Best practical joke you have played?

[DTS]

Mine must have been about 7 years ago.

I was working for Yorkshire Building Society at the time in a small branch outside Brighton.

My old boss was called Greeny. Really nice bloke if not a little weird but me and him got on great. He was always coming in with hooky goods he had for sale or some cakes for the office he had paid 10p for.

Anyway I was studying to be signed off by the compliance manager up in Bradford and I had to send three files up for her to check before I was allowed to talk about mortgages without supervision.

My old boss as a joke knocked up a fax saying that I had got the worst score they had ever seen and that I had to do a six weeks intensive residential course In Bradford before I was allowed to work again. He faxed it to some bloke in Bradford who faxed it back for a laugh. I fell for it and was fumming.
Of course the truth came out and in the end we all laughed.

But there was no way I was going to let him get away wtih that.

My old boss really thought he knew the company inside out and always said he could do the job of the companys top man with his eyes closed. He had been with Yorkshire for 20 years and said he could do a better job.

So I decided to test this. I set up a shark mail account (Shark mail is where you can send an email from any address that you wanted without owning the address) and I sent him an email from Ian Cornish who was top man in the company at the time.

The basic of the email were that my boss thought of in very good stead by the Yorkshire and that Ian Cornish wanted to take my boss out for dinner at Brightons most exclusive hotel to discuss my bosses ideas to take the company forward. I also dropped hints of a new job with a six figure salary.

I told my boss via this email to be ready on a certain day and to look smart as I would be sending a car to pick him up at 5pm from the office.

Now I thought he would rumble this straight away but to my amazement he didnt.

The day came of the so called meeting and the boss came in looking like a dog with two dicks. He made the counter girls clean to office from top to bottom and even cleaned the windows himself. This was very funny as it was snowing and he was out in the cold for about two hours.

I so should have told him but didnt as I wanted to see how far it would go. It got to 4.45pm and I had to go in the boss's office to file something. As I walked in I have never seen a site like it. The boss had gone out and brought a white tux from a local charity shop. The jacket was two sizes two big and the trousers had had a fight with his shoes.

He told me to sit down and told me that there might be a chance I could manage the branch one day as he was "off to fry bigger fish". I laughed to myself and left the office at 5pm.

About 7pm I was meeting the lads down the pub and this entailed me walking past the office. As I got closer i saw the light was on. I got to the door fearing we were being robbed only to see my boss still there in his suit two hours after the office closed.

I didnt have the heart to tell him that it was all a joke and to this day I dont think he knows it was me. We blamed some mad woman that we sacked a month before and the boss brought it. He was like a bed with a sore head for about a week after but it was well worth it and he learnt I reckon that day in a way not to mess with DtS.

 

[Pubey]

Mine must have been about 7 years ago.

I was working for Yorkshire Building Society at the time in a small branch outside Brighton.

My old boss was called Greeny. Really nice bloke if not a little weird but me and him got on great. He was always coming in with hooky goods he had for sale or some cakes for the office he had paid 10p for.

Anyway I was studying to be signed off by the compliance manager up in Bradford and I had to send three files up for her to check before I was allowed to talk about mortgages without supervision.

My old boss as a joke knocked up a fax saying that I had got the worst score they had ever seen and that I had to do a six weeks intensive residential course In Bradford before I was allowed to work again. He faxed it to some bloke in Bradford who faxed it back for a laugh. I fell for it and was fumming.
Of course the truth came out and in the end we all laughed.

But there was no way I was going to let him get away wtih that.

My old boss really thought he knew the company inside out and always said he could do the job of the companys top man with his eyes closed. He had been with Yorkshire for 20 years and said he could do a better job.

So I decided to test this. I set up a shark mail account (Shark mail is where you can send an email from any address that you wanted without owning the address) and I sent him an email from Ian Cornish who was top man in the company at the time.

The basic of the email were that my boss thought of in very good stead by the Yorkshire and that Ian Cornish wanted to take my boss out for dinner at Brightons most exclusive hotel to discuss my bosses ideas to take the company forward. I also dropped hints of a new job with a six figure salary.

I told my boss via this email to be ready on a certain day and to look smart as I would be sending a car to pick him up at 5pm from the office.

Now I thought he would rumble this straight away but to my amazement he didnt.

