always tried to be as near the back as possible for the purposes of an early escape or a chance to bunk off. One morning there was the usual deathly hush, when someone near us unleashed a massive fart, which absolutely convulsed us witha fit of the giggles. Unfortunately none of us were the perpertrator of said gas attack, but we were all dragged to the heads office to be punished despite our protestations of innocence. I can still feel that bloody cane now, wonder if Miss Whiplash will be available tonight?

 

[Benji91]

I remember an end of term quiz we did in class at primary school where we had to name 3 London Bridges, after Tower and London we were stuck for one when one of the kids with a dead straight face said "Stamford"

 

[SUFC_Al]

Individual comments from my school days are somewhat hazy but whilst sitting down at an assembly one morning the kid next to me done the most brilliantly timed fart ever. The headmaster had just finished his opening speech and the hall was silent for all of 5 seconds and the delivery of the parp was unrivalled and the size of the hall only added to the sound. Que hysterics from everyone and the poor soul was hauled up in front of the whole assembly (about 250 people) and he had to say "I'm sorry about that, bodily functions aren't funny".

He got detention for a week :hilarious:

 

[Mad Cyril]

The sausage on a fork bit from the opening credits of Grange Hill was partially based on an amusing episode from my school days.

 

[Mad Cyril]

My French teacher (Mrs. Coombes) gave me a detention for drawing on my excercise book and told me to cover it.

Upset at this harsh treatment I covered the book in purple shag pile carpet.

Result - two more detentions.

 

[Bluesmanager]

Several for me:

I don't know if they did it thirty years back but nowadays schools have houses and house matches (various sporting events held throughout the year that lasted all afternoon - Excellent excuse to skive classes!) Anyhow, I always put my name down as much as possible unless it was one I was truely cack at, I ended up scoring my house's only goal in football once, just ran up the pitch, edge of the box and lumped it into the top corner. I say ran up the pitch because I was supposed to be a defender at the time. I was getting loads of stick for not being in defence too. That kind of stopped after that.

I also scored a hattrick in Rugby, no idea how to this day, which was rather funny because I can't catch a ball for toffee.

Another one didn't directly involve me but it was funny at the time. Indoor cricket in the gym. 4 runs if you hit the wall after a bounce, 6 with no bounce and 12 if you could get it through the basketball hoop at the other end of the gym. My PE class was chockablock with the kind of kids who think they can do anything. So one guy gets really annoyed at this, grabs the plastic bat from the guy before him, goes out with a look of thunder on his face, and wallops that ball as hard as he can (I swear you could hear the reverberations from the park up the road). Everyone fielding dives out of the way, except for one guy who's standing there, hands up in front of his nose, practically begging to be hit. He got a broken nose.

Finally, on GCSE results day, I went in, got the envelope, had to get someone else to actually open the darned thing (what is it with envelopes and being hard to open these days?) Looked at them: "D... E... F for French. F also stands for F'd p... C... A... - A!?!?!? I GOT AN A!?!?!?!?!" Cue five minutes of me shouting and screaming. Funny part (for me): I was standing right next to my head of year and headmaster at the time. Think I made half the school temporaily deaf too.

 

[JoshC]

as put on another post my biology teacher seemed to always get things wrong last year when we were talking he yelled at us "This is not a bear garden!!!" i nearly ****ed myself laughing

 

[Bluesmanager]

Surely it would be a Beer garden?

 

[JoshC]

nope he definately said bear

 

[Bluesmanager]

O...K...

Another one that happened to me - Remember when E4 used to show all those "100 Greatest" shows? They showed "100 Greatest Kids TV Shows" once. I went into tutorial the next day, and started talking to a mate about it:

Me: Remember Ivor the Engine?
Mate: Oh yeah! What was the noise he made?
Me: Chhhh-ch-choo
Mate: *Joins in*

Five minutes later:

Me: Is it just me, or has it gone rather quiet in here...?

 

[EastStandBlue]

My French teacher (Mrs. Coombes) gave me a detention for drawing on my excercise book and told me to cover it.

