Dancing on ice (not).

[Winkle]

Was out really early this morning and had to collect an item from a school in Chelmsford. I walked through the play area and round into the office past some classes of kids about 13/14. Picked said item up and was walking across the playground when I suddenly "Aquaplanned for about 20 yards on my feet, twisting and boping like "shakin stevens " and ended up doing the biggest bycicle kick since my infant school days landing on my a**e. If there been a highjump bar there I would have cleared it by miles. How could I not think for one minute that no one had noticed turning my head to the classes of kids wetting themselves. I just wanted the tarmac to wrap itself round my wet iced carcass and die!

 

[duncan bulgaria]

arghh ice, gets me Reminisnig - put this muddled up few words into order to make a well known sentence about old times pulling in the Southend and Basildon area !!

'Over Granny like ice on goes a'

 

[Pubey]

when i was in france at the weekend, we were filling up at the petrol station (i hate french petrol stations!!) and some french guy in some shiney patent shoes was at the air machine to inflate his tires. when the air pump started he skidded across the very icy pavement, doing a very funny dance as he tried to regain his balance... unfortunately he ended up going ar*e over tit, and shouted his head off at the passing woman who was wetting herself with laughter! it was fecking brilliant!

 

[Jedi Shrimper]

This morning i was walking to the train station, ahead of me was my next door neighbour. I had sensibly decided to walk in the road (it was a quiet sidestreet, no cars about) as there was no ice there, my neighbour was on the very icy pavement and i rounded the corner just in time to see him do a cartoon "help I'm slipping on ice" routine and fall on his arse. It was all i could do not to burst out in hysterics. I caught up to him, and he told me he'd been wearing leather soled shoes! :D

 

[OldBlueLady]

Why is it that the whole country seems determined to wrap us up in cotton wool about perfectly ordinary things like hanging baskets, conkers and the like, yet the pavements and side roads are like flippin' glass? Why on earth did they ever get rid of those big yellow salt containers that used to be on many a street corner so sensible citizens could go and get a shovel full and put it on hazardous areas?

 

[duncan bulgaria]

Why is it that the whole country seems determined to wrap us up in cotton wool about perfectly ordinary things like hanging baskets, conkers and the like, yet the pavements and side roads are like flippin' glass? Why on earth did they ever get rid of those big yellow salt containers that used to be on many a street corner so sensible citizens could go and get a shovel full and put it on hazardous areas?

Cos thats where i and many others would always go a **** if ever i needed a dump and got caught short !!

 

[OldBlueLady]

Cos thats where i and many others would always go a **** if ever i needed a dump and got caught short !!

Which I guess would be a bit of a problem for those sensible citizens.

 

[RobM]

I managed the Rumba, Samba and Watusi all at once!

 

[davewebbsbrain]

There is ice all over the road in my street....fecking great for putting the arse end of my Beemer out...you gotta love RWD motors!!

 

[Bluesmanager]

Got lucky today, toes of my trainers have a ton of grip and my balance is pretty good, although I probably won't be running for the next week or so.

*Imagines several friends going arse over tit. Laughs*

 

[Hotman]

Cos thats where i and many others would always go a **** if ever i needed a dump and got caught short !!

you *******, thats why I ended up with **** on my driveway this morning!!!

 

[Benfleet A1]

I got called out today to some idiot in Billericay who couldn't get their car off the drive because of the ice. Is it really that hard to put some salt down in the tracks and drive off? For AA members is would appear so.

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

I got called out today to some idiot in Billericay who couldn't get their car off the drive because of the ice. Is it really that hard to put some salt down in the tracks and drive off? For AA members is would appear so.

All sorted up here mate.....Council grit all of the paths and all of our private driveways for us.

But if they did not, i would be on the case, i put that anti freeze stuff on the windscreens as well the night before, it works really well.

 

[A Century United]

New house has a ramp from one side up to the front door, but steps down the other side. Wearing crocs, path wet, walked around the house and up the ramp and then down onto the first step, which it traspired had a finish like glass, and next thing I was up in the air and came down with the edge of the step right across my kidneys. Absolute agony and couldn't move at all for a couple of minutes then thought "Thank God that wasn't my wife, thank God that wasn't my head, and" peering around at the neighbouring properties "thank God no one saw me do that".

 

[Bluesmanager]

*Ned Flanders pops up*

Hiddley-ho neighbourino!

 

[canada shrimper]

I was on the ice with my daughter yesterday I had some kind of boot with a metal blade on it to stop us falling over. Just kiddin. it is the first time she has been skating and she loved it.Hoping as she grows up she doesn't fall into the hockey crowd. We both want her to play footie and just skate for fun

 

[davewebbsbrain]

All sorted up here mate.....Council grit all of the paths and all of our private driveways for us.
But if they did not, i would be on the case, i put that anti freeze stuff on the windscreens as well the night before, it works really well.

Thats all the sweaties just walking about doing that ;)

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

Thats all the sweaties just walking about doing that ;)

lol.....what it is, is

When us English let one go, it diffuses in to our boxers/pants/jeans etc....

But when Jock does lets one go....it shoots out in a downwards direction heating the paths and driveways, so eating a ruby the night before and wearing a skirt.....ooooops, i mean Kilt does have its advantages at times!!

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

Thats all the sweaties just walking about doing that ;)

Is that you in the Avatar Dave??