The day came of the so called meeting and the boss came in looking like a dog with two dicks. He made the counter girls clean to office from top to bottom and even cleaned the windows himself. This was very funny as it was snowing and he was out in the cold for about two hours.

I so should have told him but didnt as I wanted to see how far it would go. It got to 4.45pm and I had to go in the boss's office to file something. As I walked in I have never seen a site like it. The boss had gone out and brought a white tux from a local charity shop. The jacket was two sizes two big and the trousers had had a fight with his shoes.

He told me to sit down and told me that there might be a chance I could manage the branch one day as he was "off to fry bigger fish". I laughed to myself and left the office at 5pm.

About 7pm I was meeting the lads down the pub and this entailed me walking past the office. As I got closer i saw the light was on. I got to the door fearing we were being robbed only to see my boss still there in his suit two hours after the office closed.

I didnt have the heart to tell him that it was all a joke and to this day I dont think he knows it was me. We blamed some mad woman that we sacked a month before and the boss brought it. He was like a bed with a sore head for about a week after but it was well worth it and he learnt I reckon that day in a way not to mess with DtS.

hahaha:hilarious:

 

[callan]

My favorite was getting the Missus to see how long she could lay down balincing a coke bottle top on her nose to see if she could beat the ficticious world record of 4 hours 37 minutes.
Imagine her dissapointment when I accidently knocked it off at Four hours 30 minutes.

 

[Uncle Leo]

At my school we had gas heaters with little grills on the front. I once balanced a marble on the grill in my form room before going to art class and then went back to get it about twenty minutes later, on the pretence of being on a toilet break.

By this time the marble was red hot, so I brought it back to art class by pulling my school jumper over my hand so it wouldn't scald me.

Once back in class, I rolled it along the floor towards the teacher. Wondering why there was a marble rolling along the floor, she picked it up. Soon put it down again though :hilarious:

The look of total shock on her face is still one of my fondest school memories.

 

[EastStandBlue]

Last year at Uni we had some great laughs... Aside from stealing all manner of crap and hiding it in places we had some great jokes around.

I lived in halls and every flat was basically a carbon copy of each other, everything was the same even down to the exact same television set. What they didn't realise was buying the same TV would mean that everybody had the same remote. We used to walk around Halls with our remote, hiding behind bushes and when somebody was watching a TV programme, mess around with the tv... Change the channel, turn the volume up/down, turn the TV Off... change the language preset to Arabic etc. We found 1 flat with 1 particular hermit that never left and watched TV shows, we used to prey on him and he swore that the TV was screwed, we made him miss the endings of many of his favourite shows, needless to say he weren't happy when he found out it was us.

I was quite friendly with the security guards, so if i'd had a few used to sit in the office and have a cuppa before i went to bed. One night I nicked the cordless screw driver and removed every screw from the fan... So that when they turned it on next it would all fall apart.

One of my favourite though was to my flatmate. We got on really well and had our own little war going on. One night she went out and accidentally left her room open, time for me to strike.
I moved everything i could from her room into the corridor and set it up exactly how it was. I left the flat and went down the pub... Needless to say when I got back she wasnt happy at all.

 

[grayhound]

The latest wind up weve done was to our mate Natbite (he calls himself natbite as he rekons when he was younger he used to have so many lovebites from differnet birds that it looked like he had been attacked by nats).

As good a mate as he his the geezers an absolute tool and is clueless when it comes to anything with modern technology.

Anyway as the story goes i got a new phone and it took a week to change my number over so i thought heres my chance to get him going.

After sending him a few texts making out to be one of his old work colleagues Sue he thought he was guranteed to get his willy wet on the Saturday night.

Some of the stuff he was sending back really did make me laugh. If only he had a picture phone im sure i could of got some quailty snaps.

He phoned us up a couple of days before and i had to get my girlfriend to make out that she was Sue and she was busy and would get back to him later. He still didnt have a clue what was going on.

Anyway come Saturday night hes come down dressed to impress and looked a bit on edge. His boasting about how hes gonna take Sue home and what hes gonna be doing to her whilst were all going home alone.
I decided to get the ball rolling and to sneak to the toilet and text him saying im at the far bar in the last post. When i come back hes already disappered.

He comes back and were winding him up saying whey youve been blown out. So he goes alright ill show you boys, rings her and walks off. Once hes got far enough away I thought lets put him out his misery. I answered the phone and all the boys went - whey!!

