Best man speech

[Uncle Leo]

Finally breaking my duck this weekend, acting as best man for my good mate Tom.

Not nervous or anything - public speaking comes relatively easily to me - but I am struggling a little for material. He's a great lad, but there aren't many dark tales from his past to which I can allude! Similarly, apart from his dad, I don't know his family at all so need to be careful with how I pitch it.

So this is a thread that (a) has me fishing for a few tips and pointers and (b) any good tales from best man speeches you've heard yourself.

PS I've got another one later in the year, but that one writes itself. The man is a total clown.

 

[TrueBlue]

Takes me back to my best mans speech for Smiffy

 

[MK Shrimper]

Hire a sheep, a nun and a industrial size tub of swarfega. The rest writes itself.

 

[Massimo Giovanni]

Treat the bride like christmas turkey, breast in one hand, leg in the other, and stuffing in between.:'(

 

[Ricey]

I was recently a best man for fellow shrimper Tris who used to play with me for SZFC some may remember.

http://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-speeches/example_best-man_speeches_1/

Above is a great link for example speeches. Like you Tris isn't one for being a rebel or a crazy cat in fact he is relatively boring when it comes to silly stories. There were two of us and we linked our speeches together and it went down a treat. Just simple jokes such as:

For those of you that don't know me my name is Matt Whatcanigetya one of Tris's closest friends, so when you see me later at the bar if you could please address me by my full name that would be great.

There are some crackers on there and we nicked a load and made them into one. The one with throwing que cards away gets a few laughs. Have a look and if you need any advice feel free to ask mate.

 

[Dick Bate's Protege]

I have it on good authority that Swiss Tony used the old 'it's such an emotional occasion, even the cake is in tiers' at two different weddings. Sadly, it was for the same Groom each time.

 

[Mad Cyril]

Have a few drinks and wing it.

 

[steveo]

Who does he support?

 

[Special Blue]

Hire a sheep, a nun and a industrial size tub of swarfega. The rest writes itself.

What no cling film?:winking:

 

[Uncle Leo]

Who does he support?

Liverpool, the idiot. (He's from Cornwall)

 

[OldBlueLady]

Kev's brother was our best man and he stitched Kev up good and proper. Got several "incriminating" photos blown up (ones where he was about 8 and dressed smartly in short trousers, all skin and bone; one dressed as a "laydee"; one sharing a bed on holiday with one of his mates - you know the kind of stuff) and then wrote his speech around them, with his two sons holding them up as it came to that part of the story, all to wish me well in what I was taking on! It was all aided by props like blow up guitar, Union Jack apron, anti-aging cream etc. Very clever, and very funny.

 

[steveo]

Liverpool, the idiot. (He's from Cornwall)

Ok, have you got any little kids? If not find some little kids and before the speech starts say these are a gift from the little kids so he cant refuse to wear them. Then put an Everton hat and scarf on him and invite people to take photos before you start the speech.

 

[Uncle Leo]

Ok, have you got any little kids? If not find some little kids and before the speech starts say these are a gift from the little kids so he cant refuse to wear them. Then put an Everton hat and scarf on him and invite people to take photos before you start the speech.

That is a fine shout - if not my kids (two years old and not very good at following orders, least of all from me) then I may be able to enlist his godchildren, who are page boy and flower girl.

 

[Mad Cyril]

I was an evening guest at a wedding where the bests man in an effort to demonstrate how close he was to the groom mentioned in his speech that the groom and himself sent each other pictures of their, ahem, 'passed motions' on their mobiles. He then followed this up with material that would make Jim Davidson blush and several guest walked out in disgust.

I am gutted I missed it.

 

[southend4ever]

I was recently a best man for fellow shrimper Tris who used to play with me for SZFC some may remember.

http://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-speeches/example_best-man_speeches_1/

Above is a great link for example speeches. Like you Tris isn't one for being a rebel or a crazy cat in fact he is relatively boring when it comes to silly stories. There were two of us and we linked our speeches together and it went down a treat. Just simple jokes such as:

For those of you that don't know me my name is Matt Whatcanigetya one of Tris's closest friends, so when you see me later at the bar if you could please address me by my full name that would be great.

There are some crackers on there and we nicked a load and made them into one. The one with throwing que cards away gets a few laughs. Have a look and if you need any advice feel free to ask mate.

Top website that. Nice speech.

 

[prawntobewild]

A man is not complete until he is married ....& once he is he's finished.

 

[Mad Cyril]

If I could just say a few words.......I'd be a better public speaker!

 

[Napster]

As unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...

 

[Davros]

I was recently a best man for fellow shrimper Tris who used to play with me for SZFC some may remember.

http://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-speeches/example_best-man_speeches_1/

Above is a great link for example speeches. Like you Tris isn't one for being a rebel or a crazy cat in fact he is relatively boring when it comes to silly stories. There were two of us and we linked our speeches together and it went down a treat. Just simple jokes such as:

For those of you that don't know me my name is Matt Whatcanigetya one of Tris's closest friends, so when you see me later at the bar if you could please address me by my full name that would be great.

There are some crackers on there and we nicked a load and made them into one. The one with throwing que cards away gets a few laughs. Have a look and if you need any advice feel free to ask mate.

I Remember Tris playing for us... a fair few times more than yourself to be fair, lol

 

[haveaguiness]

I was best man at a wedding last year for a Friend from uni and didn't really know the family or non uni friends and have another one in a couple of weeks with a friend from school who I have known since I was 4 and know the family pretty well as well as all of the friends, as I went to school with all of them! Two massively different scenario's but I'm just approaching them the same.

At the end of the day, the best piece of advise I was given was to just be yourself. Don't try and make everything a joke and don't go on for too long. 3-5 minutes is supposedly the best time; enough time to say what you need to say, short enough to keep everyone's attention. Also you need to know your audience. There was kids last year and there are kids this year, so any "over the top" jokes simply cannot be done, BUT that doesn't mean you can't hint at them at some point.

As long as you get the important bits right; the thanking the families on behalf of the groom, saying how beautiful the bridesmaids look and how good a job they have done, and say the toast at the end it doesn't really matter if the rest of it goes a little tits up, because you can just go straight to the bar after and get wasted.