Upset at this harsh treatment I covered the book in purple shag pile carpet.

Result - two more detentions.

I remember that Egyptian. Somebody sneezed in my class, Somebody else said "Bless you"... She came out with "There will be no Blessing in my Class!!" and sent the kid out.

Crazy Egyptian that Woman was.

 

[Bluesmanager]

Now that's just plain weird...

The Geography and History departments at my old secondary were at loggerheads with each other all the time when I was there (of course, being just down the corridor from each other didn't help). Both were headed by complete nutters. The georgraphy head was a Leicester Tigers fan (you could tell when it was not the best time to annoy her because she drank more obscene amounts of coffee than usual and set tons of homework). The History head was named Mr A Hole. Now that's just asking for trouble.

He wasn't a A Hole though - He gave you doughnuts when you had detention with him.

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

as put on another post my biology teacher seemed to always get things wrong last year when we were talking he yelled at us "This is not a bear garden!!!" i nearly ****ed myself laughing

He could have been referring to the Royal Courts of Justice. The Bear Gardens there were supposedly named that by Queen Victoria, as they resembled a crowd watching bear-baiting.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

While at school, I had a theatre rehearsal (yes, I did a bit of am-dram back in the day) with two other actors in a particular play that we were doing. Those chaps were called Robert & Theo, and the rehearsal was being conducted by the teacher in charge of drama, Mr. Fowler-Watt.

Mr. Fowler-Watt made me look, frankly, anorexic - think "Richard Griffiths" and you'd be about there - and thus, unsurprisingly, was known by us pupils as Fowler-Fat... and from there, simply "Fatty".

The room where we were due to have the rehearsal was was slightly oddly shaped, with the result that there were plenty of parts of the room where you could sit and not be seen from at the front door. Whilst Theo and I sat in the middle of the room and nattered away, Mr. Fowler-Watt sat in one of said hidden parts of the room.

Robert was running late, but in true thespian style made a grand entrance when he eventually arrived for the rehearsal. He flung the door open and declaimed in his most Olivier-like accent:

"Where is... Fat-tay?"

From his hidden corner of the room, Fowler-Watt's voice came sighing forth and simply replied:

"I'm here, Robert."

The way in which the question was asked, the manner in which the answer was given, and the look of sheer horror on Robert's face was just one of those priceless moments. Theo and I laughed so much, for so long - the sort of lying on the floor, foetal position, tears down face, gasping for breath laughter - that Fat-tay had to cancel the rehearsal.

I think that's probably the funniest single moment from my school career that I can remember...

:D

 

[davewebbsbrain]

Somebody dropped a stink bomb in our class..Despite my protests that I would be sick, the teacher totally ignored me, Until I puked all over the desk, floor and the poor kid sitting next to me..

Well I did tell the teacher, but they always know best!

 

[choggy]

Our deputy head used to address everybody by calling them 'Master' and then their surname.

We had a lad in our year called Matthew Bates....

 

[sufcintheprem]

My funniest moment on memory was from one of those personal development lessons where they seem to be trying to teach you morals and how to be a good person.

The class had been particularly mature that day and there had been a sensible discussion about discrimination. The chat had moved around from racial discrimination to sexual discrimination where, and I'm not 100%, someone commented that if you didn't agree with it, you could stay away from homosexuals. In response, my teacher quipped, "But how can you tell who is a homosexual?"

After a short pause, one of my classmates piped up with, "Because they have poo on their willies".

Shamefully childish but I think it's the most I've ever laughed at anything.

 

[Xàbia Shrimper]

I barely remember actually attending school, let alone recalling any specific comments, comical or otherwise!! It was over 20 years ago that I left school!

 

[Rbs_shrimp]

One I did that I personally never found funny but it got a laugh. I was in a French lesson and was sitting by the open door when my teacher has come up to me asking for homework. I hadnt done it and couldnt think of a good excuse for why it wasnt done.

The only thing i could think of was the old classic "my dog ate it". Not only did this have my class laughing but the one next door who heard what id said, got a few pats on the back for that one from my mates in the class next door after school.