Hes still amazed to this day how i done it. He thinks i broke in to her phone even though it was just a differnet number lol.

 

[Flaiming Moe]

About 8 years ago a few of us were round a mates house having a few beers.

We spent the evening drinking, playing cards and darts etc etc.

The guy whose house we were at was telling us that he and his wife were going to a fancy dress party the following weekend and said that his costume was quality, his wife thought it was awful.

He showed us this costume of an alien, it was a tight grey outfit and it did look a bit freaky.

We dared him to walk along the top of his road which was in a quiet area, wearing the costume.

So we all hid behind some bushes finding the whole thing ridiculously funny. Unfortunately not many people were about at 11:30pm on a cold November night, however a car soon came along the road and our mate was there in this costume in the full glare of the headlights, the car slowed down at first to work out what this thing was and then sped off with the young male driver looking somewhat petrified.

After about 5 minutes we were all freezing our butts off and decided enough was enough and headed back indoors for more booze.

Just after midnight 3 of us then headed off home in a cab, on passing the scene of our earlier joke we were shocked to see 2 police cars and a dog unit searching the area following a report from a motorist.

Can only assume that they were looking for our 'Extra-Terrestrial' friend.

 

[Mad Cyril]

Back in the days when people didn't sue at the drop of a hat we were regularly left unsupervised during metalwork, woodwork classes at school.

I can remember one comedian shutting the metalwork class door and heating up the door handle with a brazing torch.

Unfortunately for him the next person to enter the room was the metalwork teacher who believe it oran ex Mr Universe competitor with a short temper.

Someone grassed the lad up and he received a dry slap for his troubles.

 

[Uncle Leo]

One of my favourite though was to my flatmate. We got on really well and had our own little war going on. One night she went out and accidentally left her room open, time for me to strike.
I moved everything i could from her room into the corridor and set it up exactly how it was. I left the flat and went down the pub... Needless to say when I got back she wasnt happy at all.

Ah, an old classic, we did that one at uni too :) .

Some of the girls once turned everything in my room upside down as well. Annoying, but fair play to them :thump:

 

[Usual_Suspect]

Many years ago while working at the family store that is Kwik Save, the Flying Scotsman and I opened up a packet of meat loaf and relising it's appearance was very similar to a **** we wrapped it in some toilet paper and left it on the very proud butchers scales for a morning treat.

Needless to say he was none to happy at thinking one of the night shift had taken a dump on his scales.

When you're earning £2.47 an hour you need to entertain yourself somehow.

 

[Pubey]

Ah, an old classic, we did that one at uni too :) .

Some of the girls once turned everything in my room upside down as well. Annoying, but fair play to them :thump:

yep those are classic. the best one we had was all the doors opened inwards along the corridor and if you tied the door handles across the corridor with some rope then neither person could get out. also the shower room for our block had one of those locks you can open from the outside with a knife or coin... after a few we used to wait for one of the lads to get in the shower and then all of us rush in and freak him out... sounds gay but it wasnt!:rolleyes:

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

First year at uni, I was living in halls. We had a few run-ins with university administration and so were use to receiving notes requesting our presence with the provost to explain our actions and had received a few warnings as to our conduct.

I noticed that I could replicate the font and headings used on these letters on my lap-top. I got the rest of the corridor in on the prank, other than this cocky South London wide-boy, called Paul and a couple of days later we all found ourselves in receipt of letters requesting our presence one after another at the provosts. Paul had sailed close to the wind on a couple of occasions, and I'd worded his and another one of the more likely transgressors' letters slightly stronger, hinting that at this disciplinary meeting their future in university halls of residence would be considered. With what I thought was a nice touch, their letters had been saved under fictitious file names ending (visible at the bottom of the page) eviction5 and eviction6.

The meetings were due to take place Wednesday morning, because I knew that Wednesday was Paul's only lie-in all week and because Tuesday night was stuuuudent night at the local nightclub and normally a big night out.

