What will actually happen is this. We draw at Port Vale, but start a great winning streak with Tomlin firing from all angles. This sneaks us into the play-offs by a point with a game to go, meaning we have to beat Morecambe to guarantee the play-offs.
A packed Roots Hall witnesses a Mohsni brace as we go into half-time 2-0 up. 2 minutes into the second-half and Mohsni concedes a penalty, even though we won the ball his follow through took their striker's head clean off and gets sent off.
The resulting penalty is saved, but in a desperate attempt to clear the ball, Cresswell smashed the ball straight at Smith's head into the net. The crowd are furious with Smith, of course, and start chanting "Bart! Bart! Bart!".
2-1 and the match turns scrappy. Sturrock brings on an extra midfielder, Lund, to replace Assombalonga. Almost immediately he gets the ball on the left, cuts inside and smashes a shot towards goal. The whole of the South stand on their feet expecting the net to bulge, but it didn't. Their defender stuck his arm out stopping it and knocking it out for a corner. The referee and linesman exchange looks and shrug at each other as the Southend players protests get louder and louder. Sturrock sprints onto the pitch and headbutts the linesman, followed by a swift kick in the referee's crotch. Fortunately for the referee, his lack of meat and 2 veg meant he didn't feel anything, but still sent Sturrock to the stands.
The game becomes a midfield battle, and after several minutes, all 19 outfield players are in the centre circle forming a large bundle which no-one can get out. Somehow, the ball is freed from the scrum that has formed and their keeper sprints out to retrieve the ball. With no challenge, it is a one-on-one between both goalkeepers as their keeper enters the 18 yard box, Smith comes out to close the angle causing the oncoming player to panic so much that he slips over, smashes his face on the ball causing it to go 50 feet in the air before nestling in the corner of the net.
2-2 and the game is delayed by 10 minutes as the ruck in the middle of the pitch is seperated one by one. Every other game has finished and Northampton, the team 1 point below at the start of play had won, meaning Southend need to win or the play-off dream is over.
Southend continue to attack, but fail to create any decent chances, but the ball falls to Hurst 20 yards out but his shot is charged down and goes out for a corner. A noise is heard around the stadium, "Substitution for Southend, number 21 Gavin Tomlin coming off for .....", astonished fans murmur as they see who is about to come on. Is it really him? How can this be possible? It was him, Blair Sturrock had returned and straight into help the corner.
The excitement is too much for some fans, as a couple of women run onto the pitch and start making love with Blair's leg like a couple of rabid dogs. Stewards eventually remove them, and the ref blows his whistle for the corner to be taken. Hurst majestically flashes a cross in, Phillips wins a header and the crowd hold their breath, but it is cleared off the line. The ball falls again to Hurst and he quickly hits it into the crowded penalty area, a group of players jump up to contest the ball with one who leeps highest. Blair Sturrock flicks his ponytail and with a crack that can be hear for miles, the ball flies into the corner of the net. Roots Hall roars into ecstasy. 3-2, they had done it and the final whistle blows.