Question Could you find a bride/groom in seven days...

[DTS]

With just seven sleeps to go until my life sentance begins tension at home is at a climax. Mrs DtS is worrying about every little detail of the wedding from what colour the name tags should be to what songs the DJ plans to play over his four hour set list.

I have similar worries such as who is going to get the beer in for our lads last night of freedom party the night before the wedding.

Last nighy Mrs DtS was in a particulat stressed mood so being the kind and considerate boyfriend that I am I told her if she didnt sit down and relax I was going to find a replacement for the wedding next week.

Mrs DtS claimed that with just eight days to go it would be impossible to find anyone that I could convince to marry me. We have ruled out marrages of convience (eg marrying an Asylum Seeker to get right to remain).

I on the other hand am sure that I could find someone if my life depended on it. I am not sayiong she would be a super model but I reckon I could convince somone female to walk down the isle with me next sat.

Over to you guys/girls - If you had to do you think you have it in you to get a new partner within a week, convince them you love them and actually get them to turn up at a wedding they knew had been arranged for someone else?

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

I'm not sure about getting the bird to participate in a wedding that was planned for someone else, but as for the other parts of the deal - yeah, I reckon it could be done. When I got married the first time (and when you hear the details you will realise why I am now on to my second), it was only seven weeks after I met the young lady. My basis for pursuing this jezebel was that she looked extremely fetching in those orange shorts the Hooters' girls wear. Now I'm down a house, a car and £500 a month I realise that I should have been more circumspect.

 

[MK Shrimper]

Civil Ceremony Dave? I'd be a gentle and tender lover and I cook a lovely risotto :stunned:

 

[Slipperduke]

I'm so out of practice with women that I very much doubt I could even contrive a snog with a stoinker inside of seven days.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

I'm so out of practice with women that I very much doubt I could even contrive a snog with a stoinker inside of seven days.

You've got a point there Slip. My story of ten years ago starred a leaner, hungrier and altogether more energetic Shackleford.

 

[callan]

With the aid of the internet this can definately be done, you could have a ting tong shipped over easy inside a week.
I reckon they wouldnt be too fussy about the dj set as long as there was some bongos played at some point.
Word of advice from Abdul accross the road though, don't go for a Russian bride his brother got one and she absolutely caned the buffet.

 

[DTS]

I'm so out of practice with women that I very much doubt I could even contrive a snog with a stoinker inside of seven days.

Funny as I was saying this to the lads on Wednesday. I couldnt even start to think about how to get hold of women again if I was ever single. Seems like a million years ago now.

 

[EastStandBlue]

Don't know... I'm single so I'll give it a go. What do I win?

 

[DTS]

Don't know... I'm single so I'll give it a go. What do I win?

Judging by Rustys post I think its minus a house, car and £500 notes

 

[Thorpe Groyney]

So long as you define a Ukranian shot putter or a Phillippino bloke in drag as 'a stunner' it's eminently possible.

 

[Den]

even if you did manage to find someone Dave I doubt very much she'll be able to walk down the isle with you without a crew of men or JCB to carry her.

we can see how well you perform tomorrow night...

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

With just seven sleeps to go until my life sentance begins tension at home is at a climax. Mrs DtS is worrying about every little detail of the wedding from what colour the name tags should be to what songs the DJ plans to play over his four hour set list.

I have similar worries such as who is going to get the beer in for our lads last night of freedom party the night before the wedding.

Last nighy Mrs DtS was in a particulat stressed mood so being the kind and considerate boyfriend that I am I told her if she didnt sit down and relax I was going to find a replacement for the wedding next week.

Mrs DtS claimed that with just eight days to go it would be impossible to find anyone that I could convince to marry me. We have ruled out marrages of convience (eg marrying an Asylum Seeker to get right to remain).

I on the other hand am sure that I could find someone if my life depended on it. I am not sayiong she would be a super model but I reckon I could convince somone female to walk down the isle with me next sat.

Over to you guys/girls - If you had to do you think you have it in you to get a new partner within a week, convince them you love them and actually get them to turn up at a wedding they knew had been arranged for someone else?

Is anyone else disturbed by the image in DtS' signature having read this?

 

[chadded]

Apart from the getting them to partake in a wedding planned for someone else, then yes I reckon I could.

Ie, if you've seen 'How to lose a guy in 10 days,' I am that man.