Monday morning/afternoon when the science students got back form their lectures or the art students woke up, everyone found themselves in receipt of these letters. Paul was clearly bricking it, and the others were playing along. We might have stirred it up a little, with a few 'what if' comments and I pretended to be p*ssed off at having to get up at 10am, which allowed Paul to reveal that his "meeting" was at 8am and he'd have to get up earlier than normal. After having a good night out Tuesday, I awoke Wednesday lunchtime to discover that Paul had got up extra early and wondered off in the direction of the provost's house. He denied knocking on the provost's door, but later changed his story and rumour had it that he got a b*ll*cking from the provost for turning up at the provost's house as he wasn't to be contacted at home.

 

[South Bank Hank]

I feel like such an amateur compared to you nutters...

A few years back, we tried our very best to send one of the old girls in the office mad. Every morning without fail she'd park her car in the company's multi-story car-park, come up in the lift, go into her office, dump her bag and car keys separately on the desk and head off for a 10 minute coffee break.

One of us would be sure to keep her talking in the kitchen while someone else moved her car. It started out being very subtle, just changing the direction the car was facing. We then progresed to moving the car a space or so away from where it was, going as far as putting it on a different level. Her seat position was regularly adjusted.

When we followed her to her car, every night she seemed confused, but she never mentioned it and never questioned anything.

Another day we opened all the windows but she never stopped leaving those keys around.

 

[Cricko]

When I first left school I was training to be a carpet fitter ...The guy I worked for was always pulling stupid jokes and wind up's ...but his favourite was ....

Whenever a customer would offer us a cup of tea...he would make sure he got there first ..He would then drop a bunch of his pubes into MY tea and wander back into the kitchen to talk to the customer, still with my tea in hand......He would then call out for me to come and drink my tea before it got cold as Mrs whoever had been kind enough to make it for us... Of course the lady would then say fancy another cup to which my mate would reply ....Oh No not for me but John will have one..This was always from then on a competition ...many cups of tea left balconies or ended up in peoples plant pots ...I dont think I ever drank tea again at work ..

 

[The Flying Scotsman]

Many years ago while working at the family store that is Kwik Save, the Flying Scotsman and I opened up a packet of meat loaf and relising it's appearance was very similar to a **** we wrapped it in some toilet paper and left it on the very proud butchers scales for a morning treat.

Needless to say he was none to happy at thinking one of the night shift had taken a dump on his scales.

When you're earning £2.47 an hour you need to entertain yourself somehow.

We certainly did keep ourselves amused working there!

I think one of the best ones I've done was when "Usual Suspect" got a bit friendly with a female one evening - now as far as they were both concerned it was just a bit of a snog and nothing else was going to come of it.

However, me being me, quickly set up an e-mail account on her behalf and started off sending him e-mails, starting off along the lines of "really enjoyed last night, hope we can meet up". As he didn't want to go down that route he politely replied along the lines of "yeah, great, but we'll leave it there"

This only prompted me to pester him for the next few months to the extent that everytime we'd meet up he would tell me all about this weirdo who's stalking him. He then started forwarding the e-mails I sent him onto me for me to read. Needless to say I was in hysterics!

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

A few years back Clare, a female colleague at work with whom I shared an office - who was pretty, if not film-star in her looks - appeared in our local paper, The Wharf, as the "face in the crowd". Naturally, this caused a small stir of excitement and general chuckles all round, as Clare got a £20 voucher from Oddbins and a small amount of fame in the office.

So far, so normal. A couple of days later, however, my chum Mike and I came up with a "cunning plan"... which essentially involved another of our mates, Beany, phoning up and pretending to represent a modelling agency.

Beany is a past-master at this sort of gag, and strung it along beautifully over the course of a couple of phone calls. Clare initially thought this was b*llox, which of course it was - but I hammed it up to the max, suggesting that maybe this really was a modelling agency.

In the meantime, I contacted The Wharf and said that as Clare's room-mate, was it possible for them to send me the "face in the crowd photo" so that I could give it to her as a gift, as she'd loved appearing in the paper. Naturally, they duly obliged. In the meantime, I'd also pinched a photo off Clare's desk (something which I'm fairly sure she didn't spot was missing).

These photos then got sent off to Beany - whose brother ran a small publishing business. Beany, in the meantime, had been continuing to call up Clare and giving it the chat - saying how she could be the face of the new millennium, and that his agency was really taken with her photo of the paper. They said that they would send her some story-board ideas, so that she could see what they could do with her image.

