17 Shades of Stupid

[Pubey]

This is brilliant, someone has collated BDSM/sex tips from women's magazines and collated them.

http://www.nerve.com/advice/ridiculous-tips/shades-of-stupid-emcosmo-ems-worst-bdsm-tips

Examples include:

"Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body — his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs."

"Let him run an electric toothbrush between your toes mid-foreplay. He shouldn’t stop no matter how much you squirm."

"Have him use a ruler to lightly tap your inner thighs as he goes down on you."


I'm sure the good folk of SZ can come up (ooh er) with some better ones...

 

[Napster]

I like to use a spatula and a whisk.

 

[southend4ever]

setting her nips alight whilst frying bacon is good too.

 

[number11]

This blueberry muffin comment made me laugh. A lot.

4. "Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body — his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs."
This was clearly written at lunchtime, after a morning spent rummaging around the office for kinkspiration. Rejected options: "Hold a blueberry muffin in your fist and punch him in the mouth."

 

[WightShrimper]

Pour Brandy over her pubes, light them, then like a brave Second World War pilot, go down in flames!