Fat Bastid's Friday Laugh!

[Fat Bastid]

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg has been invited to a fancy  dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg. so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note, "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate".

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasised his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.

A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says, "Dear Sir, Sorry about our previous suggestion - please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg, and, with  your bald head you will really look the part".

Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from
emphasising  his wooden leg to emphasising his bald head and he writes the company a REALLY rude letter of complaint.

A couple of day's later he receives a small parcel and a
note which reads, "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of golden syrup. Pour the tin of golden syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ar*e and go as a toffee apple".

Coat on and leaving!

FB

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Class.

Matt

 

[Guest]

Bloke goes to a fancy dress party with his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.
"What are you?" asks a party-goer.
"I'm a crab" he replies and points to the lady, "...and this is Michelle!"

 

[the dark deshrimper]

1)Toys-r-us are to start selling David Blaine Dolls. They are expected to be the xmas number one best seller. Unfortunatly the doll takes 44 days to get out of the box.

2) In Russia a scientist dug 300 km into the ground and found a piece of copper wiring. He came to the conclusion that the russians had telephones before anyone else. In America, embarrassed at not being the best, a scientist dug 400km into the ground and found a piece of bronze wire coming ot the conclusion America has phones before anyone.

Over in Ireland a scientist dug 600km into the ground and found nothing. He came to the conclusion that the Irish had mobiles before anyone.

 

[Guest]

Need a cheap present? Buy your son an empty box and tell him it's an Action Man deserter!