The best bit was provided by Beany's bruv. He made up really convincing looking front covers of magazines like Elle and Vogue, with Clare's face - taken from the photos I'd provided - on the bodies of super-models.

These then got sent to Clare in a special presentation box with a spoof letter from the modelling agency and with a number to telephone. For about half an hour, Clare was secretly semi-convinced that this really was a modelling agency... until she rang the telephone. That phone was, in fact, Mike's number... whereupon he & Beany both turned up to reveal the gag we'd been playing.

It got a lot of laughs... but also, perhaps, a hint of sadness from Clare that this had all been a spoof all along.

:D

 

[Bazza the dog]

Always game for a joke or two and poor old CS Cockles was usually the victim.

The best one was when I put an advert on a website called gumtree.com which basically advertises everything and anything. The ad read like this,

Grey African Parrott going free, 2 years old, answers to the name of Gary, a bit lively but a big heart so needs a bit of decent company as his old mate Andy is going back too Swaziland. Please call Andy Young on 07811 etc etc for more information.

I kid you not his phone was none stop for about a week with these people from all over wanting a free parrott and some of the emails, well I wish he has kept them as alot of them had me in fits of laughter. The poor sod had no clue and was in bits for ages until one night I took it off and confessed over a few pints.

He was ok about it really, that was until one day at work he went for him lunch and I got on his email and wrote of really cheesy letter to the echo about Ron Martin giving us back the North Bank. It started with Dear Uncle Ron etc etc and was just pure comical, like Dagenham Kev had wrote it or something just sad. Anyway I though nothing of it until about a week later when I went for a stroll down too Liverpool St station to buy the echo, it had been printed as the main letter with the title "Give us back what we want" by Andrew Young, Westcliff On Sea.

After that I stopped for a while as those two where a bit harsh, we are still the best of mates and he is gonna be a Dad next year so I think those days are past us. (Like ****)...

Sorry CS, we did have a giggle though son!!

 

[TrueBlue]

Always game for a joke or two and poor old CS Cockles was usually the victim.

The best one was when I put an advert on a website called gumtree.com which basically advertises everything and anything. The ad read like this,

Grey African Parrott going free, 2 years old, answers to the name of Gary, a bit lively but a big heart so needs a bit of decent company as his old mate Andy is going back too Swaziland. Please call Andy Young on 07811 etc etc for more information.

I kid you not his phone was none stop for about a week with these people from all over wanting a free parrott and some of the emails, well I wish he has kept them as alot of them had me in fits of laughter. The poor sod had no clue and was in bits for ages until one night I took it off and confessed over a few pints.

He was ok about it really, that was until one day at work he went for him lunch and I got on his email and wrote of really cheesy letter to the echo about Ron Martin giving us back the North Bank. It started with Dear Uncle Ron etc etc and was just pure comical, like Dagenham Kev had wrote it or something just sad. Anyway I though nothing of it until about a week later when I went for a stroll down too Liverpool St station to buy the echo, it had been printed as the main letter with the title "Give us back what we want" by Andrew Young, Westcliff On Sea.

After that I stopped for a while as those two where a bit harsh, we are still the best of mates and he is gonna be a Dad next year so I think those days are past us. (Like ****)...

Sorry CS, we did have a giggle though son!!

The devil has had a kid now soon Andy will! Jesus your all getting old!!!:finger:

 

[Dept36]

Having kids keeps you young not makes you old,ive got 5 and im feeling very young.
Dont know if Ben was joking but if not good luck andy.

 

[Tinks]

Ha ha some of these stories are good. Reminds me of the joke I played on a young junior doctor just out of med school. Several years ago when I was working on one of the wards a junior doctor started who was a liitle naive and wet behind the ears. Anyway after a few weeks (after I had got to know him) one morning he came in really happy as he had just brought his first car and was shouting that he had brought a bargain and took us out to inspect the thing. Anyway I contacted my friend who worked in CID at the local police station and he brought me over some headed notepaper. I then typed a letter to this doctor stating the car he had brought was stolen and that he had to report to the local police station the next day with the car and documents. I have never seen anyone so flustered and then he asked me to accompany him. He did go to the station as arranged and was sent away with a flea in his ear. To this day I still haven't the guts to tell him it was me and we have remained friends and now he is a top consultant in one of the London hospitals. I still laugh at it now and still have images of him kacking himself.