• Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.

    Existing Users:.
    Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.

    New Users:
    Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.

    Fans from other clubs
    We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.

    Assistance Required
    For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.

lawn

  1. davewebbsbrain

    Any Solicitors on SZ

    I need some advice from a Solicitor regarding damage to my property. Basically there is a flat in my Cul de Sac that is owned but rented out and managed by a property company. Some work was done at the property over xmas to the fence and the front garden, which was concreted over. The concrete...

  2. Sponsor a Lawn Mower

    I have been asked by the Chairman of Great Wakering Rovers if I know anyone who could sponsor a sit-on lawn mower for this season. Any takers ?
  3. DTS

    Lawnmowers

    Morning All, My wife has tasked me with the mission of getting us a Lawn mower this weekend. I know nothing about them at all. Prices seem to range from dirt cheap to well expensive. Has anyone got any hints as to what features I should be looking at? Have yoy got one you can recommend? Tks DtS
    • DTS
    • Thread
    • features lawn lawnmowers mower
    • Replies: 20
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  4. Smiffy

    DJ needed Sun Aug 28th

    So I'm tying the knot on Sun 28th August at The Lawn in Rochford and need a decent DJ with all the gear, to spin some tunes (a nice genre mix) for the evening reception (approx 7pm-midnight) Anyone? Mates rates would be appreciated! Drop me a PM please. Ta muchly.
  5. Mad Cyril

    Badgers - Game, set and match?

    I came in from football last night and noticed the security light in my back garden was on. Looking through the patio doors I noticed a young badger strolling across my decking which probably explains the recent holes that have appeared in my lawn. Anyone know what I can do to get rid of them?
  6. Benfleet A1

    Kids Just Don't Know Their Born

    While having a wonder around the shop today it suddenly struck me just how little kids know of the real world and what they are missing out on. It started when my missus mentioned our niece and how it must cost her mum a fortune so she can wear all the clobber and make-up yet she hasn't two...
    • Benfleet A1
    • Thread
    • applied bang blowing bottles cinema cliff contribute cos darlings daw duck entertaining filling fortune grave hasn hidden lawn mask money nails nests niece oil ops packing rounds shallow stairs takeaway touched twenty whos
    • Replies: 8
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  7. BLUEBLOOD

    How to start a fight

    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... ------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming...
    • BLUEBLOOD
    • Thread
    • bedroom blowing channels ched curly dressed driveway dru ead fixed gas hasn lawn millionaire mower mph processed pulled realized reunion revealing scissors seated shirt somewhere thorn truck wallet warmed wore wouldn
    • Replies: 0
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  8. Aberdeen Shrimper

    No more Paving your front Garden With out permission

    As of next month you will need planning permission of to pave, slab or concrete your front garden. With an increase of people digging up the lawn and laying slabs or paving to park there cars on there is an increased concern over flooding. When there is a down poor, a lot of the water will...
  9. Uncle Leo

    Brand disloyalty

    Passing through Heathrow the other day, I saw a lot of adverts for that airline XL. First thought was - "That's the mob who sponsor those tossers West Ham" That then got me thinking - would I avoid putting business their way because of that? I'd certainly not be inclined to go to their website...
    • Uncle Leo
    • Thread
    • adverts airline bra disloyalty heathrow lawn products refuse tossers
    • Replies: 53
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  10. callan

    Interview with a zoner part 5.

    Canvey shrimper is our latest interviewee known to some also as Harry, but back in the 70's when terrace violence was at its height he was known as Malcolm the Teapot, a name that would strike terror into opposition fans. Q. Share with us your experiences of the terrace violence that was so...
    • callan
    • Thread
    • afford bake boreham creams deed didn discover doesnt elton fro hall hanks lawn macintosh numbered pulled terror uns wogan
    • Replies: 3
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  11. Sean 2

    Calling all petrolheads...

    The greatest show on earth descends onto the region that is West Sussex next weekend. Aptly named "The Festival of Speed",it showcases many varieties of motorsport disciplines and so much more.Lord March opens up his " back garden" that is Goodwood and let's screaming machinery such as F1...
    • Sean 2
    • Thread
    • bra deed lawn literally motorsport petrolheads production screaming silverstone superbikes
    • Replies: 4
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  12. shrimper loz

    For all those mums out there!

    WHAT WE OWE OUR MOTHERS! 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME...
    • shrimper loz
    • Thread
    • brough gene hypocrisy lawn mower mums religion roots science stamina taught
    • Replies: 4
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  13. Flinty

    The View from my Window at Work

    I actually have quiet a nice view from my window at work. I sit with Waltham Abbey to the right of me whcih is surrounded by a large tree in full bloom, a lawn that contains a number of daisys and a perimeter brick wall about 2ft high. The wall though has a number of cracks in but this merely...

  14. You're Hired, You're Fired

    Quite apart from the fact that my credit rating is lower than Montserrat's position in the FIFA rankings, I wouldn't want a mastercard due to my utter contempt for their current advertising campaign. Kids want PS3s, Prada phones, £300 plimsolls, so parents work their arses off and take on a...
    • Bentley's Absurd Gait
    • Thread
    • ead lawn phones qui wouldn
    • Replies: 11
    • Forum: Homer's Bar

  15. New B&Q

    ... open tomorrow and apart from the free Candy Floss, stilt walkers and face painters does anyone know what special opening offers are available ? I'm in need of a new Lawn Mower!
    • jstallan
    • Thread
    • candy lawn mower pain painters stil
    • Replies: 7
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  16. Vange Shrimper

    Proud to be British?

    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything...
    • Vange Shrimper
    • Thread
    • battery bottles brits chocolate cigarettes didn diet faster fro fur furniture ish japanese kebab knives lawn mower parts pulling rink supermarkets suspicion
    • Replies: 27
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  17. BoyWonder2

    Best Of British

    Best of British   Be very proud to be British Because:   Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.   Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy...
    • BoyWonder2
    • Thread
    • battery bottles britan britannia brits chocolate cigarettes didn diet ead faster fro knives lawn mower parts pulled pulling rink supermarkets toys
    • Replies: 1
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
  18. Napster

    sergio

    Searle signs on with Forest Green Searle will bring valuable experience to Forest Green Forest Green Rovers have brought experienced defender Damon Searle back to The Lawn for a second spell. Searle has agreed a deal until the end of the season after leaving Hornchurch following the...
    • Napster
    • Thread
    • brough collapse following joi lawn league southend southend united spells
    • Replies: 0
    • Forum: Ex-Shrimpers
  19. Suffolk Shrimper In Dorset

    My dog is called 'Shrimper'

    To pre-empt a few possible replies, I am not refering to two legged Tracey's and Sharon's, though have your fan if you like. Last year the family hound arrived - struggling to justify what I might shout in the local park without too much cause for embarasment and with early suggestions...
  20. Napster

    Spotted!

    Spotted this week: Friday 16th July 2004 Southend Airport, 08:50: 1 Cuckoo (flew over Aviation Way). Paul Griggs (SOG). Thursday 15th July 2004 Battlesbridge, 09:15: 1 Little Egret (again in the pool where the new A130 crosses the Crouch). Paul Baker (SOG). Wednesday 14th July 2004 Benfleet...
    • Napster
    • Thread
    • airport broadway creek eastwood fleet following hills incl lawn legged reed thundersley wes
    • Replies: 5
    • Forum: Homer's Bar
Back
Top